Saturday, December 26, 2015

Big Winter Movies (Part 3.5).

And it' guessed it..."Alvin And The Chipmunks: The Road Chip"!!

Haha! As if.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)

Quickie summation, I still love it.

Mostly have to recount my experience this time out.

  • I hit a big-ass line as soon as I got into the building, but the line moved quickly at least.
  • Went to the noon showing at 11:13, and the place still had a bunch of people.
  • Got the captain's seat, bitches!!! B-)
  • Place filled up tight though. 
  • Listen, if you make it to a film like this at the last fucking minute, you aren't going to get good seats. Get that dumb sad look off your dumb face. You fucking knew you fucked up. 
  • If you get to a movie like this at the last minute, don't fiddle-fuck around further with snacks.
  • If you're bringing a herd of brats, squeeze the piss out of them before you go. Wring them like washcloths. And don't buy them a fucking drink.
  • If you bought a candy that comes in an indestructible wrapper, open it before the movie, or fuck you, you can't have it. 
  • Cover your mouth when you cough, you fucking pig.
  • This isn't your living room.
  • If you can't follow the story of a movie, too bad, you miss out, kiss your money goodbye, sucks to be you.
  • Really? You're gonna suck your water bottle so it makes the crinkle sound? Really, fuckface?
  • Back to the bladder thing. All you little idiots who had to piss, your life is ruined. You're gonna be forty-something kicking yourself that you missed cinema history. Sucks to be you. Haa-haaa!!
  • Clearly my crowd from the first time was better.
  • Getting out of there was a nightmare.
  • Getting to Bullmoose was a nightmare.
  • Getting out of Bullmoose was a nightmare.
  • Day after Christmas was a bad time to go anywhere.
  • All of the bullshit above? Worth it. SO fucking worth it.

Totally gonna go a third time when the little brats are back in school.

Up next, see above.


Bee Dee said...

When the woods lightsaber battle happened and Rey's lightsaber got stuck in the snow and she tried to use the force, were you under the impression that the camera was going to pan around 180 and we'd see Luke Skywalker standing there? Were you disappointed that it wasn't the case, or would that have been lame?

Also was there a Hidden Mickey anywhere? Didn't see one. I forgot to look anyway.

Diacanu said...

Disappointed? Um, nope. That was a popular theory going around that Luke would be in the forest fight, but I always thought he'd only be in the last few minutes, and never draw his saber.
I at least thought he'd have some lines though.

I didn't even think of who the saber was going to go to, I was just letting the movie take me where it wanted to go.

B. Dee said...

There was an IMDb poll asking what you think Luke says to Rey, hypothetically, after the end. I answered "weesa free!"

RIP Lemmy from Motorhead! That sucks almost as much as Dio, I was figuring one of those two dudes would live to be the world's first 80 year old Metal frontman.

Diacanu said...

Lemmy is supposed to play the president in "Return To Nuke E'm High Part 2".
All his footage was shot back when they did part 1, so he's got one more thing coming out to remember him by.

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