And I'm a week late, so....
Anyway! Round it up to a year.
The first pic!
Trailer must be coming soon.
The dude who looks like a cross between unmasked Darth Vader, and Bane is Dada Noe.
"Dada Noe" doesn't sound like a nouveau Vader, it sounds like a tweenage girl fending off incest.
...actually, that's scarier than Vader.
Nevermind.
Last time, I wrestled with who to cast as the hero, and where to place it on the timeline.
Well, that's been solved for us!
Emperor/Captain Georgiou meets a young Rachel Garrett; Captain of the Enterprise-C from TNG's "Yesterday's Enterprise".
Movie wise on the timeline, that makes it movie 6.5 between "Undiscovered Country" and "Generations".
And where that leans more onto the TNG side of the line, that makes it an extension of TNG.
But Picard isn't around, so the hero protagonist is Rachel Garrett.
If your protagonist must be a hero. If not, then Georgiou is fine.
Or, you can make it 50-50, and call it "it's complicated".
So, there we go!
5 comments:
"'Dada Noe' doesn't sound like a nouveau Vader, it sounds like a tweenage girl fending off incest."
Oooof, I laughed very hard at that. I should be killed.
I watched "Song Of The South" on Internet Archive, then spent some time reading debates and discussions about the film. I guess it's a self fulfilling prophecy--the basic idea behind the film is cringey-racist and false (cringey mostly because it was probably made with good-hearted intentions on Disney's part), but watching the film was a disappointment, it didn't make me want to puke all over my boots or anything like that. This is pretty much what I thought would happen. Just like "Salo."
Then, of course, one has to read debates between sobbing bleeding heart types who think the movie is the most ignominous and shameful thing ever made, and right wing assholes who get off on horseshitting and overdefending the movie as not racist it at all just to make the bleeding heart types even harder. No surprise there.
It's hardly a terribly entertaining movie, so I don't see much reason to wish it would come back (and it stars poor Bobby Driscoll, who I can't watch on screen without immediately thinking of Charles Crumb). I can't believe very many people would find it a "lost classic" or anything like that.
I also watched "Dune: Part Two." Y'know how "It: Chapter Two" had all those good actors and a big budget and the part where they all band together and yell at Pennywise at the end until he dies was still really laughably tacky and stupid, and didn't really improve over the retarded scene from the 1990 miniseries where they yell at that pathetic spider puppet?
The duel between Paul Atreides and Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen at the end of this film is like that. Instead of the retarded silliness and bad acting we got in the 1984 David Lynch movie, this time we get one of those boring bash-fest fights where the two of them go so hard at each other that realistically speaking, one of them would have been dead in five seconds, and the hero wins only because the screenplay dictates that he should. Austin Butler is obviously a better actor than fuckin' Sting, duhhh, but if you put the two scenes side by side, I'd end up watching the cheesy 1984 scene because being unintentionally entertaining is still entertaining.
I guess the rest of the movie was artistically passable, but it's really damned long and, of course, really damned cold. It's slightly better than the first one, but that's not saying much.
Christopher Walken, Lea Seydoux, Florence Pugh, Anya Taylor Joy and Tim Blake Nelson are all brought in to play boring minor roles that waste their talents. ZZZZZ.
I just might checkout "Song Of The South".
It was one of those movies I was supposed to see as a kid, but it got ripped away from me by stupidity.
Even if if it's searingly blowful, I need to plug up that regret hole.
The thing about Dune that its staunchest defenders won't admit is this.
The best parts are part 1 and 4 (God Emperor of Dune).
2 and 3 are a slog to get to part 4, and adapters never make it there.
And you can't skip 2 and 3. Its diabolically constructed that way.
Sci-Fi Channel came this >< close to getting to 4, but they didn't survive the slog through 2-3 as one miniseries.
People hated that miniseries, and that killed it.
A Dune 4 movie is like making gold in a super collider.
