Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Happy 38th birthday to myself!

Last year.

Geez, these years are goin' by too fast....

Um...no gummi bear this year.
Think that was my big goodbye to candy.
Ehh...I'll probably be back to it.
Oh, all right, my cake was festooned with Reese's cups.

Had the party Saturday.
So...no one gives a shit today.
Well, they do on Facebook, so, thanks, friends.

But y'know, here in meatspace, not so much.
Oh well...

Took myself to see "Pacific Rim".
I'll review that next post, and link it back here.

Hmm, staring down the barrel of 40.
Couple years away.
Kinda makes you reflective.

I had some "what have I done with my life?", kinds of thoughts Friday.
That usual contemplative gloom I get stuck in from time to time.
But, in the end, fuck it.
I regret nothing.
Regret means you could have done it differently.
I really couldn't have.
Not without being a liar, a sellout, a phony, a bootlick, etc, etc.
And, my personality is locked in pretty tight against that shit, so, I couldn't have made those choices.
This is who I am, this is my life.
If some cosmic entity wants to step up to the plate and judge me "unfit", bring it on.
But I won't hear that crap from anything made of meat and bone.
No one who wants that job is worthy.

Yeah, every year, I give less of a shit.
That part of getting older, I'm really enjoying.
Immensely, in fact.

I'm also enjoying how for the most part, that not giving a shit gets reciprocated by society at large.
Buckle in, I'll explain.
In your teens, and a bit into your twenties, you get beaten over the head with that whole fevered ad campaign of "wear these jeans or you won't be cool, and no one will fuck you!", "wear these expensive shoes, or you won't be cool, and no one will fuck you!", "wear this hair product, or no one will fuck you!", "put on this gross cologne, or no one will fuck you!", "whiten your teeth, or no one will fuck you!", "act like the assholes on this show, or no one will fuck you!".
On and on, you know the drill.
And, even a little bit into the 30's, you kind of get "relate to the nostalgia of being one of these stupid fucksticks in your teens-20's, or no one will like you! Much less fuck you!".

But...by the time you clear 35 or so...it shuts off like a light switch.
No one gives a fuck anymore.
They just give up on you, and cast you aside.
They finally just up and leave you alone, and move on to the next batch of assholes.
I've really been enjoying that.
It's supposed to make you feel bad, but it's had the complete opposite effect on me.
At this age, they assume I'm supposed to be someone's boring fucking dad, or something.
Apparently, I'm supposed to be watching fucking drywall shows on HGTV, and having bland conversations about stock portfolios.
No thanks.
Bite me.

Yeah, these people becoming boring and lame in their 30's-40's?
They always were.
These are just older versions of the mediocre unimpressive people they always were.
That's another treat.
The front row seat to the middle age burnout of my dumb generation.
Bring me the fucking popcorn.
*Maniacal cackle*

Naw, fuck all that.
I'm gonna be potty mouthed, opinionated, rebelling, resisting, and flipping the double-bird at life until they cremate my ass.

What the fuck else is life for?
I mean, really?

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