"Man Of Steel 2", news.

It's World's Finest.

(Superman & Batman to you non-comic readers).

You may now jump up and down and shriek.


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Flicks I've watched (Part 13)

See here for part 12.

Ope! Forgot a couple!
Knew I would.

So, this is also "Worst Of The Worst", part 3.
(1, 1.5, 2)


Straw Dogs (1971)

Overrated fucking garbage.

(Had to dig around in my Facebook archives to remember when this was)
Watched this back in June 11th, which would have been between the reviews for "Message From Space", and the ones for "Starcrash", and "Battle Beyond The Stars", and it was kind of lumped into that viewing batch.

It didn't go with those, so I was going to give it its own separate thing, but I really didn't want to go in depth with it, and then I just sort of forgot about it.
But, now that I'm back on course with stuff that was controversial and shocking to people, this popped back into my memory.

Okay, so the controversy with this, is there's a rape, and the victim has a complex gamut of emotions, including forcing herself to enjoy it, and...*shrug* all right.
*Shrug*
What else you got?
Yes, rape can be complicated.
Adults need to have this explained?
I guess they did in '71.
Intellectuals should have known better.
Nope, they were prudes too.
Fuck them for being weaklings.

But, really, this is pretentious, and boring as shit, and Hoffman's character is a pussy, and never really stops being a pussy.
There's no one likable in this.
No one.
Pussies and assholes all.
And it has the pacing of watching paint dry.

Biggest part of why I forgot to review this was my bitter un-enthusiasm.
I want those fucking 2 hours back.

I'm offended when people are such pussies they're offended by boring crap like this.
I thought the 70's were hip, not another extension of fucking Victorian times.
America never fully lets go of that Victorian streak.
Pathetic.
Pa-THETIC.


Ilsa: She Wolf Of The SS (1975)

Haven't watched it, not going to.
Have seen an in-depth video review with clips, and it looks like pretentious boring schlock in the same foodgroup as "Salo".

The "Saw", of its day.
Bite my ass.

There, NOW I think that's everything.
The famous ones, anyway.
No doubt there's hundreds of underground ones.

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Flicks I've watched (Part 12)

See here for part 11.

This one doubles as "The Worst Of The Worst", part 2.
The update counts as part 1.5.


Dead Hooker In A Trunk (2009)

Okay, this isn't one of the "worst of the worst", flicks, I dug this one up, because it's the only other one by the Soska Sisters who did "American Mary", so I was just curious.

Um...yeah, not so great.
Really, Eli Roth?
"Fucking Awesome"?
Nuh uh.
You'se lyin'.

I mean, it was watchable, it held my interest, it had good parts, but it had a bunch of stupid stuff, and bad acting too.
Lotta bad acting.
See that third girl who isn't a Soska Sister?
Hated her guts.
Jumpin' Jehosifat.
And she wouldn't go away, or get killed off.

The Soskas were probably the best, and they were basically just playing themselves.

Anyway, "American Mary", is a VAST improvement over this.
Shit, by their third flick, they'll really be hitting it out of the park.

Um...hard to describe the flick....it reeks of "student film", for sure.
Tonally, it's like....early "Clerks", Kevin Smith, and "The Adventures Of Pete & Pete",...with murders instead of jokes.
Yeah.
The gore effects are done well, I'll give it that.
And it's got some raunchy stuff that might make you smile.
Tell you what, I'd watch this over most anything you'll see in a fucking Redbox.

Okay, if it's stars, 3 out of 5, how's that?


Audition (1999)

Okay, so now we're into the ones with the famous reputations.

This is my least liked of the three I'm doing.
I would gladly watch "Dead Hooker In A Trunk", again over this.

Vastly overrated.
Hugely overrated.

It's a shame, the characters are good, performances are great, and even though the buildup is a solid 2 hours, you don't really feel it, it's all engaging stuff.
But...the stupid ending ruins it, and I don't mean the controversial gore.

Wrapped around the whole thing is this whole indulgent pretentious "what's real, and what's a dream?", horseshit straight out of the worst episodes of "Freddy's Nightmares", that doesn't go anywhere, slows things down, and just hurtled my rating of this thing down like a fucking roller-coaster.

And then the absolute ending-ending was a total deflating formula dud.

As for the violence?
Overrated.
Yet another one where your expectations are a helluva lot worse.
It's rough stuff, sure, but I can think of a whole bunch of flicks with worse (and more).
Probably ones you've all seen.
It's all fucking hype.

I wouldn't recommend it.
There are much better ones to see.
This one would just slow you down from getting to those.

The people who hyped this up need a slap.
Especially Rob Zombie in "The Top 100 Scariest Movie Moments".
Really, Rob?
With the movies you watch, and make?
This freaked you out?
You're a fucking pussy, Rob.
A pussy.


Old Boy (2005)

Oh, the raving, the raving, the RAVING over this one.
I was SO ready for it to suck.
You know me, I distrust critic bukkakke.

