QD:Season 2, Chapter 30. (Quantum Resolve)

2013
January 14th
The "Quantum Dissolve", universe.
Season 1: Origins.
Chapter 0: Prelude.
Timeline 3.

Two superheroes materialized in a swirl of tiny triangle orange sparkles.
They called themselves "The Multiversers".
They had just come from scolding Mike Meggison into undoing his wacky time travel hijinks.

They were a man and a woman.
Infra-Green and Ultra-Red respectively.
They were brother and sister.
Harry and Kate Irwin.
Children of Jade-Shade and Chokecherry from the future.
Both wore transparent solid tachyonic hologram armor that only each other could see.
Under that armor, they wore just jumpsuits.
Infra-Green's armor and jumpsuit were green with blue highlights, Ultra-Red's were red with purple highlights.

Infra-Green's armor weapons were gun and bomb based, Ultra-Red's were blade based.
Infra-Green's special ability was time stopping and/or slowing, Ultra-Red's was phasing.
If they held hands, they could use both.
Either Ultra-Red bringing Infra-Green into the phase, or Infra-Green bringing Ultra-Red into the time stop.
Both could do creation of shields, cages, and flight packs.
Both had brainwave HUD with Planet Eidolon teleport level scanners.
By mixing and matching their skills, they could do pretty much anything.

Infra-Green looked at Ultra-Red and said "okay, this'll be timeline 4 now. Fourth time's the charm. Let's just cut through the BS, and help accomplish dad's original vision for Lentilville".
Ultra-Red nodded, and said "justice has waited long enough".


2016
December 28th
The "Quantum Dissolve", universe.
Season 2: Heroes, Villains, & other nutcases.
Chapter 30: Quantum Resolve.
Timeline 4.

It was the biggest celebration the town had ever seen.
The Freed Radicals (with help from the Multiversers) had saved everyone, and fixed everything.

All the corrupt politicians and businessmen were locked up, all the non-violent drug offenders were set free, pollution was cleaned up, The Plant had been bought up by Mimme Isabelle, and turned into a Chokecherry soda factory, with Chokecherry herself as boss.

And the super villains? They were in laser jail.
Harry, containing the memories of all his selves, showed them how to make one.

There was a parade, and several outdoor concerts.

All the superheroes were there.
Not just Freed Radicals, but Legion Of Liberty, Zone Dweebies, Superior Seven, and classic solo characers going all the way back to Jellybean Man.
They'd all been plucked out of the time-stream and dimension-stream for this occasion.

Horatio Allison, Temperance Allison, and Miss Pique/Elisa Jack were also plucked out of time.
They got to see their long range plan come to fruition at last.

Lentilville had been renamed Cherry Blossom Cove.
A compromise between the original Pine Nut Cove, and Chokecherry essentially being the owner.

A band called Quantum Dissolve played a new kind of music also called Quantum Dissolve.
The band was made up of Freed Radical and Superior Seven members, and used instruments designed by Superstar and Dr. Herbert.
The song they currently played was called "goin' multiversing!".

Palapulam, Plawnee, and a guy dressed as Yummy Youse handed out free ice cream.
Okeen brand, to be exact.

Wood-Ro, beamed over from chapter 28, sat in Mimme's spooky rocking chair.
It had been animated in the same manner as Wood-Ro, named Cathy, and the two were married.
Furniture-on-furniture marriage having been made legal.

Dusty Irwin, in the Jade-Shade outfit, but without the mask, stood on the lead parade float, and muttered to himself "fuck you, Blackie, my actions did matter".

Chokie hugged him, looked up at him lovingly, and said "ease in the Badawah".

Dusty said back "yes, ease in the Badawah indeed", and smooched her.

Planet Eidolon from chapter 29 appeared in the sky just to check things out.

Everyone waved joyously, and threw cherry blossom looking confetti.

Infra-Green put his fists on his hips, and said "there, that's done".
Ultra-Red pressed a button on her wrist, and they both de-materialized to their next adventure.


Read More......

QD:Season 2, Chapter 29. (Evil Goes Out Of Business)

Meanwhile, back at chapter 24...

Harry got a message from Planet Eidolon on the screen of his computer unit, and he smiled.
"Actually, I've got a plan to settle the whole 'villain', thing once and for all too", he said with a devilish grin.


