QD:Season 2, Chapter 13. (Streetsweepers vs. Peerless Person and Phenomenal Female)

July 2nd, 2014.

Smoke rolled out of a blasted hole in the wall of the Lentilville prison.
Several prisoners gleefully escaped through the hole.

One of which was a muscular gentlemen who had been known months before as Peerless Person.
His liberator handed him his folded costume, and led him to a getaway car.

PP's liberator was a statuesque figure of womanhood standing exactly six feet tall, with black hair, bare arms and shoulders, metal gauntlets with masonic green pyramid eyes on them, a silver tiara bearing another pyramid eye, blue chest armor with white stars on the tits, and the preamble to the Constitution written down the belly, red spandex pants, and blue boots.

She was Phenomenal Female.
Peerless Person's pen-pal, turned fiancee, turned accomplice.

Now, together, they planned to get some revenge on the one known as The Jade Shade.


Eidolon and Dwindle were walking down the street towards Hannalee's.
They got bored with the party, and bailed at midnight.

Dwindle stood a couple inches taller than Eidolon, and had shoulder length reddish brown hair in natural wavy curls, light brown skin, blue eyes, a single lip ring on the left side, and wore a yellow blazer with rolled up sleeves over a khaki v-neck t-shirt.
Also, grey postal shorts, white tights, and black knee high biker boots.

The yellow blazer was Dwindle's only concession to her family's super-team colors.

They walked side by side, and bitched about their parents like any pair of average teenage girls.

When they made it to Hanalee's, they sat at the picnic table intended for employees who smoked to take their break, and continued bitching, and joking, and mocking passersby until sunrise.
All the while, Dwindle puffed on a nicotene-free vape-pipe.
It was her one indulgence into hipster territory.

It was about then that Peerless Person and Phenomenal Female pulled into the parking lot.

Eidolon mistook them for more applicants for The New Freed Radicals, rolled her eyes, and called them over.

"Look, you guys are really late, the big shindig our folks are having is probably over by now".

Phenomenal Female scowled, and said "that's Jade-Shade's sidekicks's little bitch daughter, get her!!".

Peerless Person ran toward them, and got Eidolon by her jacket collar.

Dwindle swore, and auto-dialed her parents on her smartphone.

Eidolon wiggled out of her jacket, and got free of Peerless Person.

Dwindle threw a smoke capsule at PP's eyes, which he blocked with his wrist, but bought Eidie valuable seconds.

Eidie ran behind a dumpster, and auto-dialed the first alphabetical name in her contacts list on her watch, and got Chokecherry.

Between both of their calls, the cavalry was coming.

That suited PF and PP just fine.

From the wall behind the dumpster, Eidie heard Dwindle's voice say "excuse me, you're standing on my neck".

She started, and reeled around, and saw nothing.
Suddenly, a hole in reality seemed to open up on the wall.
"Get in here, stupid", Dwindle's voice said.
Eidie did so, and hopped into the hole.

Once inside, she could see they were under some kind of tarp laced with tiny cameras, and projectors, and the image of the wall behind them was being projected over them rendering them almost perfectly camouflaged.
The tarp was transparent enough on their side they could see events outside, only slightly obscured by the projection.

Eidie quickly assembled that this was Dwindle's "power", and the source of her code-name.

She went to say something, but Dwindle shushed her, and held up her smartphone.
Eidie nodded, and they texted each other.

Eidie said "sorry, don't wanna be a monkey wrench".

Dwindle said "boy, are they taking everlong to get here".


Finally, Chokie arrived on the Cherry-sicle.

Eidie texted "there goes my hero ;)".


Phenomenal Female sneered at Chokecherry, more-so than she had at Eidolon, and hissed "you little piece of biker slut white trash! How DARE you imagine yourself worthy as the successor to Ms. Pique! Your whole team is a bunch of runaways, dirtbags, and fuckups!".

With that, she ran up, and punched Chokecherry in the face full force.

Chokecherry stumbled back a couple steps, but recovered quickly.

Her lip immediately began to fatten, and blood rolled out of her nose like a leaky faucet.

Un-phased by this, she reached into her purse, and pulled out the Cherry-popper, and unloaded a round into each of PF's kneecaps, and dropped her like a sack of potatoes.

