Thursday, May 23, 2019

Meedyah Morsels #75.

I think I've finally settled on the perfect viewing order for the Fox X-Men-verse.

The MCU is a little bit tricky, but ultimately, the Legos pop together easily once you find the pattern, because it was planned out with a design in mind.

Fox....they've kind of treated continuity like a cute suggestion from a dumb temp.

Well, dammit, with tenacity, and willpower, and just plain cussedness, I've hammered the sumbitch into a manageable shape.

So, here it is.
How to watch the X-Men movies.

1. X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Yep, this one goes furthest back in the pre-Future-Past timeline.
Pre-Revolutionary War, then we montage through Revolutionary War, Civil War, World War I, World War II, Korea, and then Vietnam.
Then we end up overall in the 80's, and head towards X1.

Theoretically, the original un-altered "First Class", happens in the 60's of this timeline...but let's keep it simple, and skip right to X1.

2. X-Men

And the prequel setup stuff in Origins mates back up here.
Especially the flashbacks to Wolverine's adamantium origin.
The only glitch being Sabertooth being radically different,, fuck it.
We're just gonna have to eat little re-casting glitches like that if this is going to work at all.

3. X2: X-Men United

Picks right up from X1, and we're moving right along.
The Stryker stuff hooks right up to Origins.

4. X3: X-Men: The Last Stand

Picks right up from X2, and we're still moving right along.

5. The Wolverine

Picks up from events in X3, and the after-credits of X3 hooks up to the after credits of this one, which in turn sets up "Future Past".

But first....

6. X-Men: First Class

...we have to jump back to the 60's of this one.

As mentioned at Origins, this could be crammed in there before X1....but it's the past for both splintering timelines, and why watch it twice for the sake of two timeline branches?
It goes to one spot or the other, and it belongs more with it's sequels than the classic timeline.

Plus it leads right into "Future Past", which picks up from "The Wolverine", and "Future Past", references this one too, so...yeah.
The placing of this, and Origins is what fucked me up for the longest time.
Whichever way you go has a ripple effect.
I think this order irons out the ripples pretty well.

7. X-Men: Days Of Future Past

And then, this is where the second major timeline splits off, and used to make things complicated.
Now, I've got it sorted.
See "First Class".

8. X-Men: Apocalypse

And now the new timeline catches back up to the 80's, and cancels out Origins.
But, Origins had to happen for us to get here.
Time travel is funky like that.

9. Dark Phoenix

Haven't seen this yet, dunno how it ends, but we have had it spoiled in the trailer that Mystique dies, so it's definitely not going to mate back up to a duplicate of the X1, X2, X3 continuity for sure.

It can however still mate up to the "happy ending", timeline at the end of "Future Past".
Jean, Cyclops, Beast, Iceman, and Rogue were all alive, but Mystique was nowhere around.
Barring a huge twist like EVERYONE dies, it can still fit.

Assuming it does, then....

10. Deadpool

...happens, and catches us up to modern day for the first time since "The Wolverine".

11. Deadpool 2

Okay, things get a tad tricky here, but only a tad.

Yes, it picks right up from Deadpool, goes out of its way in the poster and within the movie to try to ruin "Logan", for you if you haven't seen it.

SO! If you're a first time newbie, watch "Logan", first, THEN this one, THEN on future re-watches, put "Logan", where I have it below.

And arrange them on your shelf in this order.

Also, there's an X-Men Origins joke in the after credits that only pays off if you've seen it.
So it's gotta be in there.

Another dark future is created and un-created here, but since it's all in one movie, we don't need to sweat it so much.
No need for a third timeline is what I'm saying.

12. The New Mutants

Like with "Dark Phoenix", this isn't out yet, but we got a trailer, and from that, we can tell that they're locked up in an evil prison/asylum like the kid in "Deadpool 2", so there's no reason it can't fit into that timeline.

13. Logan

And, in spite of "Future Past", and "Deadpool 2", we end up in yet another dark future.
One that references X1, so events similar to it happened regardless of how "Dark Phoenix", turns out.

And that's always the end.
And the X-verse is bookended by Wolverine movies.
As is proper.

And finally....

14. Whatever MCU does with them.

Which I speculated on here.

And that's the third timeline.
But by then, it blends into MCU, and MCU is its own continent.

And bam, there you go.
Nice and simple.

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