Munchies & Crunchies #19
I was always gonna do this one sooner or later....
I can't nail down the exact year, but sometime in the 90's, there was this ad campaign for Stove Top stuffing with a guy in a turkey suit trying not to get eaten (obviously, the ad is in a magical world where he's a real turkey), so he suggests the family eat Stove Chop with (pork) chops instead of turkey by saying "Stove Top with chawps!!", in a parrot voice.
This ad played a lot, and burnt into my head.
So, I shared my pain by making it a meme on the old J-World message board.
Is it a meme if no one else participates?
Everyone seemed to hate it.
I drove the guys crazy for like a month.
"Stove Top with chawps!! Stove top with chawps! Stove Top with chaaaawwps!!".
I've looked for that ad forever.
Can't find the sumbitch.
Either no one on Earth taped it, or if they did, they hated it so much, they taped over it.
BUT, as you can see above, I did find a pic of the guy in the turkey suit.
So, that's proof enough of its existence.
The message of the ad is sound though.
You don't have to have turkey for Thanksgiving.
You can have ham, roast beef, any beast you want.
Or, if a vegan, no beast at all.
The original Thanksgiving was a harvest feast where everyone devoured everything.
Cows, chickens, pigs, game hens, songbirds, everything gluttonous white people could get their grubby hands on.
Turkey just became a big thing because of the rising and falling waves of capitalism.
Turkey farmers wanted to sell more turkey, so Madison Avenue said turkey, and the plebes obeyed.
So, eat whatever you want at Thanksgiving.
And eat Stove Top year round with whatever you want, or by itself as a snack*.
Or, some other brand.
Or, some shit you make from scratch with burnt toast and the spice rack.
It's all good.
(*or maybe, with scrambled eggs and cheese!)
PS, Stove Top with chaaaaawps!!!
Previously with MC-
Products to avoid on moral grounds. (MC #18)
Thursday, February 6, 2020
Stove Top with chaaawwwps!!
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5 comments:
OMFG!!!!
I found it!!!!
Skip to 1:07
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SsagNSCICI8
Did you ever find "Octopus of love"?
Oh, Hell yeah.
Here's the whole video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCQuJN_Jc4U
Whoa, it's a song from....1991 Seattle?!? That's weird of them to be doing such an anti-trend as an updated 60s neo-psych pop song...they were going against the grain, that was against the grain!!!
The viewer comments are the first time I've seen the words "Packard Bell" in a long time, let alone "Thank you for buying Packard Bell."
Holy shit did that bacon brisket beef cheddar thing I just had at Arby's give me heartburn. I'm 37 and can't eat that shit anymore.
Re: Octopus.
Well, now you know why I hunted for that song so long and hard.
It was this weird diamond in the rough.
It stuck out against all the grunge stuff.
Plus, on the Packard Bell multimedia CD, it cut off at "shiny skiiinnn".
Drove me fucking crazy.
I had to hear the whole thing, or I was gonna have a fucking stroke.
Re: Arby's.
Dude, its Arby's.
The most ridiculed fast-food chain after Micky Dees.
You weren't supposed to be there anyway!
Well, you're getting old man stomach now.
Time to start buying Tums and Pepcids.
Tums to antidote what's there in the moment, Pepcid to force-field you before hand.
Stay away from fucking Zantac!
They leaked some chemical into it that causes cancer!
Last thing you need is a Quato growing out of your gut.
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