Friday, May 18, 2012

The 20th Century On Film.


So, I'm watching all the bonuses on "American Psycho", and they're saying this-and-that about how it represents the 80's, and...yeah, I'll go for that.

But then, it got me to thinking, well, what other flicks represent other decades?
Could one do the whole century this way?

Mm'yeah, ya can...

I had to struggle a little once I got out of my lifetime, and had to give my film-history memory a nudge with Wikipedia, and, had to put some creative thought into a couple tie-breakers, but...it came together in about half an hour or so.

So, here's that.
Professor Dickynoo's history class....


1900's

There Will Be Blood.


Yep, shitty, thuggy, little oil barons, it would set the tone for the rest of the crummy century.


1910's

All Quiet On The Western Front.


World War fuckin' One.

One can safely argue World War fuckin' Two had to be fought,....but this one didn't, who gave a shit about a fucking archduke?
And, the residue of this one led to World War fuckin' Two.

Millions of people dead, because a douchebag in a coffee house with syphilis had to shoot a guy.

Fuck, it's like having World War fuckin' Three over the whole "impress Jody Foster", deal.
Yes, take it in, be bowled over by the horror.

Anyway, this had the balls to show war as shitty, and...yeah,of course it was one of the first books on the list that the Nazis burned.

Can't be saying war is stupid, and shitty, and whup up the patriotism in the proles, now can we?
No, we can't.
Burn that shit.
*Eyeroll*


1920's

The Untouchables.


Yep, prohibition.

You make human frailty illegal, you create criminals, and create a fuckin' mafia.
Then, you need the g-men to bust the fuckin' mafia.

This goofy fuckin' country learned absolutely nothing from this.
Ah, well, ya gotta laugh, or you'll cry....


1930's

The Grapes Of Wrath


Ah, the dust bowl, and the depression.
The good old days, when bankers jumped off window ledges, and splatted on the sidewalk.
Now, they smugly make toasts at ya.

Well...hey comic books got invented, so, that was something.


1940's

The Diary Of Anne Frank



Nothing historically indicts every shitty rotten breed of authoritarian assbag-ism like Nazis, and nothing indicts Nazis like this fucking book/movie.

Yeah, "Judgement at Nuremberg", is a great flick too, and lets us pat ourselves on the back and all,  but...this has a bit more bite.
To literally point the finger at humanity from the grave, man, that dips the whips in vinegar.

And...I don't want the decade represented by a flick where you see those racist nationalist fuckwads clomping around in their little booties.
They don't even deserve to be recorded.
Fuck 'em.
Nope, the effect they had on innocents is their legacy.
Eat it, Nazis.
Forever, and no matter what you try to re-brand yourselves as.


1950's

Invasion Of The Body Snatchers


Yeah, a sci-fi for the 50's.
I found it fitting.

The 50's were all about b-movies, and saucer-men, and....fuckin' McCarthyism, and conformity, and censorship, and "duck and cover".

And, this flick nailed it as it was happening.

Fuck "Grease".
Fuck "Grease", with a red rubber dick.

That's white people Americana, it's a distorted fucking lens, it's pablum, it's treacle, and after "Romeo And Juliet", it's the fucking play that's made more high school drama classes miserable than can be fucking counted.

Nope, sorry, 50's, you're "Invasion Of The Body Snatchers", and that's that.

Diacanu has spoken.
Long live Diacanu.


1960's

Dr. Strangelove. 
(or, how I learned to stop worrying, and love the bomb)


Similar to "..body snatchers".

Fuck the hippies, fuck Woodstock, they fuckin' failed, we still have this rotten fucking culture war, so, all that hippie shit, it's amusing to watch, but as far as history cares, in the big fucking picture, it was a bug on the windshield.

Sorry, boomers.

Nope, it was about The Red Menace, and nuclear prick-waving.
That dictated everything, including Vietnam, which dictated the hippie push-back.

And this is the definitive nuclear prick-waving movie.
Everyone else rips it off.

Fuck "Hair", fuck "Platoon", fuck Oliver Stone's "Nixon", fuck 'em all.

Hell, while I'm at it, fuck all 'Nam movies that aren't "Full Metal Jacket".
There, that's finally said.


1970's

Boogie Nights


70's the movie.
Dead stop, period, the end.

I thought of this one second after "American Psycho".
Third, the one for the 00's coming up.
They flew right to my mind almost instantly, and that's when I knew I had some blog fodder.

Anyway, fuck "Saturday Night Fever", fuck "54", and fuck "The Deer Hunter", for not being "Full Metal Jacket".


1980's

American Psycho


Well, gave this one away at the beginning...

See here.

But yeah, it embodies the 80's.
The yuppies, the media fascination with serial killers, porn coming to home video in everyone's homes, this rolled it all into one ball.

It's the "Boogie Nights", of the 80's.
In the 00's, but, whatever.

And, kind of makes a sad sequel to "The Grapes Of Wrath", because we didn't learn anything, and, it makes a really dreary prequel to the 2010's, because...we didn't fucking learn anything.


1990's

Office Space


Oh, man, I actually fucking lived this shit.

Have not been in much of a hurry to go back to it.

*Shiver*

But yeah, this was the 90's.
Fuck "Reality Bites", or any twattery like that.

The dehumanized corporate workplace, it started here in earnest, and I hope people 100 years hence will be recoiling in horror, and saying "what the fuck were they DOING?!?!".

I almost did Charlie Chaplin's "Modern Times", for the 30's, but....this flick shows how that vision came all too true, and it wasn't necessary.


2000's

Team America: World Police


Yeah, okay, we're actually into the 21st century here, but...fuck it.
I started with 00's, let's bring it full circle.
*Shrug*

See here.

Yeah, this totally was the Bush/9-11 era, lock, stock, and barrel.
And, it's another one that nailed it as it was happening.

Stupidest fuckin' decade yet.
We had such high hopes when the ball dropped on the millennium, how fucking depressing.

Eh, while we're this close anyway, may as well do...


2010's

Um...hard to say, we're only a couple years in....and who knows? Maybe another 9/11, or Katrina will happen do define it in some stark way....

But..."Team America", had the 00's nailed pretty early on....it can happen...

So...barring some unforeseen bit of history...how about....

The Social Network


Yeah, why not?
Facebook and Twitter were crucial to "The Arab Spring", so...even with big history going on...this stuff will be as much a player as fucking automobiles were to the 20th.

I think it's a good one to bet on.

We'll see in 8 more years...I think I'll prove to be a prophet.


Aaand, that's that.

And, that mostly covers the decades prequel I wanted to do for "Krazy For Decades".
I got some leftover stuff for that, but, some other time.

And...that's it for reviews for awhile, I think.
I got this other thing I'm gonna work on....


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