Yep, the first new Star Wars movie.
It was the test pancake after the 16 year hibernation.
And now we get Star Wars forever.
Like James Bond, and Star Trek.
As I said 7 years ago in "The elephant in the room"...
So, naturally wanting a return on that investment, Disney wants to churn these babies out every 2 years, instead of every 3, so that means, 2015, 2017, and 2019....which lands on the 20th anniversary of "The Phantom Menace".
That's...going to be an interesting milestone.
Maybe I thought I was gonna be depressed and/or horrified, or something.
Maybe be all "oh, woe is me, I'm gonna be 44 in a couple months!".
Nope, I made it through, and I ain't flinching.
I survived more traumatic shit than a movie getting old.
I ain't gonna piss on the flick either.
I did all that crap already.
So, my original review is in "I Love Star Wars".
And my re-appraisal is in "I don't h8 The Prequels anymore (Part 1)".
And, I guess this post will count as Part 2.
Now, I'm just going to philosophically reflect on the whole experience.
I remember downloading the trailer on dial-up modem for over an hour.
I remember being as jazzed for it as I was for "Freddy vs Jason", "The Force Awakens", "Ghostbusters: Answer The Call", and "Avengers: Endgame".
And now that I look back, nothing could have lived up to those expectations.
Especially looking at where George was coming from.
George wasn't looking to live up to 16 years of hype, and our childhoods elevating these movies to godhood status.
He was just making another movie.
Another episode in his serial.
And it was Episode 1 in his serial, so nothing happens!
He wasn't making "Endgame", he was making "Captain America: The First Avenger"!!
Or, if you prefer, "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone".
We already saw the "Endgame", of his original 6, and it was "Return Of The Jedi".
We got bigger and more dramatic and explodey and lightsaber-choppy in "Revenge Of The Sith", but that wasn't "Endgame", either, that was the sad last 5 minutes of "Infinity War", as a whole movie.
It was episode 5 of season 8 of Thrones.
Us dumb fanboys/fangirls wanted....well, three "Force Awakens".
George had no intention of giving us that.
And he told us so, and we didn't listen.
20 years later, and a Harry Potter saga, and an Infinity saga, and a Game Of Thrones under my belt, I finally get it.
And I'm laughing at the "The Last Jedi", haters, and the Thrones season 8 haters, because they're doing it all over again.
They learned nothing.
They learned absolutely nothing.
There's no learning curve with these people.
Their loss, and their self-destruction.
You can't save people from themselves.
Yep, Phantom Menace was the birth of toxic fandom.
....no.....it was the birth of toxic genre film fandom.
Sports fandom had been rotten and awful for centuries.
Movie and theater critics were rotten and awful, but they were in their own little clique bubble, and you could just not read their dopey newspaper articles, and their poison stayed on the page next to Charlie Brown and Garfield.
Phantom Menace was the first controversial fan-dividing film that got the full internet treatment.
Boy, weren't they lucky.
*Sad head shake*
But, now that all the bullshit has blown over, how do I look at the film now?
It's fine.
I might watch it today in remembrance.
It has its good parts, it has its goofy parts, it's the least good one of the ten we currently have, but weak Star Wars is still pretty good.
Like how "Iron Man 2", and "Thor The Dark World", are low on everyone's Marvel countdown, but they're still watchable films with enjoyable bits.
There's really nothing in the prequels they couldn't have substituted practical effects for, if a practical version of them had come out in 86, 89, and 92, with no internet howler monkey brigade to shit all over them, I think we'd be mostly fine with them.
There'd be nitpicks, but there wouldn't be this boiling hatred, and whining entitled "you ruined my childhood", bullshit.
The nine Star Wars films being spaced out over three generations has been an interesting little sociology experiment.
It's been fun being a part of it.
It'll be interesting to see how "The Rise Of Skywalker", goes down with "the fandom", and how all 9 saga movies are digested by generation Z when they all turn 40.
You were an okay little movie, Phantom Menace.
Flawed, yes.
Oh, Hell yes.
You just came out at a bad time.
The winds of history just didn't blow your way.
But, I think it'll all balance out in the end.
That's it, I guess.
Now, to retro-link this to "Happy 20th anniversary of Krazyfool's Den Of Delusion!!!", and "Happy twelfth Star Wars day".