Planet Eidolon
Three Million AD.
The "Quantum Dissolve", universe.

Planet Eidolon commanded the teleporter to scan itself a second back in time, and materialized a copy of itself from the scan.

Then, she networked the two teleporters together, and materialized a third.

With three working together, it was easy to duplicate another three.

And another three, and another three.....


Planet Eidolon
Five Million AD.
The "Quantum Dissolve", universe.

Planet Eidolon had re-sequenced every quark of her existence to be one big giant inter-dimensional teleporter.

Then she teleported her entire mass back in time.


Planet Eidolon
Three Million AD.
The "Quantum Dissolve", universe.

Dimensional-Teleporter-Planet-Eidolon materialized next to her past self.

She then re-sequenced her past self into a copy of her present self.

Then, she downloaded all her future memories into her upgraded past self.

Then, having erased away those extra two million years of evolution, her future self vanished.
Past Planet Eidolon was now future Planet Eidolon.
Instantly.
Which, is how it goes with time travel.


Planet Earth
2013.
The "Quantum Dissolve", universe.
Timeline 3.

Harry Hembock looked up, and Dimensional-Teleporter-Planet-Eidolon materialized up in the sky.
His grin got bigger.
It was all over, and it was also just beginning.


Dimensional-Teleporter-Planet-Eidolon beamed up a sampling of criminals, and scanned their brain patterns.

She then used those patterns as a template to create a scan for all criminals.

Not just the muggers, rapists, and murderers, but the rent gougers, the scam artists, the swindlers, the sharks, the backstabbers, the cheats, the crooks, the predatory lenders, the dirty politicians, the crooked cops, the theocratic judges, the whole sordid lot, no matter their social station.
Top to bottom on the food chain.
No special privilege for anyone.

She then found a dimensional Earth duplicate where human beings never evolved, and beamed all the horrible people to that Earth all in one fell swoop.
Including the sample cases she beamed up.

Then, she swapped the clean atmosphere of that planet with Earth's dirty one.
All in one big instant transplant.
Then, she beamed all the other pollution.
The garbage, the heavy metals, the fossil fuel smoke, the soot, the radiation, the medical waste, the sewage, the urine gravy of the big cities, all of it, and sent it to the other planet.
Sociopaths made this mess, they could now wallow in it.

She then plucked out all the good clean stuff from that other planet a split second before the pollution arrived to ruin it, and sent it to Earth.
Trees, animals, insects, coral, ozone, clean water, all the choice goodies.

Beaming away all the assholes gave her ample genetic scans, and she scanned the remaining population, and beamed out all the bad genes, cleaning everyone up, so no new criminals and tyrants would ever be born again.
Evil was done.
Sent to the shit planet, or deleted.

She then surrounded the Good Earth with weather control satellites to further help unwind the damage the criminals had done.

She then hacked the entire internet, found every scrap of cash the criminals had hidden away in the deepest darkest bowers, and gave it back to the people as the biggest rebate ever.
Where things were in physical vaults, she beamed it all out, and distributed it household to household.

There was enough for everybody.
Health care, food, roads, space travel, everything.
Right there.
Stolen by pigs.
That was over now.

She then beamed up all the weapons, from teensy purse pistols, to atomic warheads, and broke them all down to raw elements.
With crime gone, and war gone, they were just wasting valuable atoms.

Then, she beamed down particle printers, and patterns for making everything else.
Then, she downloaded down patterns and instructions for how to rocket the internet forward a million years, and get teleporters and free energy up and running.

And with particle printers, tissue farming, and gene re-sequencing, all disease would fade out in a generation. If that.
With scanner drives, mental illness would be gone sooner.

And most mental illness not caused by genes was just residue of having to put up with the assholes, who were all gone now.

To make sure of it, she put a permanent self replenishing force-field around Shit Earth.
And self-repairing satellite beacons to warn anyone away.


Then, in a reversal of how she sifted out the evil people, she beamed up all the special, great, cool, and weird people, and beamed them directly to her.
This easily included all the superheroes.

She then went back to 3 million AD.
The freaks, geeks, supers, they'd all live with her, exploring the multiverse forever, and ever, and ever.
Going back anytime they wanted to visit, or deliver new discoveries.


Planet Earth
The 24th century.
The "Quantum Dissolve", universe.
Timeline 3.

