Retroactive dead assholes.

Cuz my various bouts with grief and depression made me slack off a little.

Ronnie Reagan (1911 - 2004)

-Racist.

-Rapist.

-War criminal.

-Genocidal homophobe (see Larry Speakes below)

-Traitor to the constitution.

-Second worst president next to Trump, and only by a sliver.

-All around piece of shit.

Nancy Reagan (1921 - 2016)

-Married and stayed married to Ronald Reagan.

-Inflicted the "pull yourselves up by your bootstraps" bullshit on the poor, then looted the White House for everything she could get her grubby little talons on.

-Puppeted Ronnie when he was senile in the second term, and she in turn was puppeted by a fortune teller. Hey, wait, fortune tellers aren't Christian. In fact, Christians are supposed to hate them as witches. Fundie Christians have always been hypocrites by being in bed with Republicans. Always. It's not new to MAGA. MAGA didn't create this problem. Our chickenshit news media just refused to cover it the right way. They handled the Reagans like they were British royalty or something. It was disgusting.

-Only cared about AIDS  because her hair and makeup gays did.

If every other LGBT person died but her pet-gays, she would have been fine with it.

-Oh, and she sucked Frank Sinatra's dick. That's totally a thing that happened.

Family values, kids!

Larry Speakes (1939 - 2014)

Press secretary under Reagan.

During the rise of the AIDS pandemic, reporters asked him about what Reagan was going to do about AIDS, and Speakes was like "why do you care about AIDS? I don't have it. Do you have it?".

Implying, only gays care about AIDS, are you a faggot, huh, huh?

The bigots in the room guffawed.

This shut down the discussion. 

Because while Republicans are scum, our side keeps being infuriatingly wussy.

Basically, Reagan had an overgrown teenage locker room bully as press secretary.

And he wasn't fired.

Reagan thought that was just fine and dandy.

People that look back at 80's teen movies, and think the bullies are over the top; no, teen movie bullies were running the country.

80s movies are chock full of sneaky satire.

Because the official satirists (in the US at least) were also being wussies.

Larry Speakes should have been a scandal that strangled Reagan to death.

The administration basically confessed through his mouth that they thought the death of millions of people was hilarious. 

The media did not rise to that occasion at all.

They blew it.

They fucking blew it.

They absolutely fucking blew it.

Anyway, pee for your grave, Speakes.

James Watt (1938 - 2023)

Secretary of the interior under Reagan.

He's the worst human being you never heard of.

Gave away tons of public parkland (including almost all of our coastlines) to oil drillers, coal miners, lumberers, hotel and restaurant ghouls (basically, every Scooby-Doo villain), lifted restrictions on strip mining and harming endangered species, on, and on, and on.

Yeah, he made the shitty, ugly, garish, ghoulish, industrialist nightmare world we have now.

It didn't happen mindlessly by itself like weather as the news would lazily and passively have you believe.

James Watt did it.

The world of "mile after mile of mall after mall" George Carlin ranted about?

James Watt did it.

The evil has a face. Look at it, it sucks.

Fucking dorky Robocop villain henchman-henchman.

Getting back to movies being secret satire, James Watt is basically Judge Doom from "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?".

Oh, and he said awful shit about blacks, gays, women, and the handicapped.

So he'd totally be a Trumper.

Probably was.

If Ronald Reagan were an innocent little babe on everything else, Larry Speakes and James Watt would still be enough to send him to Hell.

But Reagan wasn't an innocent babe. He was a filthy rapey bigot.

Who hung out with other filthy rapey bigots. With glee.

George H. W. Bush (1924 - 2018)

Reagan's vice president. President after Reagan. Dubyah's dad.

Shitty at all three jobs.

Fucking war criminal.

Fucking bigot (look up the infamous Larry Horton ad).

The fucking media (at least the centrist-left pundit-sphere) wouldn't get his dick out of their mouths when he died, because Trump made him look sane, and they seemed to think by magically chanting that Reagan and Bush were "the good old days" it would snap MAGA-ites out of it.

It didn't.

They smeared more dogshit on their souls for nothing.

We need to get the fucking boomers out of the news.

Jerry Falwell (1933 - 2007)

If he were an innocent babe about everything else, blaming 9/11 on abortion, gays, and feminists would be enough to justify draining a septic tank sucker truck onto his grave.

But he wasn't an innocent babe.

He was a fat, finger waving, sexually constipated, hypocritical bigot all his toxic horrible too-long life.

Why bring up his size as an insult? Apostles of Christ are supposed to take enough to keep them alive, and give everything else to the poor. Fevered gluttons don't get to be Jesus-y.

Rich fevered gluttons even less so.

Republicanism is loaded to straining and creaking with rich gluttons.

And hey, I'm a fat guy, but I'm not raising myself up on a fucking cloud with a halo.

These fuckers are.

And Falwell is their banner boy even in death.

Oh, and he had his hands deep in making abortion a permanent political wedge issue. 

Not because he gave a shit about fetuses, but as revenge for Repugs losing on segregation.

Religion didn't give fuck one about abortion until this asshole.

The "pro-life movement" has always been fake cynical morality theater for the fascists.

And of course, the media tried to whitewash him, but Christopher Hitchens wasn't having that shit.

I could throw Nixon in there, but I didn't live through Nixon.

I lived through these fuckers.

And here they all are....