5 comments:
Sheesh, GOT finale on the same date as 20th anniversary of Phantom Menace? Garg. I wonder how many people are even celebrating that? I did notice that GOT is going through this same agonizing death throes as the last season of LOST where everyone was watching it but decided after it was over that they all hated it. Fortunately I'll get to that later.
And, in a hilarious coincidence...you didn't notice that the GOT guys are doing an SW movie? You probably did and just haven't blogged it yet.
Or that Robert Pattinson is Batman now? (Go watch "Good Time," he's a passable actor now actually...not that I ever watched "Twilight." Or at least he was good in "Good Time." Probably nobody could've saved "Maps To The Stars")
Birth of toxic film fandom? Hmmmm....yeah, it's gotta be close, I can't think of a 1994-98 film torn up by Internet trolls. But I do still think TPM is a harmless little film.
Practical effects might've made that Gungan final battle look better, I think that part looks pretty cruddy now.
The CGI in "Fight Club" looks REALLY bad now and that was the same year.
This looks pretty interesting actually...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zymgtV99Rko
Nope, I've blogged about the GoT showrunners SW trilogy 3 times now.
https://dickynoo.blogspot.com/2018/02/star-wars-trilogy4.html
https://dickynoo.blogspot.com/2019/05/meedyah-morsels-66.html
https://dickynoo.blogspot.com/2019/05/meedyah-morsels-70.html
There isn't much to say about it, cuz they won't give us a time frame for it, or anything.
Pundit sites keep speculating that it's centuries before TPM, but nothing official has leaked out.
Pattinson as Batman- I keep WANTING to blog it, but I can't get 100% confirmation.
Every time one source says to take it to the bank, another source says Nicholas Hoult is still in the running.
I'll drop it on the blog the second Hoult gets eliminated.
Barring getting hit by a meteor, or donkey-fucking pics coming out, it'll probably be Pattinson, but I wanna be sure, cuz I've been screwed by rumors before.
Like the time they said Bryan Cranston was gonna be Lex Luthor.
And yes, I did watch TPM yesterday to kill time until Thrones came on.
The middle bits get talky and dull, but all that exposition pays off in Clones and Sith.
I still had time to kill, so I watched Solo after, cuz it connects to TPM by having Darth Maul, and connects to Thrones by having Amelia Clarke.
Yesterday had a lot of synchronicity.
And Jar-Jar will always be cringe-y.
But the other characters don't like him, so he's supposed to be, I guess.
But why have a cringe-y character?
Lucas said he's "the key to everything".
Well, he causes them to bring Anakin along, which causes him to become a Jedi, and to become Darth Vader.
And Jar-Jar helping to make a pact with the Naboo causes him to become a general, which leads to him stumble-bumming into accidental victory, which makes him a war hero, which causes him to become Senator, which causes him to approve the emergency powers act, which causes the Clone Wars, which causes the Empire.
BUT!!
Getting Anakin and Amidala together causes them to conceive Luke & Leia.
And Anakin saves Amidala from assassination.
And Amidala founds the Rebellion in a deleted scene.
And Leia is a big wheel in the Rebellion.
And she gets the Death Star plans to Tatooine, and Luke gets the Death Star plans to Yavin, and he personally blows up the Death Star.
Whereas, without Anakin being brought in, Amidala dies, Luke & Leia don't exist, Han doesn't get swept up into the Rebellion, and he's not there to help, Darth Maul would have stayed Palpatine's apprentice instead of it being Vader, the Death Star stays invincible, the Rebellion gets blown up on Yavin, and Star Wars doesn't exist.
And some other stooge would have approved the emergency powers Palapatine needed anyway.
Especially after Jango-Fett killed Amidala.
Well, okay then, Jar-Jar for the muthafuckin win then!!
Remember your Jar Jar post on Den of Delusion? I do!
AV Club talked to Ahmed Best recently, he seems to have maintained his sanity in the face of universal toxic hate, as opposed to poor Jake Lloyd!
Ta-daaa!
http://www.geocities.ws/fansnub/jarjar.html
I went into full TV lawyer mode just to see if I could do it.
I only had TPM to work with at the time.
My theory is he was an imaginary friend of one of his kids when they were little, and then when the backlash came, George buttoned his lip to protect them.
Poor Ahmed Best.
Jeez, it'd be funny if they redeemed Jar-Jar in Episode 9 somehow.
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