The Good Earth evolved into the world of Astro Gallop for real.

They built a fleet of starships, and one of those was the real U.S.S. Concordance.

Then, one day, Mike Meggison materialized on the quantum dissolver platform of the U.S.S. Concordance.

Mike sent a signal to Planet Eidolon, and smiled about what the next phase was going to be.

Planet Eidolon beamed the Concordance to her.

Now the Concordance would be exploring the multiverse forever, and ever, and ever.
Fulfilling its original mission in ways its crew never dreamed.

And so they did.
And so they all did.
The multiverse for their playground.
For eons and eons.

Then, one day....


Read More......

RIP Carrie Fisher.

Future-me from 5/7/24 finally getting around to this one.

Read More......

QD:Season 2, Chapter 28. (Goin' Mulitiversing!)

Meanwhile, back at chapter 23....

Mike Meggison laid back in bed looking at his wall posters.
With the dimensions of the multiverse at his disposal, and with his posters as a map, he said "now...where do I want to go first?".


1997.
Lentilville Mall Area.
Bul-Wark.

Mike went back to Bul-Wark during one of his past self's days off, used creative time freezing, and teleports, and set it up so everyone was poisoned with laxatives, the toilets would back up with timed explosives, and the external doors and janitor's closets would be welded shut.
He set time in motion, admired his handiwork with a grin, and moved on.


1993.
Punnum Insurance.
He swiped that coconut cake with the cherry on top he always wanted.
The universe didn't seem to want him to have it.
This would prove to be right.


1994.
Hammond N' Yeggz Insurance.
Mike used the gene re-sequencing sub-system of the telport to turn the managers black in their sleep.
They came to work coated in white concealer, and their horrible jokes suddenly vanished.
Funny thing that.


1995.
Haitlin N' Sons.
He turned that manager into a woman.
She was still a loud moron, but now the other loud morons didn't like her for some reason.
And they felt uncomfortable telling certain jokes.
Again with that.


1995.
University Of Lentilville.
He gave the maintenance kids IQ boosts, and free scholarships (with some hacking help from Planet Eidolon).
He gave an equal number of the most spoiled brats there IQ drops, and maintenance jobs.
He felt good about it for a little while, until he realized it all looked the same.
He decided to move on, let history sort it out.
Things like this are why the universe begrudged the coconut cake.


1995.
Trinkets "R" We.
He turned that creepy dude with the rape fantasies into a dwarf with a pig-tail dick.
Turns out, it didn't slow him down as much as you'd think.


1996.
Hannalees.
He found dimensions where each of the managers were homeless, and swapped them with their doubles.
It wasn't like the movies, the homeless doubles ended homeless again pretty quick.
He gave the little retarded dude who pushed the carts an IQ boost, and he ended up manager.
And a good one for a change.
Until he donated to the Broompt campaign years later.
Didn't bump the IQ enough, I guess.
Human brains are trickier than they look.


1996.
Trinkets "R" We (again).
He confirmed who the culprit was who busted up his car, and beamed his pickup truck into the sun.
Then fixed his own car with its teleport pattern from a couple hours ago.
Then made the culprit wake up black and gay the next day.
It only made him more popular.
Not with his old friends, of course, but after the move to LA...


1989.
Hembsire Hillock.
He turned all the shitty parents of the kids into kids themselves, and beamed them there.
Then, he turned the kids into their adult selves from the future, and set them loose.
They proceeded to commit a crime wave.
Ah well.
Fuck Lentilville.
You broke 'em, you bought 'em.


1990
Shady Dave's Flea Market.
Mike beamed out all the tapes, and all the comics.
Then, he sent them back to himself from a second ago, so they'd become time copies, and therefore not stealing.
Then, he sent them to his past self in this time with a note saying simply "you win".


1994.
(Same time as Punnum Insurance)
"Zap Pow Crash", class.
He turned the teacher into a humanoid rat in his sleep.
For some reason, he didn't use this to fight crime.
How utterly disappointing.
Comics lie.
And now Mike was saddled with hundreds of them.


2000.
Computer class.
He turned the teacher into a cyborg.
Again, no crime fighting.
Nor gratitude.
Damn it all.
He used a boot disk to reformat him.
His new self was now happily married to a soda machine.
"Finally, one of these worked out", he thought.



