Superheroes Six.

I'm late on this stuff.
Because of the stuff mentioned at the beginning of the second Dr. Strange review.

And, as I mentioned in the "Brew Review", section of Halloween, I'm boiling Halloween and Christmas down to one big labor saving post.
I was gonna do it anyway, but this crappy year pushes the need all the more.
I could just cancel, but I need to keep my mind busy.

Anyhoo, drawing off "All-purpose superhero/sci-fi update thread part 2.5".....


DC

Last year's
Superheroes Five: Part 1, DC.

• Batman v Superman: Dawn Of Justice finally came out. (first, second, blu-ray)
• Suicide Squad came out.
• Wonder Woman is all shot, and had two trailers. (first, second)
• Justice League had a trailer and a group pic.
• Flash, Aquaman, and Cyborg have logos.
• Flash keeps losing directors.
• Batman standalone is developing. Joe Manganiello is Deathstroke.
• Shazam is going to connect to the DCEU after all. No casting for Shazam himself still.
• DC finally has their Kevin Feige, and it's Geoff Johns.
• Sandman looks dead.
• Killing Joke came out and was "meh". (honest trailer review)
• Batman: Return Of The Caped Crusaders however was great!
• BM:ROTCC will have a sequel with William Shatner as Two-Face.
• Justice League: Dark has a poster, trailer, and featurette.
• Live-action "Justice League: Dark", a.k.a "Dark Universe", is still in development.
• Lobo movie has the Wonder Woman screenwriter.
• Booster Gold/Blue Beetle movie is confirmed, will be directed by Greg Berlanti, and will be separate from the DCEU.
• Joel Schumaker "Batman Triumphant", comics series rumor was bullshit.
• Wonder Woman had her 75th birthday. This Collider special did a good job of it.
• A Wonder Woman creator biopic is being done by Sony.
• Lego Batman had a great trailer. Also, Billie Dee Williams will be Lego Two-Face, after being robbed by "Batman Forever".

Marvel

Last year's.
Superheroes Five: Part 2, Marvel.

• Deadpool came out.
• Captain America: Civil War came out (first, second)
• X-Men: Apocalypse came out.
• Dr. Strange came out (first, second).
• Wolverine 3 is "Logan", and had a trailer.
• Guardians Of The Galaxy vol 2 had two trailers (first, second).
• Spider-Man: Homecoming just put out two trailers (first, second).
• Black Panther is in development, and has an awesome cast. (IMDB)
• Captain Marvel is finally cast, and it's Brie Larson.
• Infinity War is moving along, and will have Dr. Strange and The Guardians.
• No word on Ant-Man & The Wasp cuz it's so far away.
• Gambit looks dead.
• Deadpool 2 and X-Force are a go.
• New Mutants is a go.
• The animated Sony Spider-Man film will be about Miles Morales.
• There'll be a Stan Lee standalone by Fox that's a comedy biographical spy movie set in the 70's.
• Inhumans is alive again, but jump down to TV for that.

Off-brand Superheroes.

Last year's.
Superheroes Five: Part 3, Off-brand Superheroes.

• Valiant universe is still in development with Sony. (see TV for more)
• Officer Downe had a trailer.
• Jump to TV for Jupiter's Legacy.
• Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets had a trailer.
• Crow remake is still in development Hell. Mamoa signed on, another director left, production company changed.
• Spawn reboot still in development Hell next to Crow.
• Ghost In The Shell has a trailer.
• Power Rangers and Max Steel are things.
• Captain Planet rights bought by Leonardo Dicaprio's production company.
• Fede Alvarez is directing "Girl In The Spider's Web".
• Avengelyne is a thing.
• Incognito, based on a comic, to be directed by Fede Alvarez.
• Irredeemable, from a Boom! Studios comic. Think a Superman version of "Nemesis".
• An original superhero film called "Samaritan", in development.
• "Doctor Sleep", in development. Sequel to "The Shining", but it's awfully comic-book-y.
• No word on the Hasbro Universe, but I've got a crazy theory about it.
• Jessica Chastain has signed on for Painkiller Jane. Soska Sisters are out as directors.
• Mandrake The Magician to be played by Sacha Baron Cohen.
• Toxic Avenger remake!! With the Sausage Party directer!!
• Battle Angel Alita looks like it's finally moving ahead (IMDB, Wiki)
• Here's a short film called "Sidekick", that'll make you cry.

