Saturday, May 8, 2010

Postcards from Podsville #29.89.

Captain Beeble, 4 extra lives, killed in energy crystal mine explosion.

Whistle-blowers complained of horrible safety conditions for years, nothing was done.

Reports included such problems as cheap rocket-packs with touchy controls, that explode when they run out of fuel, plus the company skimping on rocket-pack fuel, allowing for only 199 seconds of burn time to retrieve a crystal, to the consistent, seemingly deliberate placing of Crystal Processing Units at the other end of the tunnel from the crystal, allowing only 32 seconds to stabilize the volatile element.

Of particular complaint, the swarms of man-sized insects infesting each mineshaft.
"They just gave him an old antique raygun, and said 'you can handle it'", sobbed Beeble's widow, Sarah Beeble.
"What do we have the fucking Colonial Marines for?! He was just a miner!".

When asked about his title, "Captain", she replied "oh, that, that was just an over-inflated title the company gave him. Something to do with meeting quotas, or shooting bugs. He was so full of himself after that promotion, but in a good way, I didn't want to burst his bubble".

"Every night, I stayed awake, fearing getting the call. I begged him to quit, he wouldn't listen. Damn him, and his fool pride... Now I'm all alone...why? Why, Bob?", Sarah moans before collapsing once again into tears.

"Every other mining operation I've ever seen has inexpensive portable CPUs available to the miners, so that crystal explosions are never even a problem!", states Mylo Steamwitz, crystal miner from the Altairian star system.
"Also what's this with time limits? And one hit deaths? What, they don't even have heart-bar belts? Geez, they really need to get a union over there".

"The families of the lost 5 miners will be fully taken care of financially", stated Bob Connell, owner and operator of the facility at a press conference.

"Yeah, I'll believe that shit when I see it", said grizzled adventurer, turned activist, Dana.

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