Third crack at Guardians 3. -or- So, superheroes....

AKA: So, Marvel...Part 3. (Part 1, Part 2)

AKA: I love the 30's 2. (Part 1)

I felt after part 2 that maybe I might have gotten it wrong like after "Dogma" so I thought I'd give it one more whirl to make sure.

I take it back about that soundtrack.

That's my only blunder.

I'll cop to it. Billdude. 😏

So, I was gonna do this immediately after part 2, but then Christmas rolled around, and I got caught up in my Hainish and Earthsea read-a-thons.

Then I didn't give a shit anymore.

But, I went to all the trouble to make and upload that graphic, and construct the start of the post.

So...I figured "what can I salvage?".

I guess it's this.

Starting with the point the graphic makes....

High Evolutionary in Guardians 3 is on pretty much the same mad scientist kick as David Banner (Bruce's dad) in Ang Lee "Hulk".

High Evolutionary is engineering super-beings for his perfect society.

David Banner makes Hulk, Hulk-dogs, and himself into Absorbing Man to rule the world directly.

Both villains want to be Gods. 

Daddy-Banner just doesn't care about the pretense of his subjects having the illusion of choice.

Even though it's another dimension, Leader has essentially the same scheme as Absorbing Man and High Evolutionary.

To "upgrade humanity".

At least that was his dream in the MCU "The Incredible Hulk".

I can only assume those are still his shenanigans in "Captain America: Brave New World".

Hence its inclusion in the graphic.

*Reads the spoiler plot on Wikipedia*

Eh....sorta. Red Hulk doesn't come from nowhere. Close enough.

Now, in Ang Lee "Hulk" Daddy-Banner gives this speech I agree with about military types barking and taking orders, and how all the wars have held back humanity, and civilization being corrupt....but then he loses the plot, and his solution is direct rule by Roman Gods, IE super-beings like himself and Bruce.

Then he goes all Absorbing Man, and the big dumb fight with himself and Hulk happens.

Then we're supposed to think "well, the military fucks up, and the government fucks up, but at least it's not Absorbing Man".

So, all of that to get to this point.

Not only are superheroes (typically) status-quo warriors, but you aren't allowed to openly express leftist sentiments in our popular culture without it being a villain saying it; and the villain has to tear down leftist values by going apeshit.

"See? He was a crazy commie all along!".

It's the same deal as Harry Potter vs Earthsea.

(Click the tab link, and go to my reviews of the two trilogies for that)

Same mentality behind why we got "Avatar" instead of a respectful movie of "The Word for World Is Forest".

Look at the Chris Nolan Batman movies.

Joker spouts Anarchist platitudes, but he's really just a terrorist for terrorism's sake.

Bane spouts Marxist platitudes, but plans to just blow Gotham the fuck up.

Ras Al Ghul is nakedly just some kind of anti-society "burn it all down" guy.

Guess The League Of Shadows are Pol Pot style commies.

But "libertarians" want it all to burn too. They and Pol Pot commies kind of meet on the ends of the horseshoe.

But you're never gonna see libertarians identified that way. Libertarians get to be Denis Leary in "Demolition Man". Fuck that movie so fucking hard.

Hey!! Howcome no one's telling RIGHT-WINGERS "don't do it this way though!!"?

No, they get fucking Punisher!!! And Rambo. And Dirty Harry. And Chuck Norris. And Mel Gibson. 

Right-wing heroes never have to sneak, and grovel, and apologize.

They get to gleefully run amuck.

Yeah, given that, I don't blame Gunn for Guardians 3 anymore. 

I think he had to be sneaky, and balance plates.

Troma gets punished for being openly leftist, and Gunn worked for Troma.

I do blame the leftists over the last 40 years who groveled and apologized in advance, and normalized being terrorized.

Like giving the bully your lunch money, and emboldening them to come take it again.

Going back to "Brave New World"; President Red Hulk is the same problem as Voldemort (again, see my Earthsea reviews).

The system isn't bad, it's just this one bad apple.

Lock up/kill the bad apple, and we get another 50-70 years until the next one.

And the next one, and the next one, and.....

But systemic change? Fuck you, commie!

Give me your lunch money!

Getting back to Guardians 3!!

The Guardians are pirates, and pirates are profiteers.

God for-fucking-bid you don't display your fucking capitalist bona fides in one way or another.

See again Earthsea vs Harry Potter.

And it's not just fucking movies.

Look at how the so-called "liberal media" beat the war drums for Iraq II after 9/11.

Now look at how they're covering Luigi Mangione.

The guy he shot killed hoards of people by rejecting their claims.

Probably thousands. Hell, some are estimating millions.

We went to fucking war over 3000 being dusted on 9/11.

This sick country had to drop bombs on hospitals over that shit.

Navy seals shot Osama Bin Laden in the eyes over it.

That was legally sanctioned.

