Or, Post-Flash 2.
Spoilers for a bunch of old movies, and one new movie.
Abandon if you're a big fat spoiler-baby.
So, "Superman Lives" was a Superman movie starring Nick Cage, written by Kevin Smith, and directed/produced by Tim Burton that was supposed to come out in either 1997 or 1998 right after George Clooney Batman AKA "Batman and Robin".
It didn't come out, obviously, because you would have remembered that shit.
They didn't even get to shoot it, but there was concept art, design work, and Cage did costume testing.
Even though this movie technically doesn't exist, it did kind of make its presence known in a bunch of little pieces.
Here are those pieces.
The Death Of "Superman Lives":
What Happened? (2015)
The main story of how the movie fell apart is told here.
Features interviews with Smith and Burton.
And you can read Kevin Smith's script here.
Superman: Doomsday (2007)
Original review here.
Presumably in the Batman/Superman/Justice League 90's animated universe.
Tim Daley is Superman as in the shows.
The Toyman shows up in a giant mechanical toy spider.
An animated Kevin Smith voiced by Smith says something like "a giant spider? That's stupid!".
See, Cage-Superman fights a giant spider in the SL script, because the producer, Jon Peters, was obsessed that a spider had to be in there.
Smith was always grudging about having to write it in there.
Jon Peters went on to produce "The Wild, Wild West" with Will Smith, and that has a giant mechanical fucking spider.
So, we get that little gag in here.
Man Of Steel (2013)
Original review here.
Jon Peters also thought it was diabolically important that Superman (in SL, of course) fight polar bears, and that the Lucy (proto-human ancestor) skull be Brainiac's ship.
So, in MoS, we get a split second establishment shot of polar bears, and the Lucy skull is The Codex in this one as a little wink to the hardcore geeks.
Supergirl: Supergirl Lives (2017)
Kevin Smith directed an episode entitled "Supergirl Lives".
The costume designers of "Superman Lives" made the suits for the Supergirl series, and this episode had space hobos cooking a "Thangarian Snare Beast" over a campfire for food.
"Thanagarian Snare Beast" of course, being the name given in the SL script for the giant spider.
So, Smith got a second revenge on that goddamned spider.
And he got to direct a little piece of the Superman-verse.
Teen Titans Go! To The Movies (2018)
Nick Cage voiced the Superman of the TTG-verse.
He finally got to play Superman!
The Flash (2023)
Review here.
Spoilers for "The Flash" proceed with caution!
But you were already warned up fucking top.
Nick Cage Superman is in the flick.
Young again, and in the 90's test suit thanks to CGI motion capture.
He doesn't deliver lines, but that's what TTGTTM is for.
And he's fighting that goddamned spider.
They make it look creepy as Hell though, so it's effective.
Also, Keaton-Batman delivers the line "you want to get nuts? Come on, let's get nuts!".
Which was in Batman '89, and always felt weird and out of place, and we found out decades later in TDOSLWH was a Jon Peters line.
Jon Peters was a fucking weirdo.
Anyway, re-quoted here as a gag line, it actually works great.
Everything finally paid off!!
Nick Cage's consolation superheroes.
He didn't get to be Superman for a whole movie, but he got to live his comic book dreams in other ways.
Ghost Rider (2007)
Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance (2011)
As the titular Ghost Rider.
I'm not a super fan of these, but anything pre-MCU is retroactively fascinating to see the different styles they let the directors play around with.
Kick-Ass (2010)
As Big Daddy.
One of his best comedic performances in anything.
He does a dead-on Adam West impression whenever he has the costume on.
He's much more memorable here than he would have been as Superman, IMHO.
Spider-Man:
Into The Spider-Verse (2018)
Original review here.
As Spider-Man Noir.
Again, as with Kick-Ass, he's more memorable and beloved here than he would have been as Supes.
I think history played out the right way here.
And, there, journey is done.
I think.
I keep thinking it's over, but another thing keeps happening.
Who the Hell knows, maybe fans will petition for an animated "Superman Lives" based on Smith's script after getting a taste for it in Flash.
I've read the script, and I personally think it's kinda goofy.
Peters's interference shows, as does younger Smith's green-ness.
I dunno, maybe an older wiser Smith could patch it up.
Anyway, who knows?
Stay tuned.
5 comments:
In 1997-98 Tim Burton would have just been coming off the worst movie of his career and one of the worst ever made ("Mars Attacks!!"), Kevin Smith was a star but would let success go to his head and he too would make one of the worst films ever made ("Dogma"), and Nicolas Cage had just won an Oscar but was starting to cave into bad crazy performances and OTT action movie crap like "Con Air."
It would have sucked royally, is my guess.
As for Kevin Smith "growing up"...uh, I doubt he ever did or ever will. I'm stunned he's still around--people lost interest in his new films years ago, only a few diehards and critics who need to write retrospective articles about the 90s or Generation X could possibly care any longer.
You're probably right.
"Superman Returns" came out almost 10 years later, and as okay as it was, it still bombed, because it had to make back the production costs of both "Superman Lives" and a failed JJ Abrams attempt. I always thought that was sad and unfair.
Yeah, I know it was total rehash of Christopher Reeve, but still.
"Batman Begins" had dropped by then, and "Iron Man" was 2 years away, so the superhero landscape was changing away from that schlocky phase.
Did that guy who played Superman drop off the face of the Earth or what...Brandon Routh? I didn't know that the budget for SR was so huge because it had to make back other films' production costs, but I do recall the budget being reported as astronomical, and also several different budgets ($204 million? $260 million? $300 million?) I also don't recall much about the movie, just Kevin Spacey going "WRONG!!!" which became a meme for a little while.
I think "Spider-Man 3" was the end of the schlock phase, but that also blew the goodwill of the second Maguire movie, which got glowing reviews and was more beloved than the first one. Of course, it's making a comeback now because Maguire's little cameo in that last movie has everyone going back to making fun of "Bully Maguire," not that I can blame them. "I'm gonna put a little dirt in your eye!"--tell me Michael Chabon didn't write that one.
Brandon Routh was the vegan baddie in "Scott Pilgrim vs The World".
Then he was The Atom on "Legends Of Tomorrow".
Then in the big "Crisis On Infinite Earths" crossover of the CW DC shows, he was Superman again, cuz multiverse.
Then, they wrote him off "Legends" when Atom married a reformed villainess played by his RL wife, and retired from hero-ing.
That's that last I saw of him.
I didn't even know that stuff--I still haven't seen "Scott Pilgrim."
Last I saw of him was the hilariously titled: "Dylan Dog: Dead Of Night," which made about $5 at the box office and was immediately forgotten.
That "Tetris" movie is okay, but nothing mind blowing, BTW. I had to watch it. It does not mention the "Tetris murders" where one of the Russian guys who helped develop the game killed himself and his family in 1998.
I guess I'll cave and watch "Dial Of Destiny" but if it's not that good I won't be terribly surprised.
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