Hypocrites, Part 9.

Haven't unloaded one of these since last summer.

Americans and dreams.

July 27, 2014

Americans love to see dreams come true. 

But only a thin handful. 

Not so many that it would actually make a difference. 

That would be scary.

And the update...

July 27, 2018

Boy, I called that, huh? 

Look at the fevered race to roll backs rights gained since the 60's.

Liberals eating their own.

July 31, 2019

You know who's going to mock, ridicule, nitpick, and eyeroll at the Dem candidates? 

Republicans. 

They're going to do plenty of it. 

So, why should I do any of their work for them? 

What incentive is there for me to do their job? 

What, are they my pals? 

When did this happen? 

Did they drop me a postcard? 

Did they buy me a burger and a milkshake and kiss me on the forehead? 

Oh, wait, they did the opposite of that, they kicked the working class in the teeth, sabotaged public schools, sabotaged the treatment of mental health, and made my childhood a dip on molten lava. 

Fuck these people. 

A Saint Bernard with a barrel of rum around his neck would be better than Trump. 

I'm not going to whine about the Saint Bernard's breath. 

Let "Fox & Friends", do that shit. 

I'm dumbstruck by all the so-called liberals rooting for failure of anyone on the Dem side.

Really? 

You're gonna pull this shit now? 

You're gonna let FoxNews talking points slip through your lips without slitting your wrists with shame? 

Boy, won't this be a fun election cycle, huh? 

Whoopee.

These aren't real liberals, these are spoiled brats that want to protect THEIR own rights for condoms and pot smoking, but fuck everyone else.

Nazis aren't atheists, and the liars know it.

August 19, 2017

Y'know what I find fascinating? 

How these Nazis and Confederate assholes can so easily find common cause, and march together.

Confederates are Christian, and I've always been told by these Christian apologists and evangelical fuckwits that Nazis are atheist. 

Well...how could that be? 

How could Christian Confederates and atheist Nazis get along so well? 

Shouldn't the Confederates be scared shitless they'll go to Hell just for being around those dirty atheists? 

Here's the answer for the slow kids in the back, Nazis weren't atheist, the SS had "Gott mit uns", on their belt buckles, everyone who ever told you they were atheist were deliberate lying hate mongering pieces of shit. 

But I find it so funny how those lying hate mongering pieces of shit are dead silent now.

Where are they? 

Oh, that's right, they all voted Trump, and they're keeping their meaty yaps shut because they want their agenda pushed through now.

And the update...

August 19, 2019

White supremacists don't really believe anything when push comes to shove. 

Like the skinheads that buy their dope from the black and Hispanic gangs in "American History X". 

They're just goons that play at philosophy like a cargo cult. 

It's all whatever will give them a reason to hurt and kill people.

If you're gonna be traitors, you'd best win. But ya didn't.

August 23, 2017

Question for my friends in the UK. 

Have you got any statues of George Washington and/or Thomas Jefferson over there? 

No, right? 

Do you figure you would have let us have some here if you'd beat us in the Revolutionary War?

It'd be an act of sedition, if not treason, right? 

Okay, say someone put up a Washington/Jefferson statue, and for some dumb chickenshit reason or another, you let us get away with it for a couple generations. 

Wouldn't eventually, you think "gee, that's a dumb thing to have around, let's get rid of that...", right? 

What if us dumb colonials started parading around waving flags for this imaginary country called "The United States"? 

You'd tell us to knock it the fuck off, right? 

Yeah, I thought so. 

Okay, go back to drinking your tea and bangers, or whatever it is you fill your nutrition holes with. 

Just trying to settle something.

Applies equally to the Confederacy, and the failed Gravy Seals raid.

"Give him a chaaaaance!!".

August 26, 2017

Every time I slip off into a nap, something awful happens. 

Well, I thought the limit on evil for Republicans was "no fucking children", as established by the sudden shunning of Milo, but Trump just let go a guy who let go child rapists. 

So, I guess that didn't last long, did it? 

So, you "give him a chance", people, has he had his chance yet, or are you waiting for something else?

And the update...

August 26, 2018

Shit, so much awful Trump shit has happened, I can't even remember which pedophile this was.

Sexual sin isn't a thing.

August 27, 2014

Here's another logic train where it all breaks down. 