Mangione takes out a precious white CEO, the magazines dutifully make him the ultimate super-villain.

Servile lapdog "obey in advance" media.

But it's "liberal" though.

It's "liberal"; yeah, right.

And wonder why pirates and gangsters are good-guys in this culture.

I just finally saw the Rick & Morty Captain Planet parody.

They pull this shit again. The leftie is a radical terrorist.

"Oh no!! She's killing poor widdwe coal minors!!".

I actively hate Rick & Morty now.

Rick & Morty is Harry Hembock if he kneeled to Rupert Murdoch like Anakin to Palpatine.

And every Captain Planet parody out there is the same riff.

Enviro-terrorism.

Rick & Morty, Robot Chicken, College Humor....

"See!? See!? We're not commies!! Fuck progress!! Fuck hope!! Keep our checks coming!!".

And the sickening part of it is, superheroes started liberal, and got stolen from us.

Superman punched landlords and billionaires.

Zorro was anti-cop. 

Weak-kneed creators and companies just handed them over to the right.

Like lunch money.

No one has the balls to steal them back.

Every now and then, a Ted Turner will make a Captain Planet, and then hipster pseudo-centrist-libertarians gang up and take a hot creamy shit all over it.

But!! Younger-me was saying this 13 fucking years ago!

Here's my Zorro and Lone Rangers rants from "I love the 30's".

Hence why I count this as a continuation.

(Zorro rant)

Hmm, defender of the poor and oppressed...we don't have a guy like that in our fucking culture. 

Not even to fucking dream about. 

We've got these superhero movies coming out, and they're great, and I love them, but...what are they fighting?

Aliens, and wizards, and shit that doesn't matter.

Where's the guy going after the IRS, and Wall Street, and...y'know?

The people that fucked it all up. 

Everyone's fucking scared, I guess. I dunno.

We could use a fucking Zorro now.

All these heroes came up in the depression, and here we are with our very own fucking depression (everyone's scared shitless to call it that) where's our fuckin' heroes?

Where's Zorro smacking around a banker with his sword pommel?

Where's Robin Hood looting an armored car full of bailout money on the way to some multinational that sold liar's loans?

*Sigh* dark times, dark times....but they were then.

(Lone Ranger rant)

...yep, this was shat out in 1981, and bad enough it was a miserable flop, but this is where they fucked over poor Clayton Moore.

They signed an injunction against him that he couldn't dress up as the Ranger at conventions to sign autographs and such, to the point, where they wouldn't let him wear the fucking mask in public in any capacity.

Nothing to do with money, or anything, just to be petty destructive dicks.

Just as a bit of lawyer prick waving to say "our guy is The Lone Ranger! Yooouu can't haaave him! Nyeeehh!".

Come on....

Well, their shitty movie bombed, so, they pissed everyone else off too.

If I remember right, they gave in, and left the poor bastard alone.

Like, fuckin, 5-10 years later.

Then he fuckin' died. 

They've never done that before or since.

You never see New Line fucking with Robert Englund, or Heather Langenkamp, or anybody over their convention stuff.

No wonder we need fucking heroes.

I mean, are these really supposed to be our role models out in the world?

Fucking douchebag lawyers that slap each other five, and go "Huh huh! Yeah! We picked on an old man! We threatened him with jail if he puts a fuckin' mask on!

We're awesome!"?

Is that what kids are supposed to want to grow up into?

What the fuck happened?

Jayzus!

It's now 13 years later. 

I naively hoped MCU and DCEU would tilt the tide a little.

No such fucking luck.

Hollywood caters to the right-wing scream-heads, and they still get called liberal.

We're not a right-wing country. We're not even a center-right country. 

That's a fucking myth I'm sick to fucking death of.

When you ask people about their policy positions without stating what side they're aligned with, the majority are obliviously center-left.

The most pseudo-centrist TERF-y asshole still wants their Social Security and Medicaid.

Yet we're browbeat at least daily by talking heads on the right AND left with "this is a center-right country!".

Stop! Fucking! Lying!

And now the CHUDs are coming after Star Trek.

A show that was created "woke" and they're saying it "got too woke" recently.

No, it fucking didn't.

Gene Roddenberry was a horn-dog who would have wanted the intersex orgies from "Coming Of Age In Karhide" on your TV set.

What we got was just what he could get away with.

If you think Adira's pronouns in Discovery would have made him cringe, you don't know anything about anything.

Be ashamed.

Hurt inside.

Oh! And back to Disney! ABC News rolled over for Trump.

Great. Back down from the rapist.

Good job, heroes.

You'd totally see Zorro doing that shit.

So, yeah!! James Gunn bland-ening and gloom-ening the third Guardians made me think of all this shit.

Especially after a head-full of Le Guin.

That pulled it all into focus.

And it makes Gunn's honcho status at DC all the more problematic for me.

I'm contemplating if superheroes are even for me anymore.

I dunno.

It's disheartening.