All right, so, that's Witchblade chunk, Image chunk, DC chunk, and Marvel chunk, now, here comes...
Independent chunk.
So, we left off at Avengers/Transformers....
G.I. Joe meet Transformers.
A shitload of times.
In 1986 (by Marvel).
In 2003 (once by Image, once by Dreamwave).
In 2004 (once by Dreamwave, once by Devil's Due).
In 2006 (by Devil's Due).
In 2007 (by Devil's Due).
And, Cobra Commander was in a post-Movie episode of Transformers.
Infestation/ Infestation 2.
See here and here.
So, via zombies, and Cthulhu, this crosses Transformers with G.I. Joe, Star Trek, Ghostbusters, Ninja Turtles, Dungeons and Dragons, 30 Days of Night, and Danger Girl.
The first one was awful, and since they got away with being awful via people buying the thing, I can't expect 2 to be much better...I've peeked at previews, and my hunch was right.
BUT, I'll certainly use the Bacon points!
Oh, and Star Trek, they've bumped into X-Men, and Legion of Superheroes.
That one ended up being half decent, btw.
And Danger Girl...
...met Batman....
...and Ash.
And Ash, besides finally putting Freddy and Jason in their coffins, also bumped into...
...Herbert West, H.P. Lovecraft, and Cthulhu (see here)...
...and Darkman...
...and Xena (twice), for a Raimi triumvirate.
All that's missing, is a M.A.N.T.I.S. crossover...
Ash also met the classic monsters (see here, and also see Monster War).
And along the way, a character was introduced (see the pic), Eva, the daughter of Dracula.
Sort of a female Simon Belmont.
I liked her, and had a hunch she might get her own book.
My hunch was right.
Bam.
And once she had her own book in place to stand on, her crossover adventures could begin...
Eva met The Darkness...which vicariously crosses her over with...fuckin' everybody.
Eva met Hack/Slash.
Which is a team of a cute goth chick (Cassie Hack), and a Jason wannabe (Vlad) who serial-kill serial killers, and the whole thing is a loving tribute to the conventions of horror flicks, like Behind The Mask.
..why isn't this known to me, and my favorite fucking comic ever?
I gotta bust my ass on that.
Anyway, we're well into the indies now...
Hack/Slash vs. Chucky.
Ahah!
Ash fought Freddy/Jason, Jason fought Leatherface, Pinhead Baconed in, and there's Chucky.
Michael Myers, and Phantasm left to go.
Hack/Slash meet The Living Corpse.
Hack/Slash meet Evil Ernie.
..who begat Lady Death.
Hack/Slash vs. Bomb Queen.
...who is a supervillain who conquered a city, and now fights to keep heroes and the government out.
..and she's a hyperactive goofball, a casual murderer, and an incredible whore.
The book shows nudity, cussing, everything.
Yeah, I peeked at scenes.
Forget any semblance of the old "comics code", days, they iz goooone-uh.
I would have loved this book in my teens.
Hack/Slash meets Suicide Girls.
They took my favorite goth/emo-girl porn site from the 00's, and made it a comic.
...what can I say, I'm a man of diverse tastes...
But, hey, now my porno girls are woven into the multiverse!
Wheee!
Hack/Slash meets Zombies vs. Cheerleaders.
Well, with a title like that, how can that not be the most popular comic ever?
*Sigh* I just don't think of things like this...
Hack/Slash vs. Hatchet.
..a horror flick starring Kane Hodder (Jason) which very closely apes the 80's style, and has a lot of positive buzz from the fango crowd.
I'll have to see it someday.
War Of The Independents.
Ho boy....
All right, magnify the picture in another tab/window, and follow along...
Very back row, in between the ant chick, and the red devil chick, there's Cassie and Vlad from Hack/Slash.
Front row, that's Bomb Queen, and her hands are on Bone, and Cerebus.
Next to Cerebus is Maxx, next to him is Milk & Cheese.
Next to Maxx, and behind Cerebus, is Badger.
Next to him, in the center, behind Bomb Queen, is Captain Canuck.
Behind him on his left is Zen (the intergalactic ninja), and behind him on his right is The Pro (a super hooker).
Next to Pro/Canuck, behind Bone, is Faust.
Next to Faust/Bone is...I have no idea, I looked everywhere for her..next to her, is Gumby and Pokey.
Okay, now, Gumby and Pokey actually starred in two of the coolest comics ever.
Gumby's Summer Fun Special, and Gumby's Winter Fun Special.
