Stuff from Facebook #38.
The last of these!
Harry Hembock as a business.
December 19, 2019
Facebook just nagged me into updating business hours and location for Harry Hembock.
I never thought of Harry Hembock as a business.
I hate business.
The only business I ever wanted was a video store.
And even then, I'd rather be the employee, so someone else has to put up with the fucking paperwork, and the mafia truck drivers, while I get to play with the tapes.
BUT...there is that line in "The Falcon and The Snowman".
"As soon as you took money, you became a professional".
It may have just been DVD money, but I got money for those books.
I guess I'm a professional author.
A failed one, with an empty storefront with broken windows, and a family of raccoons in the ceiling.
But still...
Mere existence.
December 15, 2008
Is going back to the normal level of just sorta existing.
And the update...
December 15, 2019
Don't knock it.
Mere existence can be quite the adventure.
Even if you lay completely still, at a metabolic and cellular level, you're doing all kinds of crazy shit.
Plus, the planet is spinning at a thousand miles an hour, it's revolving at 67 thousand miles an hour, and the solar system is whipping around the galaxy at 143 miles a second.
And that's at an alleged standstill.
Add in all the chemistry and physics of cooking, eating, pooping, using technology, then add in the ripple effect impact you've had on people's lives, there's a lot of cool shit going on there.
Republicans are aliens.
January 28, 2014
Wait! I think I finally get it!
Republicans are extraterrestrials who have taken old Pat Benatar songs literally!
They think love actually is a battlefield, which is why they keep drone attacking weddings, and they really think Hell is for children, which is why they're against welfare, head start, and food stamps.
Well, that's an easy fix, we just have to change the cassette in the slots in their backs.
I wish the rest of the world's problems were this easy.
You're welcome.
Racial mix.
February 8, 2015
Idea: make a bunch of little molded cookie men, and you make them in gingerbread, dark chocolate, and vanilla, and you put them all in the same bag, and sell it as "racial mix", and sell it down south, and cause a riot, and disrupt a couple news cycles.
Best part, the news does your ad campaign for your cookie company for you for free.
And that's the end!!
Next up, an index of all these rants/rambles to make them easier to find.
Previously with SFF-
Weird/humor/musing stuff, Part 2. (SFF #37)
Tuesday, February 11, 2020
Weird/humor/musing stuff, Part 3.
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8 comments:
"Mere existence" - Sounds a bit like "American Splendor," there ("ordinary life is pretty complex stuff")
Pat Benatar songs - Is it just me or is "Invincible" everywhere? That one's from "The Legend Of Billie Jean" starring Helen "Supergirl" Slater which used to air on HBO all the time! I hear it at supermarkets and shit constantly.
The 1981 version of "The Postman Always Rings Twice" is kinda crappy. Jack Nicholson and Jessica Lange go at it like sixteen times in the movie. Yack.
Shit, you're getting "Invincible", in your muzak?
You lucky bastid!
No "Shadows of the night"?
Postman-
*Looks up some screenshots*
Hey...when I was little, this movie came up on my grandma's HBO where these two people were boning, and it grossed my grandmother out, and she changed it.
I think it was this one!
I think she checked it out cuz she thought it was the black & white one.
Ha!
Another mystery solved!
Mere existence/American Splendour-
Sorry I didn't answer that one.
I couldn't think of anything but "yeah, I guess you're right", but that's pretty boring.
You'll hear "We Belong," "Love Is A Battlefield," "Shadows In The Night" and "Invincible" every now and then, depending on where you're at. I wouldn't say the world has forgotten Pat Benatar. I'm just surprised because it came from that movie, which I thought wasn't even on DVD (though it aired on HBO a lot.)
Of course, you'll also have to hear U2's "Beautiful Day"--a song I really liked and which signalled their comeback 20 years ago--for the umpteen jillionth time too if you're at supermarkets. God that song makes me groan now!
"Blue Monday" is going to be the next re-overexposed 1980s song thanks to "Wonder Woman 1984."
The sex scenes in TPART are softcore garbage with Nicholson groping Lange like she were made of jello, I can't believe David Mamet's first movie script was this film.
The 1946 film, and the 1934 novel, are both better. By James M. Cain, who wrote "Double Indemnity" too and was a big inspiration for the Coen Bros.' debut "Blood Simple."
Y'know where you get the best background music?
And it's where you really need it too.