You can do it on paper, but the laws of capitalism just won't allow it.
I'm going to watch "Song Of The South" a second time just for surety's sake, but it's not really one of Disney's "classics." I don't really fault them much for not re-releasing it; it'd probably just get
That being said...again, watching it didn't really make me want to throw up or anything.
I mean, you could say a few good things in its favor too if you wanted, like Uncle Remus is a kindly old man and James Baskett that played him got a sort of special Oscar that year (poor bastard died a few years later, but oh well.)
Some people have a legitimate interest in seeing the film as an adaptation of old folk tales. I guess I can't fault them for that.
If they want the film, I guess the Internet has preserved it. It's on Internet Archive.
I found out that what they used to do with movies like this is apparently they had Whoopi Goldberg do a little live action bit at the beginning reminding people that the movie has some outdated things in it or something like that? I guess that would be considered a little silly today.
Something I noticed about the film is that Disney didn't just reuse the animated characters for Splash Mountain, they reused them in their films.
Bre'r Rabbit looks exactly like Thumper from "Bambi."
Bre'r Bear was reused as Baloo, from "The Jungle Book."
Bre'r Fox was reused as that fox that tries to eat Arthur when he's a squirrel in "Sword And The Stone."
"Dune" - I never felt like sitting through the TV miniseries so I didn't, but I did read all six books.
I'd say 1, 3 and 4 are the good ones, and that I'll be willing to concede that "Dune Messiah" is at least interesting in that it sort of upends "Dune" and casts suspicion and cynicism on Paul Atreides' "jihad."
Page for page I actually liked "Children Of Dune" better than "Dune," which I sort of felt could have used a bit of trimming (this was 10 years ago and as a sort of anniversary I'm mulling re-reading them.) I also liked that Children was 470 pages instead of 800.
Of course, the last two books were horrid and then Herbert died.
If 4 were made into a movie I'm guessing they'd do some godawful special effect to make Leto II as a half sandworm, and we'd end up with the 2024 equivalent of The Rock's face being pasted onto that scorpion.
There! Seen it!
The whole movie should have been Uncle Remus in the dreamland with the animal characters.
Instant fix right there.
I could not bring myself to give one sweet shit about the wraparound story of the white boy and his dog, and his platonic girlfriend, and evading his bullies, and his foul sour bitch of a mother.
Fucking ugh.
Well, you can't really call it wraparound, it was the majority of the goddamned movie.
It'd be like if "Creepshow" was mostly about the kid, and you only got 2 comic book stories instead of 5.
I kept pulling up the time counter, and asking "Jesus, when's the next fucking cartoon?".
Little-me would have hated it. He would have fallen asleep in the theater.
Br'er Rabbit's voice acting reminded me of Dave Chappelle's black stereotype voice.
I bet that's where he got it from.
Yeah, there was "problematic" shit for sure, but it kept edging up to "whoa, hey, hey, hey.." but not all the way to "aww, goddammit!!".
Notice the white boy had to be in jeopardy for anyone to care.
If the black boy got gored by the bull, well...it would have happened offscreen, and gotten a shrug.
I don't think the writers were twirling their mustaches, so much as kowtowing to "what the audience is ready for".
But...in my book, that kind of kowtowing is itself racist.
Anyway, there, glad I finally saw it.
Curiosity satisfied.
That was actually one of the biggest talking points from the anti-PC, pro-SOTS crowd--"none of the black people are bad people, only the white people in the movie are bad! Especially that godawful mother!!"
There are also people who try to claim that the tar baby isn't actually a representation of a black person...uhh...I d'nno, man. It probably is y'know.
I dunno, I took more offense to Bre'r Bear being a big lumbering dumb guy than the rabbit.
None of the songs were memorable besides the song's legacy, "Zip A Dee Doo Dah." I was stunned at how little animation there was in the film.
I forgot all about Ralph Bakshi's "Coonskin" being something of a riposte to this movie.
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