The latter of which, I have, and it kicks ass.
See, they face up against realistically drawn monsters, and the content is actually a very heavy PG.
In "Winter Fun..", they actually rescue Santa (who turns out to be a surly longshoreman) from Hell.
Then, they battle giant Japanese horror monsters with a Gumby robot.
They basically took a badass indie comic, and plopped Gumby and Pokey into it.
And...with the brave plucky adventurism of their characters, they actually fit in.
The art is spectacular.
So, yeah, it's this version of Gumby & Pokey in this thing.
Aaanyway...behind Gumby/Pokey is Tityus (from "Penance"), right behind him is Shi.
At Tityus's shoulder, and next to Shi, is Reid Fleming (the angry milkman).
Next to Shi/Tityus is Tick.
Behind Tick is Madman.
Next to Madman, and directly behind Captain Canuck, is Mr. Monster.
Next to Mister Monster, and behind Zen, is Scud the disposable assassin.
Next to Scud, and behind Badger, is Cave Woman.
One notch in front of Cave Woman, and still behind Badger, is Warrior Nun Areala.
In front of Areala, next to Badger, and behind Maxx is Flaming Carrot.
Next to Flaming Carrot, and still behind Maxx is Megaton Man.
Behind Megaton Man is Zippy The Pinhead (I hate his fucking guts).
Next to Zippy, and behind Flaming Carrot, is Chuck D (yes, the rapper).
Next to Chuck D, and behind Scud, is Flavor Flav (yes, that one. Is there another?).
Behind, and in-between Flav and Chuck D, is Usagi Yojimbo.
Behind, and in-between Chuck D, and Zippy, is Grendel.
Behind Grendel, is Nira-X (a spinoff character from Zen).
Up above Nira-X, is Cyberfrog.
Next to Nira-X, and behind Chuck D, and Usagi, is Ant.
Next to Ant, and Usagi, and behind Flav, is 10th Muse.
Next to Ant, and behind 10th Muse, are Hack/Slash again (full circle).
Next to Cassie Hack, is Mercy Sparx (a demon chick).
In front of Cassie, and behind and between Mister Monster, and Scud, is Captain Action (remember him for later).
Behind Captain Action, is Karna (an Indian mythology based hero).
Next to Karna, is Freezerburn (guy with the flame arm, and ice arm).
Behind, and between Karna, and Freezerburn, is Spektral.
Behind Freezerburn, is Atomika (think a Russian Dr. Manhattan).
Next to Freezerburn, and in front of Atomika, is E-Man.
Behind E-Man, is Too Much Coffee Man.
Next to TMCM, and behind Shi, is Ms. Victory.
And...that's everybody, except for that redhead in the front I can't identify...
And, that's just the cover, this site has a list of even more characters who are inside the damned book.
Note that the cover seen there apparently wasn't the finalized version I have above, because a few characters have been changed/added.
Foremost, uknown redhead replaces an unknown chick with a fishnet collar/top.
I've seen yet another version that reveals Karna and Spektral covered up Johnny Raygun.
*Shrug*
The behind the scenes stories on that might be interesting...
So, that's a big fuckin' wad of crossover.
And, that's issue 1, there are 3 issues out, with 3 on the way, and various spinoffs, and prequels.
Alright, remember I said remember Captain Action?
Honey West/ Captain Action/ That Man Flint: Danger A-Go-Go.
And then...
The Phantom meets/fights Captain Action.
And...
Captain Action meets The Green Hornet.
Green Hornet: My Last Case.
An elderly Britt Reid flashes back across his life.
I mentioned it as a factoid in "I love the 30's", but this comic makes the bloodline connection to Lone Ranger explicit.
Speaking of...
The Lone Ranger: The Death Of Zorro.
So, an elderly Zorro, trying to right one last injustice, gets shot in the back, and it's up to Lone Ranger to solve and avenge his murder.
Sad...but, it's about the only way you could cross them over in the timeline.
And...with that, that's all of the golden age guys from "I love the 30's", except for Buck Rogers.
Well, let's not go out on a sad note, let's remember Zorro in better days...
Zorro vs. Dracula.
Fuck yeah!
And, that's everything I was able to do as an unbroken chain of Baconing.
I'm proud of myself.
That would have crippled a lesser man.
I'm certain of it.
Up next, leftover pieces.
Up very next...um, well...comic-shop spank-rags...
“Dune: Part Two” Score Seeks An Oscar
3 hours ago
No comments:
Post a Comment