Auto dealerships.
On the higher channels on cable TV now, they have channels that are just radio stations that play the songs against a slideshow of pictures of the band next to trivia factoids about the band.
If you go and buy a truck (or drive the car back for someone buying a truck), you're getting the 80's station.
In Maine.
Kansas, probably gonna be country.
Unless the place is run by gen-xers.
WW84-
I'm actually excited for the soundtrack to that one.
I'll know every song like the back of my hand, whatever they turn out to be, but I get a kick out of the kiddies being introduced to this stuff.
But yeah, the trailer is gonna over-expose "Blue Monday".
I hope they change it up between trailers.
TPART-
Cheerfully avoided then.
It must have been some other movie on HBO where a couple was going at it raunchily.
The dude was stubbly, and sweaty, and greasy haired, and had crazy eyes, and angry teeth, and the woman was regular looking, but all excited and turned on that this guy was a scary dirty psycho.
I just assumed it was Nicholson.
Now I'll never know.
Radio - Mmmm....I only hear some country around here, not always country. Often times it's just the same mix of classic rock and recent pop.
Last year's biggest hit, the country rap "Old Town Road," made history by being the longest running #1 hit ever at 16 weeks or something like that...but I've never heard it outside of Youtube! (I wonder how much money Trent Reznor made off of it; that's his song "Ghosts 34" that was sampled for the twanging background of the song.)
WW84 - "Blue Monday" has already been re-made and re-exposed enough times over the years, probably the second most culturally re-appropriated 80s song after "In The Air Tonight," and now wouldn't ya know it, there's another version of it. I wonder how hard the movie will really push that 1984 setting....that mall didn't look very 1984 to me. But I digress.
TPART - Nicholson and Lange bang on a wooden kitchen counter with the two of them howling and groping at each other's faces and getting bread dough yeast all over themselves. Later he punches her in the butt and they smack each other around on the ground after murdering her husband. It's really rapey.
HBO - My favorite HBO memory is being about six or seven and being absolutely scared shitless of this slow dream sequence where a vampire walked up to a sleeping woman, bit her neck, and left two little blood trickles on her neck. I had nightmares about that scene for years.
Years later, I grew up and found out what movie that scene had come from...
......
.........
........................
............................"ONCE BITTEN" STARRING JIM FUCKING CARREY.
I have some other childhood HBO memory about some woman in what looked like a wedding dress passing out on a street at night in front of people, and she has some sort of tooth baring Cronenberg type orifice in her belly with feathers in it? Did I hallucinate this shit? Asked around on the old IMDb boards before they were taken down and nobody had ANY answers for me!!
Old town road- Oh, Walking Dead put it in their commercial, and AMC played the shit out of it.
WW84- I wonder how much of the flick is set in that mall.
The villain seems like he's the owner, so probably quite a bit.
I could go with either way, whether that's one of many locations, or the whole flick is stuck there like "Dawn Of The Dead".
Hmm "Dawn Of The Dead", with Wonder Woman and Cheetah.
I'd watch that.
TPART being rapey-
Well, that's the 80's for you.
Once Bitten-
Re: Your memory. Lol!
Yep, we've all got that one movie that gets us.
The fat girl eating the banana that gets stabbed through the neck in "Friday The 13th Part 4", gave me at least one literally sleepless night.
That was his worst kill.
Everyone else, you could maybe kinda sorta argue they were assholes.
That girl was just having a goddamned snack.
And she didn't even want to be at the camp, she was trying to hitchhike away.
Jason broke both his rules there.
Not cool.
Re: Once Bitten the movie- I think I saw that in one of my Halloween binges.
That, or my summer binges preparing for Halloween.
Either way, I've forgotten most of it.
It's only memorable for introducing Jim Carrey.
The bride with the feather mouth on her belly-
It's probably real.
Look how many of mine turned out to be.
Although, the momry might be distorted.
My memory of "curse of the bubbling death", from "Wild, Wild, West", was a little off.
But not by much.
Sometimes, it's not a horror movie, but a weird horror scene buried in a comedy.
The feathers kind of points to that.
And the 80's shat out a lot of comedies that were so bad, they even faded from home video.
And it only seems to have happened to comedies.
The horror community preserved their movies better.
Hell, if it weren't for Jim Carrey "Once Bitten", might be history-erased.
momry = memory
Although, that sounds like a movie monster.
*Gears start turning*
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