Kiss my ass under Filene's bay window.

No, I'm not going to click your Google banners.

I'm not going to be roped into your creepy fucking cult.

I'm not going to get in on your fucking pyramid scheme.

I'm not going to be talked into your fucking desert religion.

On the fucking internet, I'm not going to "sign up for", anything, if it has a password, goodbye.
If it has a price, goodbye.

I'm not going to buy ANYTHING you're shoveling over the fucking phone.
I honestly don't care if it's genuine immortality potion.
Fuck off.

The person of the household you're calling who isn't me isn't available, but they don't want to talk to you either, don't fucking call back.
Ever.

You can take your e-mail spam offers, and shove every last one up your greasy lizard asses.

Fuck the whole lot of you, leave me the fuck alone with your stupid fucking bullshit.

You all fucking suck, you make life suck, and you can kiss my ass under Filene's bay window.