1988.
He made a visiting comic creator wake up as a humanoid Tortoise.
Only after he turned his nose up at "Goony Lookin' Street Fight Pumpkin".
Again, no crime fighting.
And yet, the reality show of Tortoise-guy actually had better ratings than the cartoon of the dude's comic.
"Another win!", Mike thought.


2016.
He undid all the previous changes by stopping himself, and giving himself the memories of it.
Because dimension cops calling themselves "Multiversers", made him do so.
Turns out, the memories were good enough.
Revenge was fun to think about, but the real thing had rippling consequences.
Who would have thought?


1985.
Mike rescued his childhood homemade wooden dummy made of lumber, Wood-Ro, from the dump, and gene re-sequenced him into a real boy.
He then copied his memories and intelligence into him.
Well, the DNA scans said it was a real boy, but he still looked like a dummy made of rectangular hunks of lumber.
And the downloader app said he had human intelligence, but he moved all twitchily like a confused insect, and didn't speak.
"Meh, close enough".
He then sent him ahead to a future chapter.


2009.
He beamed to the Dublin meeting, and didn't miss it this time.
That had always really bugged him.
Now, other things could bother him.
There was always something.


2016.
He paid individual visits to all his board, blog, and Facebook friends.
Some of them were even genuinely happy to see him.


24th century.
Mike materialized on the quantum dissolver platform of the U.S.S. Concordance.
He was greeted by a human male, a female android with a chrome skullcap, and a three eyed dude from Epsilon Iotia Gamma.
He recognized them immediately.
Mike sent a signal to Planet Eidolon, and smiled about what the next phase was going to be.


Read More......

QD:Season 2, Chapter 27. (Reverse Breakfast, The Easter Eggs)

Three Million AD.
The "Quantum Dissolve", universe.

Planet Eidolon locked her scanners onto chapter 26, and as a virtual re-creation of her 16 year old self, supplied commentary.


"Dusty Irwin was awoken by the alarm clock".

It was a radio alarm clock, and "Round Dog", Ripington was playing.
Offal was his guest.

Among the memes generated by that show were calling the meal of supper "saypoo", exclaiming "flatulato!!", when passing gas, pronouncing the sound effect of gas as *Brooommpptt!!*, exclaiming "wash your ass!", for no apparent reason, calling people devils by screaming "devooooos!!", calling a vagina a "snoosh", pronouncing "suck it", as "sawk eet", and "suck and fuck", as "saaawwk and faawwwk!", throwing in "sook-a da kook!!", in as an alternate for fellatio, replacing the phrase "fixed that for you", with "for the fuckin' yams", calling the female torso "tits-and-belly", playing a loop of a guy saying "Booo!! Fuckin' booo!! Go suck a weenie!! WEENIE!!!", as a mockery of bad heckling, and for no apparent reason, when in a victorious mood, "I'll never die again!".

I do not like Round Dog.
Not a fan of Offal either.
The two of them together?
Insufferable.
Just insufferable.


"Dusty loved being awake.
Awake was where he could be The Jade Shade".

Ease in The Badawa.
That's what they say in the 5000s when you're having a peaceful day.
It loses something in translation.


"Asleep was where he had to wait to be Jade Shade again".

And hung out with the dream guardians, Palapulam, and Plawnee.
Who were the source of the names of the Freed Radical team members.
How do I know this?
Brain-scans.


"Being married to Chokecherry, and hanging out with and mentoring other heroes was pretty damned sweet too".

Chokecherry now officially endorsed Chokecherry soda.
Also, they make Blood Orange and Purple Pepper sodas.
The company was run by the heiress, Mimme Isabelle.
Mimme is Pixelmistress in the Freed Radicals team, which is how Chokie got hooked up with the endorsement deal.
Mimme was named after a baby talk noise her big brother had made in the crib.
Interestingly, she dressed as a female cupid in a middle school play once.
Her character died.
Like in a certain dream.
Quantum telepathic bleed over? Who knows?
Chokecherry had Mimme put Quantum Dissolve in the sodas to try to antidote evil in the town once.
Didn't work out so well.
Ah, well.


"He jumped out of bed, ready and excited to face the day".

Almost tripping over Teetso 10, his experimental rocket pack.
Everyone including Dr. Herbert was still too terrified to field test it.
Good call, as it turns out.