Let's say there is static good, and static evil. 

Let's say that sexual sin is a thing. 

Let's say that some people are born evil. 

Then, adding all that up, there must be born sexual sinners, who become perverted children who like it when adults rape them. 

This is certainly NAMBLA's case. 

If you find NAMBLA repellent (as I do) you have to toss all of the above bullshit that leads to it. 

Morals are a continuum, sex between consenting adults is no one's business, and original sin is right next to goat sacrifice in the nonsense department.

Shoot the brown kids, but leave us alone!!

August 27, 2020

(Reacting to a meme comparing Tamir Rice to Kyle Rittenhouse)

Ohhh, I get it now! 

My teachers and counselors always acted scared that I'd go psycho, but they were really just scared I'd kill WHITE kids. 

Ohhh, okay. 

THAT'S the rules. 

*Angry sigh* fuck this country.

Tucker Carlson and Charles Manson.

August 27, 2020

(Reacting to the headline "Tucker Carlson draws backlash after saying 17-year-old Kenosha shooting suspect "maintained order when no one else would"")

Tucker Carlson needs to rot in jail as long as Charles Manson. 

Manson never picked up a knife, he used his big fat mouth to egg others on. 

And, here's a wacky coincidence, it was to incite a race war. 

I guess the only problem Repugs ever had with Manson was his dirty scraggly appearance. 

You need to be in a crisp suit if you're gonna be a psychopath.

Seriously though, why is that piece of shit still on the air?

Genocide projection.

August 29, 2016

Whenever there's a big fucking genocide, the perpetrators 9 times out of 10 had a paranoia fantasy that they were the ones that were going to be genocide-ed, even though not one of their people so much got a paper cut, or a case of the sniffles. 

So, whenever I hear this paranoia crap from tinfoil wearing hate groups, I skip right to that they're really saying what they want to do to you. 

Pay attention, it could be important.

And the update...

August 29, 2017

Sure enough, the Charlottesville assholes were chanting "the Jews will not replace us!".

And the second update...

August 29, 2018

I'll always fucking remember, it's burnt into my soul, my (relation redacted) saying that even if you could 100% persuade him that black people were the same as white people, he'd still be for them being kept down, because "better them than us". 

I got his humor and scientific curiosity, but I don't know where the fuck I got my moral gene from. 

Relieved I got it though. 

Anyway, racists are shits. 

Paranoid, insecure, pathetic shits.

Fun fact: Tucker Carlson was recently caught spouting great replacement theory.

Except about Mexicans instead of Jews.

There's no universe where Christians are moral.

August 28, 2017

(Reacting to a headline about someone in Kansas state government being fired for not going to church)

Remember the time Superman fought an invisible monster out in the middle of nowhere, and had no proof afterwards, and every other superhero who doubted his story got fired from the Justice League? 

Remember when Superman turned the story into a book, and pamphlets, and forced everyone to read them, and then told everyone "it's not enough you read the literature, you have to attend the meetings", and whenever someone missed a meeting of the Invisible Monster Fighting Club, they also got fired from the Justice League? 

Remember that? 

Isn't that just the greatest? 

Isn't that so totally something a good guy in a story does? 

No? 

That's right, you don't remember it, because it didn't happen, because that's NOT how the good guy in a story acts. 

Good spot. 

Good for you. 

You're smarter and more moral than elected officials. 

Have a gold star.

Bigots then and now.

August 30, 2018

Anti-gay Christian bigots in the 90's-

"Equal rights, not special rights!! Equal rights, not special rights!!". 

Anti-gay Christian bigots in the late 10's-

"Okay, so here's all the special rights we want...".

And the update...

August 30, 2018

Yep. 

It's never been about equality. 

Theocrats want the whole ball of wax.

Anti-vaxxers hate kids with autism...TO DEATH! Why no outrage?

September 1, 2015

When did autism become worse than death? 

Cuz, that's pretty much what the anti-vax movement is pushing. 

They'd rather kids die than become autistic from some ineffable fairy dust in the shot.

Howcome no one's called them out on their genocidal ableist bigotry? 

How the hell have they got people duped into thinking they're granola munching hippies? That's one hell of a con they've got going.

Because autism theoretically threatens a child's ability to be a good little capitalist, and if you're not a good little capitalist, you may as well be dead, because even the granola munching hippies in America have fallen in line with the profit motivated way of thinking.

