Big Winter Movies Part 3. (Part 5).

• Part 0 (GB101:EATC)
• Part 1 (IT)
• Part 2 (Inhumans)
• Part 3 (GB:ATC:WDMC)
• Part 4 (Ragnarok)

At long last, after my whole 42 years of life, it's.....


Justice League (2017)

Previously on the DCEU....
(Chronological order)

• Wonder Woman
• Man Of Steel (first, recap, recap 2)
• Batman v Superman (first, second, blu-ray)
• Suicide Squad

As I said way back here...

"So, thus begins DC's phase 1 of playing catch-up with Marvel".

Full circle, thus ends phase 1 of playing catch up to Marvel.
How have they done so far?
That's for the next review after this.

From here...

"If Justice League lives up to the Comicon footage, they'll finally hit as hard as Avengers like they wanted.
I think it will".

Hmmm, I love it a lot, but it's not quite up with Avengers 1.
I'd put it....between Avengers 1 and 2.
Still pretty damned good.

And finally, from here...

"Speaking of pumped, I'm totally jazzed for Justice League now!!".

...and...

"Well, there, Justice League remains to be seen, but my gut tells me the problems with the DCEU are fixed, and we're good going forward".

I was right to be jazzed, and we are good moving forward.
Be fucking excited. :-)

Okay, now, traditional rundown mode.

• FUCKING LOOOOVED IIITTT!!!!!!!!!!
• Everyone was awesome, the interactions with the heroes were great.
• Humor is great. Every joke landed for me.
• Flash steals the movie like everyone says.
• Loved Danny Elfman's callbacks to Batman '89, and Superman '78.
• This wasn't just the culmination of DCEU phase 1, but DC going all the way back to Superman '78. We deserved to see all these heroes onscreen way sooner. 
• Stay for the end credits scenes (there are two), you'll fucking love them.
• All the criticisms I heard from non-spoilers reviews were blown WAY out of fucking proportion.
• Steppenwolf's lack of depth and backstory? Marvel does it all the time, and skates by unscathed. Didn't care.
• Weak CGI? I've seen worse in more lauded films. If you get caught up in the movie, you won't notice or care. 
• Lines that were supposed to be "clunky", they were little picosecond things that didn't hurt anything. 
• Jokes that are "misogynist", to Wonder Woman? Paranoia out of thin air. The thing they're complaining about lasts, again, a picosecond. It's nothing.
• Choppy editing? Didn't care. Didn't care with BvS, and it was more pronounced.
• "Nothing makes sense!". I followed it fine. Grow a brain. 
• Batman isn't "too funny". He is funny, but it doesn't take him out of his character, it's all stuff Bruce would do. They don't turn him into Lego Batman. Simmer the fuck down.
• Fuck Rotten Tomatoes. No, seriously, fuck 'em up the ass with a red rubber dick. The shit they pulled withholding JL's score to force you to watch their shitty new show (and it IS shitty) is the last straw for me. We can disagree on movies, and I can be frustrated with the sway critics hold, but playing games like that proves they are indeed petty arrogant assholes. Every bit the petty arrogant assholes DC fans always said they were. We're done, RT. We're done. 
• Yeah, I think people had their knives out already for this flick. Nothing but a re-animated Christopher Reeve and Adam West was ever going to make them happy. Fuck 'em. Let 'em be sad. 
• Also, Whedon may have added his touches, but JL was always going to be a brighter movie than BvS. Snyder said right when BvS came out that "BvS is Empire Strikes Back, and Justice League is Return Of The Jedi". The happy joyous culmination was always the trajectory they were on. So don't let your friends get on that dipshit bandwagon.  Call 'em out on it every time.
• The integration between Snyder and Whedon was seamless. It's all one movie. 
• Final ranking for the 5 DCEU movies...WW, JL, MoS, BvS, SS.
• Can't wait for Aquaman, and Shazam. Especially Shazam.
• Really excited for Wonder Woman 2. 
• Really can't wait for the stuff the end credits hinted at. 
• Another one for the "movies that made me high", list. Hollywood's really figured out how to hit my g-spot. 

So, yeah, if you love any one of these characters, much less multiple, much less all, go see it.
See it right fucking now.
Fuck the critics.
Unless they're your spouse, then stop fucking them.
Like, forever.


Next review, the DCEU list to go with Marvel, X-Men, and all superheroes.

Next theater movie review, THE LAST JEDI!!!!!!!!
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!