"Having Chokecherry sharing the job with him helped a lot too.
None of that "you and your crazy dreams", bullshit.
He couldn't imagine having a ball-busting harpy chopping away at him.
He then remembered his hallucination from Mr. Sleepy Seeds, and shuddered".

Oh, speaking of her invaluable help with the team, we never got to Chokecherry's recruitment drive, did we?
So, here's her batch of Freed Radical members that she loosely called "Chokie's Heroes", until the big merger in chapter 12.

Blood Orange, Purple Pepper, and Zoria Bacillus who we know.

There was The Slicker, who is Nick Rainey, who's my biological dad.
I didn't know then.
I know now through genetic screening.
I don't care.
Moving on...

Nut Crush & Lopper Lass.
Lopper Lass is the daughter of Angus McUngus, the owner of a meat pie shop who eventually died straining at stool.
A drinking song was dedicated to him called "the violent crapping of Angus McUngus".
They still sang it until the last I saw human beings sometime around the hundred-thousands.

Nut Crush became my boyfriend, then husband, and we had a son named Harry.
...yes, it's who you're thinking of.
Time travel and such...
Don't tell him.
It'd get weird.

Baken & Pornne, a former "meat man", and a former dancer at "the serious drawer", respectively.

Upholdor, a former safe cracker nicknamed Fingers McGinty.

Commander Vindication, a guy inspired by the "utility belt", entries of Shmegalamonga.

Palupulam & Plawnee (the latter being a dog), named after baby talk from Palapulam's kid sister that she received in a dream. How they ended up in JS's dreams is a tangled web of time travel, and brain-scans overlapping by complex chance.
Or else, the dream world is real.
Whichever.

Mister Impregnable, an opposite Jade Shade, in that instead of being bitter over his evil home town, he was bored with his beautiful hometown.
That town got renamed along the way in history as "the Badawa", and then had a popular soap based in and around it called "Ease in the Badawa".
The opening slogan was "like sways of the metronome, so is this, Ease In The Badawa!".
Long after the show died, and it was forgotten, the phrase lingered on.

The Bogey, a proto-Jade-Shade from the 90's whose origin was hinted at in the recounting of season 1, chapter 4, in season 2, chapter 18.

Zettabit & Pixelmistress, the latter whom I just talked about above, and the former being her inconsequential and forgettable boyfriend.

And finally, a family team called The Inconceivables, made up of Mr. Inconceivable, Popcorn Girl, Spurt, and Dwindle.
Most of whom we met in season 2, chapter 13.
Spurt? He just runs. Not even very fast.
They had to give him something to do to feel useful.


"Unlike that world, he never questioned why he existed.
He knew exactly what he was for".

Sperm donation for a much better superhero.
...what?


"He sighed happily, went down to the kitchen, drank milk, and ate what he damned well wanted.
What he damned well wanted was toaster pastry, and he made it himself without whining".

Good boy, have a biscuit.


"Eidolon was there, and he listened to her talk to Chokie, and was immediately interested.
His girls weren't knuckleheads".

Yes, and the former had under her shirt an Omneron head flash drive necklace containing the Hembooks, Dark Designs, QD as it comes out, Omneron's core program, and some favorite hacker apps powerful enough to crush the Pentagon to dust if need be.
Yep, no "knucklehead", was she.


"She was not a valueless little bastard like most of her schoolmates.
All they wanted was stuff.
And what meaningless shit it all was".

Like that creepy rocking chair carved by Mimme based on a Mike Meggison nightmare in "The Books Of Blah".


"Eidie had her doodads, but she put them to valuable use, and they didn't come in vomitous neon pink".

Because if her Pentagon-smasher necklace were pink, that'd just spoil everything.


""Cram Rockwell paintings, THIS is the American dream", Dusty thought with a smile".

"America", being an ancient and defunct country that thought it owned the universe.
And "Rockwell", being a painter with too much sincerity for his own good, but in the end who did no harm.
Yes, I can certainly see how the one follows the other on a moral scale...


"Eidie was shoveling down a bowl of Zam Bonies, and he didn't mind at all".

Thank you, Prince Toaster Pastry.
My life has meaning now.


""Kimber, Irma, Chokie, the shit we've been through, and they never broke your spirit", he thought as he ogled her up and down".