It's fucking great.
Best of these three hands down.

And...it's not really a violence movie.
It's fucking art.

I mean, it's got violence, and it's intense...but no moreso than say, "Sin City".
And, it's not ABOUT the violence.
Don't watch this if you're some fucking teenager looking for a dumb violence flick.

This beats the SHIT out of "Pulp Fiction", by the way.
Tarantino should have fucking quit after this.

They're remaking this with white people, and that's a damn shame.
Fucking Hollywood.
Fucking racism.
As if you can't just watch this one.
Ridiculous.

Anyway, fucking watch this.


Now...of the three....only "Audition", kind of deserves its reputation of hushed whispers, because, at least that's an actual horror.
But...no, it's all in the "misunderstood art", category this time.

But...that's it, I think I've finally seen 'em all.
The ones that are supposed to have the power to scramble your brain.
I'll probably think of some other one, but for now, I think I've cleared the list.
Feel free to recommend anything in comments.


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Adding to my collection (Part 11)

(See here for part 10)

Phew, ohhh, this miserable HEAT!
You should see my poor cats, they're melted.
So, anyhoo, boxed and bagged up a shitload of crappy old DVDs, and CDs, and VHSes I didn't want anymore, and took 'em up to Bullmoose for store credit.
It was 20 years of detritus, so it was a sizable pile, but given how nasty-neat and efficient I strive to be, it wasn't so bad.
Two small boxes, two small bags.

Got enough dough for three free flicks, so, here they are.


Batman The Movie (1966)

Bam!

See here for my rambling on that one.
So, this post also counts as the update to "Assessing My Collection".

DVD features are a documentary, and an Adam West and Burt Ward commentary.
Can't wait to dig into those.


Evil Dead (2013)

See here.

Man, that was a quick turnaround!
Thing just came out in fucking April!
And, I was right, the DVD art is better than the crappy poster.

Features are a couple documentaries, no commentary.
They're more and more forcing you to get the Blu-ray.
Sonsabitches.


American Mary (2013)

See here.

DVD features are a documentary, and a commentary by The Soska Sisters.

Damn, where were these awesome crazy bitches when I was young?
Everyone wanted to be their fucking humdrum parents.
It was disgusting.
I couldn't stand it.
...but I digress...

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Flicks I've watched (Part 11)

See here for part 10.

So, I heard about these round about the time I also got recommended to me Manborg, American Mary, and Stitches.

And well...I'll get into why I held off in the reviews.


The Collector (2009)

So, this totally just looked like tired rehashed torture-porn to me.
And they even pimp the thing as being written by the guys who wrote fucking Saw IV, V, and VI.

That's not a good recommendation.
It may as well say "if you loved 'Encino Man'....".

I steered clear.
It seemed the wise rational thing to do.

Well, after seeing a video review that allayed my worries, I checked it out.
I was pleasantly surprised.
And, that's really an understatement.

Like "Mother's Day", is the antidote to the entire "Friday The 13th", franchise, this is the antidote to everything wrong with the "Saw", franchise.

It addresses my every beef with the Saws.

1. Asshole protagonists. I hated everyone in the Saws from 2 onward. Hated their stupid rotten awful guts. You actually like the guy in "The Collector", and you get 25 minutes of character development with him before the bad shit starts happening. "Mother's Day", had this plus too.
2. Implausibly unstoppable villain whose conspiracy has no fucking periphery.  "The Collector", is smart, but he makes mistakes, and has flaws to exploit.
3. There are torture traps, but it's not pure sadism for its own sake. And the traps are foil-able.
4. The killer is there taking part, he dirties his hands, and the tables can be turned on him.
5. He turns YOUR home into the deathtrap. That's a scary twist I hadn't seen before.
6. Heehee, given 5, I imagined this is what Kevin from "Home Alone", grows up into.
7. The killer shuts the fuck up. After 7 fucking Saws with the jeering TV set, we really needed a fucking break with that.

So, yeah, I would recommend this.
It's a decent little horror film.
Good one for a Halloween marathon.
I especially recommend it, because it gets you to the sequel.

Waaatch eeet!!!!


The Collection (2012)

One of those ones like "Evil Dead 2", and "Hellbound", and "Dawn Of The Dead", and "Aliens", that surpasses the original.

In fact, tonal shift wise, this one relates to the first in the way that "Alien", relates to "Aliens".
It even has the core skeletal plot with a whole armed team dragging the survivor back to go after the monster.

It picks up right where the first one left off, and features a scene where the villain literally mows down (with a sort of thresher type blade) a whole techno dance club.
Well, they had me at "hello", there!
I've always wanted to see that!
How did they read my mind?
Did Horror-Claus forward my letter?

Oh, and survivor-girl is a cutie.
If there are sequels, I totally want her back.

So, yeah, these are both well worth your time, don't be fooled by the shitty publicity for this thing.
This duology deserves to be among the new classics.
They definitely go on my shopping list.