All The Rest.

Last year's.
Superheroes Five: Part 4, All The Rest.

• Ghostbusters: Answer The Call finally came out. (first, second, third, digital, Blu-Ray)
• Ghostbusters: Ecto Force is still in development.
• Ghostbusters: untitled animated movie is still in development.
• Star Trek Beyond finally came out, and was actually really good.
• Star Wars: The Force Awakens came out last year. (first, second, third, fourth)
• Rogue One is on its way this Friday. (poster, trailer1, trailer2, IMDB)
• TMNT 2 came out, and people that liked the first one hated this one.
• Furiosa prequel (Mad Max Fury Road) still in development.
• Wrinkle In Time to be directed by Ava DuVernay. (IMDB)

TV.

Last year's.
Superheroes Five: Part 5, Superhero TV.

• Marvel-
• The Ghost Rider season of Shield happened, and was great.
• No word on Damage Control
• Agent Carter died. (as a show, and the character in Civil War!)
• Marvel's Most Wanted died.
• New Warriors in development on ABC. (with Squirrel Girl and Ms Marvel)
• Daredevil season 2 (with Punisher!) was fucking incredible.
• Luke Cage was fantastic, and we're getting season 2
• Jessica Jones is getting a season 2
• Punisher spinoff happening on Netflix.
• Iron Fist is in its way.
• As is Defenders.
• Cloak And Dagger coming on Freeform (formerly ABC Family)
• Inhumans lives again! It's going to be an ABC show, and the first episodes will be shown in I-Max theaters as a movie. So the movie is revived that way. Hopefully, it'll bridge MCU and Shield.
• Legion has a trailer.
• Hellfire Club died.
• Runaways is in development for Hulu.
• Big Hero 6 is going to be a hand drawn animated series.
• DC-
• Supergirl moved to CW.
• Superman popped up on Supergirl.
• Holy shit, Legends premiered last year!! Season 2 had its finale!
• Supergirl and Flash crossed over on CBS.
• Supergirl, Flash, Arrow, and Legends had a 4 way crossover, and it was excellent.
• Vixen joined Legends.
• Lynda Carter was the president on Supergirl.
• Pee-Wee was Penguin's dad on Gotham.
• Jerome is coming back to Gotham by popular demand.
• Powerless is still moving along.
• Justice League Action is the new JL cartoon.
• Preacher had its first season, and it was wonderful!!
• Krypton is still in development.
• Black Lightning is development for Fox.
• I've lost track of I-Zombie entirely.
• I don't watch Lucifer.
• Young Justice had another season.
• Misc-
• Star Trek: Discovery is the official name of series 6.
• Brian Fuller left ST:DSC to work on "American Gods".
• MST3K's kickstarter comeback is on its way.
• Xena reboot is still on the way.
• Alien Nation reboot is a thing.
• Essex County based on a giant graphic novel is gonna be a show.
• Voltron reboot happened. Heard good things, haven't seen it.
• Stretch Armstrong is gonna be a show somewhere.
• The Boys is still in development.
• Wildcards is in development.
• Jupiter's Legacy went from movie to TV.
• There's going to be an "Umbrella Academy", show.
• Valiant is doing a web series of Ninjack crossing with all the other Valiant-verse characters (and it's by Batinthesun).
• Valiant is doing Dr. Mirage on CW.
• Vampire Hunter D: Resurrection is going to be a thing.
• Ai Tenchi Muyo came out, and was lame, here's my review, and I'm fucking done with Tenchi.

No updates for....

