Ah, what the heck, here's another three.
On dumb gun arguments:
August 19 at 6:10 PM
The pro-gun side makes such stupid fucking arguments.
And they don't need to!
Just default to the constitution, and shut the fuck up!
Nope, they've gotta gaslight you.
Our local NBC affiliate news leans pretty right-wing.
They think they're being sneaky about it, but they aren't.
They played some fucking thing about hunters scared to lose their guns because "hunting is their family tradition, and they grew up with it".
I don't care.
Was that supposed to make me cry, or something?
Who fucking cares?
I grew up with video stores. I was an incredible tape hunter and collector.
Legendary.
It was a source of my power and identity.
The death of video stores ripped all my organs out, and stuffed them back in backwards.
No one cried for me.
No one called the waaahhmbulance for my ass.
I had to pick myself up off the pavement, and find a reason to keep going.
Why are guns so much more magical than VHS tapes?
They aren't.
"They're part of our cultural identity!".
So were powdered wigs.
So was slavery.
So were VHS tapes for 30 years.
Argue better, you stupid bastards.
On the meatheads in my neighborhood:
August 19 at 4:29 PM
Couple nights ago, had the window open, was trying to sleep at 3 am, and some redneck morons drove by at wind-noise speed, and one of them screamed "go fuck!!!".
"Go fuck"?
That's what you came up with to scream at me?
"Fuck you", has the same amount of syllables.
Maybe it was "go fuck yourself", but the "yourself", got chopped off?
No, it was just "go fuck".
It only took me 5 seconds to come up with "go fuck your sister ass-to-ass with a double-ended dildo over your grandmother's tombstone and shit-cum on the engraving of her bucktoothed face".
If I could think of that, surely they could have been more creative.
No, this town is stupid, they really couldn't have.
Anyway, I cursed at the cat, cuz it was his fault the window was open anyway.
He sleeps there. None of this phased him.
Maybe they were yelling "go fuck", at him.
Yeah, I'm gonna go with that.
They were mocking him for being neutered.
Didn't seem to bother him.
Anyway, thank you, Wembley, and insomnia for this stupid moment in my life.
On an old love lost.
EDIT- Thought my high school crush was dead. Turns out she wasn't
Previously-
- Stuff From Facebook! (SFF #1)
- A rant that lost me some friends. (SFF #2)
- Abortion and Nazis. (SFF #3)
2 comments:
Guns - I think the most noxious thing about gun culture is that it's tied to religious apocalypse fantasies, like "I need to stockpile 500 guns for Judgment Day for when SATAN comes!" type crap, or fighting off the "one world government" with your guns. That's the part I hate the most.
"Go fuck" - Reminds me of freshman year of college, 'twas out for a walk and I was across the street from campus and some rednecks in a pickup truck see me near a soda machine and start snarling stuff at the stoplight like "yeeeh boy, get that thar mountain dew boy yeeeehh!" Weird and not threatening.
Girl - Sad. My high school crush is still alive but she's got like four kids now so I sorta stopped thinking about her.
Guns- Yeah, I just saw an article reporting on a televangelist nut saying if Trump doesn't start arresting high profile Democrats, "patriots", will have to start killing them.
Yeah, that's what the unstable meatheads in this country need to hear.
Redneck idiots- Yeah, I've had that "jeeringly narrate whatever you're doing", bullshit. Lame. People are fucking lame. The counter move I've figured out is to narrate back at them but crank it to eleven. "Oh, look at you breathing! What a homo! Look at you blink! What a stupid way to blink! Gay!".
Girl- Those two friends of mine who died in middle school and high school traumatized me, and made me paranoid, I guess. I have to check on everybody every few years to make sure everyone's still breathing. I was actually expecting to find the "she's got 4 kids now", ending. Nope.
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