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The year without Twinkies.

Well, 9 months, anyway.
Enough time to grow a new human being fer chrissakes.

Here's a link to "Gorge-a-thon 8", where they died.

Anyway, they're back.

So, what's gone on?
Well, not much for the Twinkies.
People got on with their lives.
Which makes me think, a lot of things this culture thinks it can't do without could go away, and we'd be okay.
How about the NFL?
Let's get rid of them for 9 months, see how that goes.

What else?
Well, the obvious ramification of the Twinkie mess, is another union is dead.
The rich always get their way in the end.
No one batted an eye over that.
Everyone just rolls over, and takes it.
"Home of the brave", my ass.

How'd that 9 months go for the world?
Bunch of people died.
One of the Glee kids didn't make it.
DOMA got overturned.
Buncha movies came out.
Human Centipede 3 completed filming, and is in the editing phase.
I started a new project.
Harry turned 24.
Krazyfool's Den turned 14.
Harry book 1 turned 1.
Shmegalamonga turned 5.
As did Harry Dark Designs.

Yeah, just stuff.

Thought there'd be riots on the front end, and parades on the back end of this whole thing, frankly.
But, there ya go.
Planet kept turning just fine.

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Superheroes 2.4 Superman (Part 1 addendum)

Superman Unbound (2013)

So, tacking this between this and this.

This is the latest DC animated flick to come out post-Dark Knight Returns.
Finally got around to seeing it.

I liked it....but with reservations, like "Man Of Steel".

The pros.

• Animation is great.
• Great character meat between Lois and Supes, Supes and Supergirl, and Lois and Supergirl.
• The three lead good guys are pitch perfect in both in writing and performance, their scenes truly are a delight.

The cons.

• Brainiac is a cardboard mustache twirler. I mean, yeah, he's an emotionless cyborg, and yet...he's not...he's got hate, contempt...that's enough to give us some depth, let us see what he's about, instead of this stock comic-booky "Muahahahaaa! I'm so evil, let me show you how evil I am!", horseshit. They had meaty stuff for the good guys, why raise my expectations there to let me down with the bad guy?
• The violence and profanity was a bit high for an animated thing. It doesn't bother me personally, I'm a solid clump of anti-censorship sentiment, but...who are they marketing this to? The basic plot is stock comic book stuff, it's no DKR, you could have trimmed the gore, and been able to sell it to kids. If they want to scare off kids, then who is this for? Teen fanboys? Maybe. Adult fans like me? Well, then give me more adult stuff with the character development. They just took a standard Superman comic book plot, and threw Lois flipping double birds, Superman going "go to Hell", and a bunch of needless head-crushings in there. The tone confused me. 

The nitpicky.

• Took me awhile to get used to Lois's character design in this. Her face and hairdo looked harsh, she resembled Ursa (from Superman 2) more than Lois. But, maybe that's just me.
• I can't really dissect this too much without giving away spoilers, but the moral message to this was all over the place. It seemed to want to say something about too much control, and they mirrored the control Supes/Clark was having over his relationship with Lois, and the control Brainiac exerted over the planets he conquered, and the cities he bottled up....but, it was very inconsistent. Hey, if control is bad, and anathema to the evolution of life, you might wanna consider quitting the superhero business, Clark. 
• Maybe this is just me, but it felt like in the end that Brainiac was a strawman for introvert geeks (which further confuses me as to who the audience for this is). 
• This bit got under my skin from a character perspective, and, sorry, spoilers ahead, it seemed in the very-very end, Brainiac had some kind of mental illness. Like a super-duper-duper agoraphobia. He had the sensory overload thing that young Clark had in "Man Of Steel", but Brainiac lost the fight, and went nuts. If Brainiac is nuts, wouldn't/shouldn't Superman HELP him? If he's nuts, he can't help it. If you can fix him, he can be redeemed. Nope, Superman in this lets him fry, and gloats over him. Maybe Superman made the calculation that Brainiac to too dangerous to leave alive, but if so, let's see some fucking regret. It's fucking Superman, not Punisher. 
• It really is a shame they had that out of character moment there, because, as said in pros, all the characters were dead-on up until then.
• All of the above is what makes me suspect that it's a strawman for geeks. It's not Superman talking, it's the writer with his prejudices. 

So...overall...I dunno how to rate it.

It's certainly MILES better than "Superman: Brainiac Attacks".
Stayed with me better than "Superman vs. The Elite".
Not quite as good as "All-Star Superman".
The good character meat scenes are actually better than "Man Of Steel", IMHO.
But yeah, the ending, and moral, and drab villain drag it down pretty hard.

Good rental, wouldn't buy it.
Your mileage may vary.

Up next for DC animated, "The Flashpoint Paradox".
That's gonna be a Justice League thing, and have Kevin Conroy.
If that can reach the standard of "Crisis On Two Earths", and "Doom", I'll be a happy camper.

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