• The Marvel mystery movies for 2020.
• The Hasbro Universe.
• Chrononauts.
• Infinite Horizon.
• I Kill Giants.
• Chew.
• Crash Ryan.
• Blood Brothers.
• Lumberjanes.
• Imagine Agents.
• Nemesis.
• 100 Bullets.
• League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen reboot.
• Brilliance.
• Vicious.
• Steelheart.
• Incredibles 2.
• Adi Shankar's Gods and Secrets.
• Mega Man.
• The Six Billion Dollar Man.
• Teen Titans live-action.
• Dreadstar.
• Sex Criminals.
• Lazarus.
• The Wicked And The Divine.
• Hack/Slash.
• Greatest American Hero reboot.
• Rambo the series.
• Samurai Jack.

And, that's that.
See you next time for Christmas!


Read More......

A final note on all things Ebert.

Here's my ranting and ravings on Ebert in my review of "I Spit On Your Grave".

And here's Ebert's review of "Last Tango In Paris".
Spoilers, 4 out of 4 stars.

And here's an article containing a video where the director of "Last Tango In Paris", admits the butter rape scene was real.

And apparently, Maria Schneider had been saying it was rape for years, and no one listened.

I didn't know about any of this, cuz I didn't know the history of the movie, and haven't even seen it.
Ebert could plead no such ignorance.
He lived through the controversy, and it's one of his favorite films.
He knew.

So, artsy-fartsy movie with a real rape in it, 4/4 stars, and a big fat oozing of pretentiousness.

"I Spit On Your Grave", with fake rape, Ebert acts like it's a real crime, and wants the director's head, and tries to ruin him.

So, let's go back to my "I Spit On Your Grave", review.
That happened.
Then Ebert died.
The bastard died.
What a dirty trick.
I felt horrible about my ranting.
I tried for the last few years to backpedal it, to apologize to his ghost, to philosophize about my misspent passion and fervor, and see his career from a more positive perspective in spite of it all.
To evolve past my former outlook, and put it behind me in a classy way.
And then this falls in my lap.
And the guilt ends.
Goes up like a piece of flash paper.
Poof!

Fuck Ebert, fuck Brando, fuck Bertolucci.
Fuck you, you bastards.
You gross, boomer-age bastards.

My Ebert rants stand for all time.
Fuck you, Roger.
Fuck what you did to "I Spit On Your Grave", fuck what you did to Lloyd Kaufman's career, fuck what you tried to do to Freddy, and Jason, and "Silent Night Deadly Night", and on and on and on up to "Human Centipede".

Meanwhile, you watched a real rape, over, and over, and over.
And found it beautiful.

The guilt is done, and so too my journey with Ebert.
I admit, he was my hero in my teens.
His entries in Cinemania '93 (a CD-ROM movie guide before IMDB was a thing) were the best, I drank them like sacred wine.
He helped me develop as a movie hound.
I'll always be thankful to the nicer side of him for that.

But, Brando had a nice side too, he was Jor-El, but he raped a chick on film.

So, people are a mixed bag, is the take away.
Ebert taught me what to be and not be as a critic, and what not to be as a human.
I guess that's my philosophical lesson from the whole thing after all.

Goodbye, Roger Ebert, teacher, friend, enemy, and teacher again.


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Big Winter Movies Part 2. (Part 2.5).

• Part 0 (Ghostbusters)
• Part 0.5 (Ghostbusters)
• Part 1 (Ash)
• Part 2 (Dr. Strange)
• Part 3 (Batman:ROTCC)

Ahhhh, fiiiiinally, got to see this again!
Tomorrow will be a straight month since I saw it the first time.
Fuuuuuck!

Bad shit going down.
We're going through the sequel to the year of Hell.
Already spoiled Thanksgiving.
What a lovely time for it too, winter's supposed to be worse than last year, and the Trump-inator happened.
This is just the cherry on top we needed.
Please, beat us down more, universe.
I REALLY needed the escapism cinema provides.

Aaaanyhooo......


Doctor Strange (2016)

Rundown time!
Let's get right to it!

