Sunday, November 25, 2012

Son Of Boob Tube

Some more culturally significant shows I could have easily done without.

The Battlestar Galactica remake.

At best, it did nothing for me, at worst, it pissed me off.
There was nothing there for me to connect to, I didn't like anybody.
Not enough to tough out the show, anyway.

Here I am tapdancing on its grave the day after the finale. Link.


I've sounded off about this before.
(Here, and here)



The Shield

It got three episodes ahead of me at the beginning, and...I never worked up the will to catch up.
How long was that on?
Hmph, go figure.

Game of thrones

On a channel I don't have.
They could cancel it now, and I wouldn't blink.
I hear streaming reruns, or getting the DVDs out has been a fucking debacle.
Glad I didn't get sucked into it.
Sounds like a hellish franchise to be a fan of.
I'll pass, thanks.

The Eric Andre Show

More Tim & Eric flavored crap.
Gotta say it again, take the live action stuff, and shove it up your ass, Cartoon Network.
Gimme my next season of Venture Brothers, you sons of bitches.


Oh, I was SO glad when this pretentious poser-y bullshit was over, and I SO called that the ending would be total nonsense that made everything before a waste of time.
Called it to the letter.


Yeah, keep peddling that quackery, pop culture.
Where would America be without it's grade-a premium cut bullshit?

Dr Oz

Speaking of peddling quackery...
Yeah, Oprah-Chopra picked this muthafucka.
And yes, he's had Deepak on.
And not to spit in his face.
Sadly, no.
Practically inhaled his teabag.


This is another one of these public figures everyone fucking looooves, and thinks is wonderful....and she's just fucking awful.
A fucking shameless narcissist, a raging messiah complex, peddled the worst quack gurus this culture has ever shat out, that part alone has genuinely set us back 25 years as a species (at a fucking minimum!) no redeeming fucking value, and America thinks she's literally a saint.
I've ranted about her before, I know, but...fuckin-a!
What the fuck is WRONG with you, America??
What the fuck is WRONG with you???

Dr Phil 

Oprah's first and worst butt-baby.
I actually think he's flat-out destructive.
I find him vile.
Unworthy of drawing breath, maybe.
He should kill himself.

I repeat, what the fuck is the matter with you, America?

In fact, fuck all daytime talk TV, now that I think about it.

It's all evil condescending shit, and with rare exception, pretty much always has been.
If you ever want to to crack it wide open, and see the man behind the curtain, dig up the DVDs of season 3 of "The Osbournes", that shows the behind-the-scenes of Sharon Osbourne's first daytime talk show, and watch what nasty scum the producers were to her.

Pieces of shit like that run the whole fucking show.
Daytime is their evil impenetrable fiefdom.
And wonder why anyone with a spine, or something real to say never makes it on there.

Well, I've set myself up for it with the above, but, I gotta tear into Ellen now.


She seems like a sweet person, but her show isn't funny, and the talk part is insipid, and no one challenging or interesting is ever on it.
Never will be.
The music is all FM top 10 candyfloss garbage.
The celebs are all plugging the latest rom-com drivel.
Or, some Adam Sandler/Judd Apatow shit.

It's less than fluff.
It's candy, but a diet of candy leaves you malnourished.
America's fucking brains look like that puppy-eyed starving kid in the Sally Struthers ads.

Y'know, while we're on shitty doctor shows...

Dr Drew

I used to like him, cuz of "Loveline", but he got on the Casey Anthony media gravy train bandwagon, and, it turns out he also takes payola from big pharma and lap-band companies.
All the while, waving his sanctimonious finger at doctor-feelgoods who over-prescribe everything, and get kickbacks.
So, he's just another hypocrite whore at the troth.

Are there any good doctor shows on?
Dead stop.

Daytime TV is a fuckin' wasteland.
You're all alone.
Seek out your news and knowledge on the internet.
Be fucking grateful as fuck for the internet.
Without internet, we would truly be up shit creek.

Hell, even WITH it, we aren't even sitting too pretty.
Things are still scary and hellish around the edges.

The only thing TV is really good for, is satire, and horror.
And, recipes, I guess.

As a font of knowledge, its been a real letdown.
There was such potential, too....

Anyway, yeah, got off track....
Um, yeah, all of that sucked.
If you didn't know that, you do.

TV sucks, it's dying, but don't mourn it, it dug its own grave.

The good shows?
They'll go somewhere else.
You'll be able to stream 'em off Hulu or something.
Don't worry.

But, when the current sales model of TV finally goes?
Good riddance.
Can't wait.
Almost makes me want to pray.


Diacanu said...

Crap, I repeated Buffy/Angel.

Well...I really didn't care for them, what can I say?

And they were like, this cultural epoch, couldn't get away from 'em.

Diacanu said...

Mad About You!!

That's the one I couldn't fucking remember!

Yeah, that was some bland boomer shit.

Diacanu said...

Arrested Development!!

That was the other one.

Everyone on the planet is on that boat but me.

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