How are her ordeals and accomplishments part of "we"?
Feminism, folks!!


"He looked at Eidie, and saw Chokie in her future.
"You lucky, lucky, girl", he thought.
Then, he felt sad for everyone else's daughters".

I'm not your daughter, creepo.

(Sing-song-y) she's a leg-end waiting to happeeeen!
No, dipshit, I done happened.


"Chokie noticed the smiling, and smiled back".

*Grumble, eye roll*


"All of this couldn't be more perfect if flying saucers were outside the windows vomiting forth flocks of choir-ing angels guided along green tractor beams".

Angels being demigods.
One of the ancient forms of worship, and therefore a thing considered God, was the sun.
And demigods off the sun, being the race of Stars, who in one universe, live in our sun, and who's superhero is Superstar.
So, you could call him an angel.
He's not gonna play a harp anytime soon though.
BUT, Superstar founded The Superior Seven.
Which consisted of Superstar, Glob (1987 monster incarnation), Street Fight Pumpkin, George Ginespurn, Marvin Metamorph, Robo-Bo-Bo, and The Twornkie.
So, they were a legion of honorary demigods.
And they fought aliens in saucers.
So, with some dimensional transporting, that whole scene could come true.
Singing lessons would have to be involved though.

But, before Superstar founded that team, there was Jellybean Man.
And just after him, Tuperbird (Tuper = Tough + Super).
And just after him, Superstar as a solo act.
And just after him, Glob (1985 slime blob version).
And just after him, Squabsy, a sad attempt at a more G-rated character, who was quickly and happily killed by Glob. He was the Harryverse Jar-Jar.
And just after him, came Roboton Defenders, a bunch of changing robots, whose only survivor ended up being Kadoonk, a robot that turned into a B.B. gun.
And just after him, Superstar got Superior Seven up and running.
But then, when the Superior Seven fell apart, Superstar made a team of third stringers, including Kadoonk, Tuperbird, Jellybean Man, and a clone of 1985 Glob.
And they were wiped out.
By saucer aliens.
Ironically enough.

Again, not the angelic scene Dusty was hoping for.

But, sadly, and oddly, the best the multiverse has to offer.

Now, in the background, if we pause and zoom in, as the third-stringer Superstar team was dying off, we can see a stick-man eating pellets of goat shit as they fall warm out of the goat's ass.

We've got a child with his eyeballs ripped out tugging at his mother's skirt screaming "mommyyyy!!", while his bloody eyes are being held up happily by his playful and adorable baby brother.

We have a vomiting video game blip interacting with reality somehow.

We have a man getting "laser hemorrhoid surgery", and getting his entire lower half blasted off and incinerated in an open strip mall window.
This is probably causing the blip to puke.
Or else, the eyeless kid.
Either one.

We have a bakery in the same strip mall called "Dridgerbread Man", run by a gingerbread man.
So...ginger cannibalism.

We have an invisible man sitting at an outdoor table in front of "Dridgerbread Man", wearing only white gloves, eating fruit salad without silverware.

We have a talking Teddy bear experiencing diarrhea at a fast food burger restaurant in the strip mall.

We have a humanoid pile of stomachs called Gastro The Intestinator using his bowel-kinesis to cause the Teddy bear to poop himself from a passing pickup truck.

We have a man at the same burger restaurant dropping dead of hunger pains in the parking lot before he gets inside.

We have a three year old child's crayon scribble rendition of the The Prodigious Mass looking up at the death of Jellybean Man in dazed confusion.

We have a humanoid pile of apples called Appletron with mouths on his head, feet, and hands (which are all single apples), that make apple crunching sounds, and nothing else.
He does nothing to help the fight.
He just crunches.
He just keeps crunching.
It's most unsettling.

And we have a man at the dentist, again, at the strip mall, and if we zoom in on his mouth, Super-Smile is fighting green clumps of filth inside the mouth.
If this green filth represents plaque, then this man must not have brushed, or even used his own saliva in 50 years.
If a miniaturized superhero has to clean your mouth, you've made several bad life choices.


Nope, none of this represents a glimmer of an angelic host either.
In all the dimensions, this is as close as we get.
Heckuva thing, when you really think about it.