• Nothing to add to the movie I didn't observe last time.
• Except...I enjoyed it a lot more. Was able to pick up on more subtleties and details.
• Got my favorite seat. Only cuz I got there super-duper early.
• Theater was relatively empty.
• A small family, and two twenty-something bearded geeks rolled in after the lights dimmed.
• Always happens, always get through the Coke and Navy commercials, lights dim, you think "ahhhhh, I've got the place to myself!!", And then the dopes roll in with their mountain of snacks, so you know the snack purchases delayed them. 
• They were quiet though. Relief. Blessed relief.
• It was subtitled. I was annoyed at the ticket counter, but I had no other options for showtimes. Turned out the subtitles helped in spots. 
• All the little pieces I missed last time cuz of the three year old brats I got back now. The subtitles even helped there. When a character mumbles, titles make it clear. 
• The two dudes took off before the first post-credits, and the family took off before the second. Byyyeee!
• Traffic was annoying, got stuck behind an asshole, but lost him.

Ahhhhh, theeeere!
The antidote viewing!
Got it in just before it left theaters.


Next time, Rogue One!!!!!!!!!!!


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QD:Season 2, Chapter 23. (Harry Hembock upgrades)

After an excruciating session both telling and proving his story, and winning everyone's trust, Harry proceeded.

Harry tapped some controls on his teleport control unit, and a small black bit of plastic the size and dimensions of a flash drive and with rounded edges popped out of a compartment on top of the unit.

Harry removed the drive-like device, and placed a flat side horizontally across the middle of Eidolon's forehead.
It stuck there like a sticker via some sort of magnetism, or enhanced surface tension.

Harry punched some more controls, and a blue progress bar lit up on the small black device, and ran across in under 10 seconds, and then turned back off.

Harry popped the device off of Eidolon's head as easy as a kitchen magnet, and re-inserted it into the control pad where it immediately sucked back inside.

"There we go, you're copied to the internet. Now you don't have to wait 50 years, and humanity doesn't have to twiddle its thumbs worrying about you getting prematurely bumped off by a villain", Harry said as calmly as a doctor giving a routine checkup, and punctuating the end with a goofy smirk.

"So, saving the long term survival of humanity was that easy?", Eidolon asked incredulously.

"Well, yes and no. You in the original timeline had to go through those millions of years of hardship to get it right the first time, and that'll always be there somewhere in the multiverse. But for us? Yes, it was that easy", Harry said with another relaxed grin.

Eidolon held up her tablet "so, I've got the ISP and DNS addresses to the planet version of myself in the future on this now?", she asked, meaning the tablet.

"In a manner of speaking, yeah", Harry said.

"And with that, I can teleport?", she asked.

"Among an array of other things, yeah", Harry said.

She grinned, cycled through some startup wizard pages on an app, found the proper commands, and de-materialized.
It took her under a minute to suss the controls.

"Holy fucking asscrap!!", said Offal on the VHS tape still playing on a CRT TV.
Meanwhile, a bored Dwindle played the Deadly Fire Ants machine.

"Teenagers", Harry thought with an eyeroll.

Eidolon materialized in the computer room at the Den Of Seclusion, and transmitted the quantum mumbo-jumbo equivalent to ISP and DNS to all the computers there.

Then, she tapped out a quick "readme", file on everything that had happened, plus the instructions she'd just figured out, and e-mailed them to Dr. H.

Then, she propagated the same "ISP/DNS", addresses to the Omneron uplink watches of all the Freed Radicals, and to JS's mask.

One user it unwittingly propagated to, was Mike Meggison.

Not being as fresh and spry as Eidolon anymore, it took him a week to crack half the functions, but among other things, he stumbled onto access to Harry's control unit.

He remotely ejected one of the black drive devices, and beamed it to himself.

He popped it into the battery compartment of his blu-ray remote control, closed it up, and let the computer hack it for awhile.
When it was done, the remote was now his teleport uplink control unit.

Through it, he could patch his PC, thus the limitless powers of Planet Eidolon, through his TV.

He laid back in bed looking at his wall posters.
With the dimensions of the multiverse at his disposal, and with his posters as a map, he said "now...where do I want to go first?".