Then, she calmly marched up, and delivered a field goal kick into her stomach.

Dwindle texted "well...that escalated quickly".

All of this happened in a matter of seconds, before Peerless Person could even react, and now he roared with rage, and ran at Chokie fist cocked to strike, woman or no.

Chokie dropped, rolled, and flipped him judo style.
He landed badly, and road-rashed his face on the macadam.

The girls cheered behind their duck-blind, and then realized, and silenced themselves.

Chokie heard, and smiled.

Just then, Dr. H's van arrived, pulled up, parked, and JS got out.
He pulled out his kama with the blades retracted, and using them as regular Billy clubs, began to whale on Peerless Person like an unarmed drug suspect in LA.

Then, when he got tired of that, he pulled from his trench coat pocket, a disk about the size of a smoke detector, and placed it on PP's back, and adhered it with a peel off sticker.

Then, he pulled from the same pocket, a remote control the size of a car alarm key-chain, and began to punch buttons, causing PP to writhe around in visible pain.

"A new toy from the Doc, a Portable Agony Inducer".

Chokie acted kind of turned on, so he tossed her the remote, and let her play with it for awhile.

Eidie and Dwindle felt safe by now, and turned off and look down the duck-blind.
Dwindle began to fold it up, and in a little over a minute, when she was done, it was the size of a piece of bread, and she tucked it into her blazer.

Phenomenal Female reached out to PP, and sobbed "Johan!! Johan!! My love!".

Hanalee's had an outdoor plant display, and Chokie had already taken a pot of flowers, dumped out the flowers and soil, and had the pot ready to strike.
"My heart bleeds, twat", she said, voice laced with bored contempt, as she smashed the pot over PF's head, and knocked her cold.

JS put on his knuckle dusters, and delivered a final knockout punch to PP which also crushed his cheek and eye socket.

The turf war was over, JS and Chokie had earned the right once and for all to be the true successors to Danny Hugo, and Ms. Pique.
None of them said it, but all of them felt it.

Popcorn Girl and Mr. Inconceivable had gotten out of the van, and had been watching.

Mr Inconceivable was built much like Peerless Person, but even taller, was a black man of full blooded African descent, wore a classic costume very much like PP's, but all yellow (the same yellow as Dwindle's blazer), and with a mask and cowl, and three question marks on his forehead, and a confused looking emoticon on his chest with a word balloon saying "WTF???".

Popcorn Girl was pale, blonde, short haired, dressed like an old style usherette with a pillbox hat (in yellow with red trim), jacket (ditto), white gloves, black capri leggings, and black heels.

Mr. I woefully mumbled to JS "dammit, you left me nothing".

JS apologetically said "sorry 'bout that bro, I get too excited sometimes, you know how it is".

"I can still leave my calling card", Popcorn Girl said.
And with that, she plugged an electrical skillet into the van's cigarette lighter plug, melted a couple sticks of butter until they sizzled, unplugged the skillet, and poured half of the concoction each onto the unconscious bodies of PP and PF.

PF woke up for a moment during this, but PG whacked her with the skillet, and knocked her back out.

"There we go", she said, nodding in satisfaction.

A tall gaunt man in a baby blue raincoat and fisherman's cap got out of the van next.
It was The Slicker.
If Commander Continuum had been there, he would have recognized his haggard unshaven face as that of Nick Rainey.

Which was a shame, because he could have explained much to Eidolon about her biological lineage.
But, such was not to be.
At least not today.

"I've got an idea for an art project", he said with an eerie gravel in his voice when he saw the two unconscious villains.

And with that, he asked for JS's and Mr. I's help in dragging them into the van.


Round about lunchtime, the customers of Phileens department store in the back entrance to the Lentilville Mall saw a wondrous sight.

Peerless Person and Phenomenal Female tied up with zip ties and tightened lines to be in all fours positions, and made to took like they were kissing the asses of mannequins done up to look like Jade-Shade and Chokecherry.

They were kissing their asses under Phileen's bay window.

The symbolism was ham-fisted, but The Slicker was proud of it nonetheless.


Meanwhile, at about the same time, Eric Tucker, his face gnawed down to the skull by Faust the dog, was being loaded into a rescue unit.
He was still alive.

His neighbor, still watching from his bedroom window, still sipping from his mug, watched in rapt fascination.