Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Happy 14th anniversary, Star Trek: Hippies Suck.

Happy that this is 14 years in our rear-view mirror.

Trek reviews again.

New review...

In that entry, I complained this one is like a really bland filler TNG episode.
No, it's worse than that.
It attacks everything Trek is supposed to be about, and for no good reason.
Even "Nemesis", doesn't manage that.

First of all, it makes Picard a hypocrite, this exact fucking scenario happened with the Maquis, and he kicked the squatter hippies out.

The Maquis were the whole setup to fucking Voyager, you'd think Berman and Braga would have fucking remembered.
But, we already knew they were dipshits, and assholes.

And, with the Maquis, the Fountain Of Youth wasn't even at stake, they were kicked out just to appease shitty fucking Cardassians.
And Starfleet went to war with them anyway.
And the Cardassian/Dominion alliance wound up exterminating the Maquis anyway.

AND, the Maquis on Voyager just up and forgot they were Maquis anyway, and got absorbed into the Voyager crew, and were largely forgotten about.

So, Picard's by-the-book-assholism in that was all for nothing.

At least here, he'd be saving billions of lives.
Why does he give that up?
He's got a boner for that one hippie chick.

So, not only is Picard a hypocrite, he's just a flat out asshole.

The Luddite hippies are assholes too.
What the fuck is their deal?
The "bad guys", turn out to be their rebellious kids.
So, these guys are dying off horribly, because they got kicked out of their little "paradise".

So, these asshole squatters find this planet, discover it's a fountain of youth, decide to reject technology,....but only electronic technology, and space travel, even though that's what fucking got them there, but, they're fine with using pre-industrial technology, so, they're hypocrites, and, one assumes their rebel kids, like rebel Amish kids, called them out on their hypocrisy...and the sentence was effectively DEATH.
Yeah, some "paradise".

And....the whole idea of abandoning space for this little hippie village from Hell is antithetical to the whole Star Trek message.
Star Trek is (partly) about progress, but here, we have this weird commie-boomer exalting of "simplicity".
Fuck off with that.

Classic Trek had Luddite hippies too. It was "The Way To Eden", and Kirk was like "I can sort of sympathize, but....fuck y'all, we've got a mission".

Now, try to imagine Kirk joining those assholes, and fighting alongside them against Starfleet.
Or, imagine him joining fuckin' Sybok.
That's what you've got with this piece of shit.

And back to that shitty commie Smurf village.
This is always Hollywood's dipshit idea of utopia.
It's bullshit.
Where's the clear-cutting for their fire wood?
Where's the strip mine where they're getting their metals for the forge?
That shitty little vegetable garden isn't going to feed 400 people, where's the giant fields of crops?

Nope, everything's pristine, and looks like a dressed up backlot.

All of this, could possibly be excused, if they questioned the Trek ethos and opened it up for examination, in an intelligent way.
But, this was fuckin' schlock.

So, there wasn't even a payout for making the characters look stupid, Starfleet hypocrites, and Picard...a criminal of the whole human race.

And all of it, done boringly.
It's offensive, and it's bland.
I'm offended that I wasn't properly angry, like I should have been, but it's just so DULL.

The TNG flicks play like Berman flat out hated Trek, and hated us Trekkies for liking it.

"Generations", it's like "you like Kirk? Well, Ha! We killed Kirk! And in the most boring fucking way!".

"First Contact", it's like "you like Gene? Well, ha! See drunken Cochrane? That's Gene! Fuck Gene!  Yeah!".

But, that didn't work, cuz, we knew he wasn't perfect.
Nice try.

Then, with "Insurrection", it's like "oh, you like Starfleet!? Well, ha! They're all assholes now, and the only way to be the good guys is to go be Amish! Yeah! Suck it!".

And finally, with "Nemesis", it's like "oh, you like 'Wrath Of Khan'? Well, HA! We're ripping it off, and making it suck, and we're killing your precious Data! And this new sucky retarded twin brother with his memories? It's not really him, so that means clone-Spock isn't Spock! So we raped everything after 'Wrath Of Khan' too!  Fuck you! Fuck yooouu!! Diiie Star Trek, diiieee!!".

Or, to boil it down, Gene was a drunk, his vision sucked, his characters sucked, we hate our jobs, we hate you, but give us your money.

...and they're oblivious to how they lost the reins of this franchise.

So, m'yeah, fuck you, Rick and Brannon.

Us geeks got enough self-loathing contempt from Uncle George.

14 years without this movie?
Pass the party horn, and the confetti.


Diacanu said...

And I didn't even get into that, if they kick off the fucking squatters,and harness the youth-radiation...then EVERYONE gets it, including the shitty fucking hippies.

The hippies just lose their stupid stone wheels, and shit.

And, the prime directive doesn't apply to these assholes, they're not a primitive culture, they know how to fix Data fer chrissakes.

Man, I hate this movie.

Thursday, I'll do Nemesis.

Diacanu said...

Oh, and Kirk put up with glassy-eyed sanctimonious agrarians with a fountain of youth of sorts in "this side of paradise".

He determined their society was stagnant, and brought their little world down around their ears.

Did I mention I hate this movie?

Blog Archive