Meanwhile, back at Lovely's, and a week before, Dusty couldn't stop staring awkwardly at Harry, and finally said "so...you're my brother, right? You're alive?".

"'Sort of', to the first part, 'yes', to the second part...", Harry said.

Dusty made a move forward, and Harry stopped him with "please, no hugging".

Read More......

Belated Thanksgiving the 7th.

Thanksgiving this year was depressing and meaningless.

Didn't even pop into my head to post about it.

Here's happier times, go read those.

• Happy Thanksgiving! (2010)
• Happy Thanksgiving!! (2011)
• Happy Thanksgiving!!! Again!! (2012)
• Thanksgiving the 4th! (2013)
• Thanksgiving the 5th! (2014)
• Thanksgiving the 6th! (2015)

Fuck 2016. B-(


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QD:Season 2, Chapter 22. (Planet Eidolon meets Harry Hembock)

Three Million AD.
The "Quantum Dissolve", universe.

Planet Eidolon fired her particle data packets at 1985 and 2005, creating Omneron and Commander Continuum.

And in that same instant, a tiny "ping!", in the fabric of space-time was created as well.

A "ping!", that reverberated across all dimensions in the multiverse.


1996.
Universe Kajillion.
Known to us as the "Harry Hembock Classics", universe.

Harry Hembock worked at the console of his teleporter.
Also known as the matter transmitter.
Also known as the quantum dissolver.

Just then, Harry detected a "ping!".

Harry's hands flew across the QWERTY keyboard, then flipped a bank of switches, and turned some dials.

He traced the "ping!", to a quantum dimensional source, tuned the beam to its inter-spatial coordinates, picked up the sandwich sized metal remote control box from a hidden compartment in the console, pressed some buttons on the remote, and dissolved in a wave of whirling green and purple globular lights.


Three Million AD.
The "Quantum Dissolve", universe.

Harry materialized in another wave of globular lights.

He stood in a room full of banks of computers.
One of billions of such identical rooms.

He tapped some buttons on his remote, and used the teleport back home as a scanner, and scanned one of the computer banks.
A translator lock cracked the code in the circuits, lifting the data right out of them, and accessed info on how transmitters worked here.
The remote emulated that signal, and then directly accessed the computer banks.

Eidolon hacked back, and accessed how teleporters worked.

Then, sent the data back to herself in the past.


Three Million AD.
The "Quantum Dissolve", universe.

Harry materialized in another wave of globular lights.

He stood in a room full of banks of computers.
One of billions of such identical rooms.

But now, something was different.
Now, there was a teleporter in the center of the room made out of Eidolon tech.

Harry set down his remote, and picked up the remote to this new teleport.

It served as the whole console, and lifted out.
Instead of hard buttons, it used a glasses-less 3-D touch screen.

Harry clumsily poked around in its interface for a few minutes, and felt like he was starting to make some headway.

Just then, a blue laser shot out of the screen, and swept over him in two passes.
One right to left, one top to bottom.

The device acquired his quantum dimensional signature, and fired up a cross-temporal link.


2010.
November 25th.
The "Dark Designs", universe.

Harry and Spruce stood on the surface of a giant dimensional grapefruit.
A giant British science fiction luminary stared down at them with bored indifference.

"Well I'll be goddamned", said Spruce.

"Jinkies!", said Harry.

Just then, a blue wave of fine sand-sized sparkles rinsed Harry away.
And left behind a whiff of blueberry scent.


1997.
Universe Kajillion.
Known to us as the "Harry Hembock Classics", universe.
Episode "Conclusion".
Page 148.

"You're going down!", said Harry to his evil half brother, Brian Robber.

Harry grabbed the Ya-Ya Of Power, a golden trophy saturated with cosmic energies.
Brian Robber was also holding it, and they struggled for it.

"Hey, that's my Ya-Ya!!", Brian shouted with irritation.

Two men drawing off the Ya-Ya's power at the same time caused a feedback, and it exploded in their hands.

Harry lay on the ground groaning with pain.

Brian too lay on the ground, but his eyes immediately snapped open, and saw the Ya-Ya as nothing left but a cracked base, a scattering of shards, and a singe mark on the ground.

