Inhumans (2017)
Previously on MCU phase 3....
- Captain America: Civil War (first, second)
- Doctor Strange (first, second)
- Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol 2
- Spider-Man Homecoming
Yep, it had a theatrical release, limited as it was, so it counts, even though I just watched it on regular-ass TV.
And it counts as MCU, cuz it references events in SHIELD, and SHIELD connects to MCU with Coulson, and Nick Fury, and Lady Sif.
So, here we go....
Meh.
Yeah, this needed to be a real movie with Disney/MCU money, or not at all.
This is just a crap pilot for a show that needs scrapping.
I mean, it's not horrible, it didn't kill my granny in front of me or nothin.
Rotten Tomatoes critics act like it killed their granny.
Nah, it's just not good.
This might pass muster if you sent it back in time to 1999, but we expect better now, and Marvel is the company that made us expect better.
This is a step backwards in the excellence us nerds have fought and lobbied for, and that's why people are angry at this thing.
I've seen worse.
I think "Iron Fist", was less engaging (same showrunner, BTW).
I think Marvel has seen worse days overall (90's Captain America springs to mind).
But for the era where we're about to enter INFINITY WAR, and they're about to do full-blown R rated Punisher on TV, yeah, this needs scrapping.
Cut your losses, walk away.
And pray to all the deities that this doesn't tarnish MCU.
Cuz right now, this thing sits at 4% on Rotten Tomatoes.
I'm a "fuck the critics", kinda guy, but shit like that gets remembered.
I'll put spoiler stuff that pissed me off in comments....
Next time, Thor Ragnarok!!!
Thankfully!
1 comment:
Okay, spoiler space.
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All right, so this thing is cheap, and the cost cutting measures are blatant as fuck.
Medusa's power, is she has living hair that she can control, and in the comics, it's got Hulk strength. Her hair can toss cars around.
That costs a fortune to render in CG.
So, what do they do?
They shave her bald.
With Target store clippers.
Even though in the comics, her hair is as strong as steel wires.
So, bald Medusa, they don't have to render that now.
Next, they have Lockjaw, who's a giant sentient Bulldog who can teleport.
They put him into a coma sleep, so they don't have to animate him anymore.
Finally, there's Karnak, who can predict and plan things so well, he can enter a VR in his mind, see the scenarios where he fails, rewind, and pause, and work out what went wrong, and then fix it in reality.
That makes him too powerful for a show, and uses up some bullet-time, so they give him a concussion so his powers aren't working now.
Powerless Inhumans with no teleporter dog.
Wheee!
Oh, and they're all gonna put on human clothes to go incognito, so even costumes are out of the picture.
No powers, no costumes, but they're in Hawaii.
Because the comics are in Hawaii.
Oh, wait, no, they aren't.
So it's Hawaii 5-0 with a comic book name slapped on it.
Yeah, no thanks.
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