Let's see....in the dentist's waiting room, is a children's storybook about a ogre who peels apart and rearranges the rainbow, and changes the world's colors, and two (now green) little boys have to ascend the rainbow with bubblegum bubbles, fix the rainbow, and defeat the ogre.
How sweet.

But only a brief respite, because, in the same waiting room, on the television, is "Grossey Mosey", a crappy evolutionary precursor to "The Krazyfool Show", and the host is being punched in the head by giant brass knuckles, cracking his head like an egg, and causing his brain to roll out on the floor to the screams of the studio audience.
If this is a gag, he's going way too far into it.
I've seen crazier stunts though.

Someone changes the channel, and it's a low budget public access outer space show about three space cadets, two men, one woman, and the leader is a mutant with bulletproof eyes, and a scratchy voice.
The woman says "asaboonie!", instead of cursing.
It makes no sense at all.

In another universe, this inspires Wayne Vance to play Planetary Patrolman, and later become Commander Continuum.
It just makes you want to die.

My cyber-self takes all this in sitting at a table at the playground at the burger restaurant with my tablet computer.
I sigh.

At the table next to me, is a man made out of cut out paper, and drawn in crayon.
He introduces himself as Ricky Recoil.
I sigh again.

Really long way of saying, nope, no angels.
I looked.
I really did.
I'm a living planet with a dimension scope.
Trust me.


"Dusty finally slapped on the JS mask, threw on his coat, and said "whelp, better hit the old dusty trail! Don't wanna be late!", with genuine pep".

Get it?
Get it?
Dusty trail?
Eh?
Eh?
....ehhhh...


"He flipped up the mask, and kissed Chokie passionately on the way out.
"Because that's what we do"".

*Eyeroll*


"Eidie rolled her eyes, and she followed after him, because he was her ride to her shift at Lovely's".

And guess what he played on the radio?
Fucking Round Dog.
Yeah.

Anyway, that was season 3 in a nutshell.
Bye.


Read More......

My Christmas Loot: Part 5, The Scars Of Looty.

• Part 1. (revisit)
• Part 2. (revisit 1, revisit 2)
• Part 3. (revisit)
• Part 4.

And, here we go...


Captain America: Civil War (2016)

See here, and here.

Marvel's up to date until Dr. Strange comes out on video.


X-Men: Apocalypse (2016)

See here.

Yeah, this one already ain't holding up so good.
Meh, fuck it, I still like it.
Shit, I've still got soft spots for parts of "The Last Stand".


Blade Trilogy (1998, 2002, 2004)

See here, and here.

The MCU wouldn't exist without these.
Blade led to X-Men, led to Sam Raimi Spider-Man, led to everything else.
Marvel has the rights back to this, they should drop the character into Netflix-verse, or ABC-verse to make him canon.
They owe him one.

Y'know, I've always heard that "Trinity", is like, one of the worst things ever made by human beings, but...eh, it's watchable.
I got entertainment out of it.
Oh, it's not great, and it's the least of the three, David Goyer is no Guillermo Del Toro, but it's got some fun stuff.
Neat that it has a pre-Deadpool Ryan Reynolds, and Patton Oswalt.
Plus, Dracula is now Heatwave on "Legends Of Tomorrow".
Lotta Kevin Bacon-ing you can do with that.

Yeah, I'm glad I have these in the collection.
After all the bonuses, I'm Blade-ed out though.
Phew, damn.


Star Trek Beyond (2016)

See here.

Much better without the movie theater talkers.

They're playing "Into Darkness", in basic cable, and eh, it ain't half bad.
"Beyond", is certainly better, but "Darkness", ain't as bad as Red Letter Media said, nor as great as I thought on first watching.
Wavey hand in the middle.
Anyhoo, glad this got me back on board the Trek.


Sausage Party (2016)

See here.


Aaand, I wanted "Suicide Squad", but it came out late.
I'll grab it someday.


And the rest was candy.

THE END.



Read More......

On the sixth day of Christmas.

Six geese a laying!
....in a fucking pie crust!!

(Still in tune)
Cuz fuck this shitty fucking year!!!

• Fiiiiive golden riiiiings!!!!
• Four calling birds.
• Three French hens.
• Two turtledoves.
• And a partridge in a pear treeeee!!!!

This year's stuff.

• Superheroes Six.
• All-purpose superhero/sf thread part 3.

Bam, done!

On to presents.


Read More......