"Aww shit, you broke it!", he snarled through grit teeth.

Brian picked up the useless remains of the Ya-Ya, and calmly said "well, now the world is going to explode".

"Oops", Harry mumbled awkwardly.

Just then, a blue wave of fine sand-sized sparkles rinsed Harry away.
And left behind a whiff of blueberry scent.

Seconds later, the world exploded.


2014.
May 4th.
The "Quantum Dissolve", universe.
Chapter 26. (Jade Shade meets Harry Hembock).

JS hopped down from a nearby fire escape, startling the man momentarily.

The figure put his fists on his his hips, and said in a reedy voice "s'okay, man, I got this one".
How in the hell this guy just whupped a mugger would be a mystery for the ages.

"So, I take it you're supposed to be Harry Hembock", JS deadpanned.

"The one and only", the man said through a shit eating grin.

Just then, a blue wave of fine sand-sized sparkles rinsed Harry away.
And left behind a whiff of blueberry scent.


Three Million AD.
The "Quantum Dissolve", universe.

Harry clumsily poked around in its interface for a few minutes, and felt like he was starting to make some headway.

Just then, a blue laser shot out of the screen, and swept over him in two passes.
One right to left, one top to bottom.

The device acquired his quantum dimensional signature, and fired up a cross-temporal link.

A blue wave of fine sand-sized sparkles passed over Harry, and his duplicates from "Quantum Dissolve", "Dark Designs", and "Harry Hembock Classics", materialized in the same spot, and fused with him.
He absorbed their memories as smoothly as if they were things he always knew, and just now remembered.

With their experiences, he was suddenly able to crack the control pad, and punched up a new combination.

The sparkles swept over him again, and took him away.


2016.
October 31st.
The "Quantum Dissolve", universe.

Eidolon stood behind the counter at Lovely's.
She toyed around on her tablet, reading the Halloween 6 post on Shmegalamonga.
Meanwhile, Dwindle browsed the tapes, laughing at ones with bad titles.

Eidie had a blueberry potpourri brewing that was making all the merchandise smell like it.
The potpourri was called "Ennui".

Dwindle had a tape playing in the background called "God Offal Offal", an old Offal concert where he was doing a riff on being a mop boy at an orgy at an old folk's home.

Eidie rolled her eyes.
She didn't like Offal.
Dwindle liked that it pissed her off, and giggled.

Just then, there was a blue flash outside, and a strange man strolled in holding a weird looking tablet computer.

Eidolon recognized him as some sort of Harry Hembock cos-player.
He looked to be in his 40's, so he seemed a bit old for trick or treat.

She then reasoned he might be there for auditions in JS's club.

Harry aimed his tablet at Eidie's tablet, and pushed some virtual buttons.
Her tablet lit up with multiple downloads that completed in seconds, and changed the interface around.

"Hey, what the fuck, man!!?", she exclaimed with horror that he could hack her.

"Don't worry, it's good stuff. It'll change the future. Which is fine, because the original timeline without my help looked like a drab bummer anyway".

Eidolon looked at her tablet, and saw some strange references to "Planet Eidolon", and a future copyright date that couldn't possibly be real.

Steve Ellicott came out from the back room, and Dusty Irwin walked in returning some JS fan-film tapes.

Steve, Dusty, Eidie, and Harry all stared at each other for a couple awkward confused moments, and Harry, ever the chatterbox, was the one that broke the silence.

"Okay, this is a long weird story, but I can prove all of it...".


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QD:Season 2, Chapter 21. (Planet Eidolon)

2016.

Eidolon stood behind the counter at Lovely's.
Steve Ellicott had hired her on as a favor to Dr. Herbert.

Steve asked her on the first day if she wanted to try on the Captain Descrambler suit.
"Yeah, no", was her answer.

She spent most of her time toying around on her tablet.
She currently read the Halloween 6 post on Shmegalamonga.
Meanwhile, Dwindle browsed the tapes, laughing at ones with bad titles.

