A Blue State Christmas.

Timmy Anderson ran down the stairs in the middle of the night to empty his bladder.

When he got there, the toilet was duct taped closed.
Sitting on the toilet tank was a note in his father's hand wich said "we can't afford toilet anymore. Pee in the trash".


Timmy's blood ran cold.
He instantly understood what was happening to his family.

His friend Bobby's dad had made him pee in the trash, and 2 weeks later, they moved away and were never seen again.

Timmy squirmed and tried in vain to hold it in, as if avoiding this fateful piss could forestall the inevitable.
Reading the note had ivariably made the pressure more urgent, as if it had been an evil spell he'd passed his eyes across.
His head darted around desperately for other places to go.
He considered the tub, or the bathroom sink, but Timmy knew they'd know.
Somehow, they'd know.

Finally, his weak child's bladder could no longer be denied.

Timmy ran to the kitchen, and unzipped his footy pajamas from neck to groin, and aimed into the trash as best as he could into the most absorbant bits of paper there were.

Even until the last second, he tried to fight it back, but a tidal wave of nature pushed up against him, and wouldn't be denied.

Timmy screamed and bawled as the urine hissed against the plastic of the Hefty bag.
A part of him died inside then.

Timmy's parents were awoken by the wailing, and from the location of the screams, they instantly understood.

They avoided each other's gaze in shame.

"What do you think this teaches him!?", Agnes Anderson hissed at her husband.

"And what SHOULD I be teaching him?", Travis Anderson hissed back.
"To hope? To stand up for himself?
Fat lot of good that's gonna do!
We can't beat the Republicans, we're just people!".

Agnes's voice choked with tears of despair "I..I know, but he shouldn't have to find out this way".

Travis choked up then, and he reached out and held his wife, and they both silently bawled into each other's shoulders.
Bawled like children.

As their own child experienced life's first lesson in dark hopeless defeat.

The first of many.
For the note in the trash that Timmy had pissed on said "Santa's dead".

Just then, the Earth shook.
Shook with with the rumble of a cosmicly huge SUV, and the footfalls of giants.

The Hendersons next door were back from Burger King.
And they were Republicans.

A deep cruel laugh shook the night sky like the rumble of thunder.
The cruel laugh of mocking innocence that can only come from giant Republican children who are going to get what they want for Christmas.

Travis and Agnes held each other closer, and wept even harder then.

As if on cue, a huge ruffling noise brushed against the roof as if a paratrooper had landed.

Another Burger King wrapper.

Damned that Jimmy.
Damn the Hendersons.
Damn their Christmas, and damn their piss-free garbage.

Damn them to Hell.