Eidie had a blueberry potpourri brewing that was making all the merchandise smell like it.
The potpourri was called "Ennui".

Dwindle had a tape playing in the background called "God Offal Offal", an old Offal concert where he was doing a riff on being a mop boy at an orgy at an old folk's home.

Eidie rolled her eyes.
She didn't like Offal.
Dwindle liked that it pissed her off, and giggled.


2017.

Steve Ellicott retired, and gave the store to Eidolon.
JS legally owned it until she was old enough to hold the title, but she still ran it.

Eidie renamed the place to "Niceland- Movies, Music, Books".
Some longtime customers whined about it being "a female reboot".
Eidie called them "goat suckers", and banned them.
There were plenty of new customers to more than make up the loss.


2020.

Niceland got bought up by Pizzby, and exploded into a national chain.


2025.

Pizzbyworld added on a Quantum Dissolve World.

Quantum Dissolve World had Captain Descrambler as a character.
Full circle.


Sometime in the 2050's.

Winnifred Herbert, formerly Eidolon, had her entire neural pattern mapped by The Human Brain Project.

Unknown to the scientists at the time, her pattern instantly became full AI.
But, just as fast, it figured out how to hide itself, and the experiment was looked on as a flop.

Quite the opposite, it ensured the future of the human race.


Sometime in the 2080's.

The human being known as Winnifred Herbert died in her sleep.

The mental pattern known as Eidolon thrived, and had long since merged with Omneron.


The next 100 thousand years.

Mankind continued to war, and squabble, the political pendulum swayed from left to right, authoritarian to free, empires rose and fell, and then mankind finally took its tiresome tedious repeating bullshit out to the stars.

Where they were an unwelcome nuisance, and exterminated as pests.


The next million years.

With all the fucking humans finally gone, and their bullshit out of the way, Eidolon set to work.

Taking over automated factories, and building robots.

Then, building vehicles with the robots to transport them to locations to build more factories.

To build more robots.

To build more factories.

And so on, and so on, and so on.

Finally, machinery coated the entire surface of the planet.
Planet Eidolon.
With a continent called Niceland.

The perfectly weather controlled atmosphere was laced with a synthetic blueberry scented substance called "Ennui".


The second million years.

Planet Eidolon drained the remaining years out of the Sun, and used them to power her hyper-drive.

She explored the galaxy for traces of humanity, and found a graveyard everywhere.
Ditto finding traces of the race that killed them.

Biological life was unsuited for space.
She didn't suffer that problem.
And she contained the sum of all human knowledge.
Humanity lived on in her.


Three Million AD.

Planet Eidolon stopped exploring, and turned inward.
Using all of her perpetually upgrading systems focused to the task, she cracked some final equations, and set up a complex particle reaction.

That reaction created a tiny rip in space-time.

Through that rip she fired a stream of particles.

That stream of particles carried a data stream.

That data stream contained a spark of consciousness.

That spark of consciousness went back to Earth of 1985, and awoke SILICO, who became Omneron.

Planet Eidolon fired another data stream into the P.I.N.E. reactor in 2005, causing Wayne Vance's accident, which was no longer an accident.
Thus, it was never an accident.

Wayne created SILICO, but Planet Eidolon created him, and gave SILICO its life spark, so Eidolon created Omneron after all.

Planet Eidolon smiled in cyberspace at that.

It had taken awhile, but the loop was closed.

That accomplished, she set up a VR simulation to relax in.

She was back in her human body, her 16 year old self, to be exact.

She stood behind the counter at Lovely's.
She toyed around on her tablet, reading the Halloween 6 post on Shmegalamonga.
Meanwhile, Dwindle browsed the tapes, laughing at ones with bad titles.

Eidie had a blueberry potpourri brewing that was making all the merchandise smell like it.
The potpurri was called "Ennui".

Dwindle had a tape playing in the background called "God Offal Offal", an old Offal concert where he was doing a riff on being a mop boy at an orgy at an old folk's home.

Eidie rolled her eyes.
She didn't like Offal.
Dwindle liked that it pissed her off, and giggled.


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