Because America is fucking horrible.

The teenage boy theory of geopolitics.

September 5, 2013

Isn't it interesting how "I have to fight, or the bad kids will laugh at me, and call me a fairy", is bad reasoning coming from a teenager, but perfectly acceptable from a nation-state?

Abolish Republicans.

September 7, 2019

My memory for history isn't the greatest, did the Democrats ever do something bad enough to deserve to be abolished? 

I mean, since the Dixie-crats marched out the door to the Republicans? 

The Republicans sure have. 

They deserved non-existence after Watergate. 

After Iran-Contra. 

After savings & loan. 

After Iraq 2, and Gitmo, and renditions. 

And now, the big shitpile of Trump crimes. 

As far as I know, there's nothing for whataboutists to really sink their teeth into there.

Doesn't stop them trying though. 

They typically have to go back to internment camps, and slavery. 

Before the big party platform swap.

And the update...

September 7, 2020

They're (Republicans) already dying, and they know it. 

That's why the voter suppression, the gerrymandering, the constant lava flow of lies to hold onto "the base". 

They're demographic dinosaurs, and they've been living on stolen time since 2000.

Parties can die and be abolished.

It's a thing we've done before.

You don't see anyone running as or voting for the fucking Whig Party, do you?

Also, their existential terror started with Obama, and that ties back to the Newt Gingrich post in "Coronapocalypse 5".

Fascists hypocrites? No, can't be!

September 8, 2019

Ever notice how the same people trying to revive Nazism, and who deny the Confederacy ever ended, are the same people who tell you "socialism has failed everywhere its been tried"? 

There's never any self-awareness.

And the update...

September 8, 2020

Yyyep. 

In fact, Storm Rucker was spouting that shit...as my introduction to him. 

From the beginning.

And Christina's comment...

And somehow Scandinavia and Denmark don't count because reasons.

As for self-awareness, oh, they're plenty goddamned self-aware, they're just hoping and praying YOU don't notice.

Fuck Bill Maher.

September 20, 2018

Okay, I missed this memo somehow, but apparently, Bill Maher, the guy who made a whole documentary about how much religion is bullshit, is kissing the ass of Jordon Peterson, a guy who says morals can only possibly come from Jesus? 

Have I got that right? 

I think I do. 

Wow. 

And it's because Peterson likes to mis-gender and dead-name trans people? 

Mega-fucking-wow! 

I would've thought there'd be a bigger stink raised. 

Particularly by Richard Dawkins.

And Sharon's comment...

So not surprised. Maher and Peterson are misogynists. 

Birds of a feather. 🙄

And Tammy's comment...

Maher is shit, that he occasionally stumbles over a correct position doesn't redeem that.

Socially liberal, fiscally conservative.

October 5, 2017

You know what lie I'm tired of? 

"I'm socially liberal, fiscally conservative". 

Mothafucka, conservative policies fuck over the social groups that you're allegedly so damned liberal about. 

It sickens me most, because in the early 00's I bought into that shit myself. 

You can't eat your cake and have it too. 

It's seductive as fuck to think you can, but no. 

It's not a thing.

That whole faith thing.

October 5, 2014

I keep seeing these dopey Christian apologetics videos (usually refuted on the atheist podcasts I watch) and the tone of them (if they don't say it outright) is that atheists are idiots. 

For it to be idiotic to reach the atheist conclusion, the evidence for God would have to be staggering, and his presence as self-evident as your hand in front of your face. 

BUT...if God is that self-evident...WTF is faith for? 

A self-evident God kinda spoils the whole religion then, doesn't it? 

It's the Babelfish problem. 

Yeah, yeah, I know, they're just lashing out because of feelings. 

Fuck feelings.

Well, feelings and dollar signs.

And dollar signs because of ego.

Which is a feeling.

Locker room talk.

October 11, 2016

Y'know, everyone I've heard the "it's locker room talk!", excuse from has been a fucking meathead. 

No exceptions. 

Haven't bumped into anyone I respect as sane tossing it out there. 

Haven't had that "oh, shit, usually you're so bright, how disappointing", moment. 

Funny that.

And the update...

October 11, 2020

It's right here we should have known they'd be hypocrites to the literal fucking death.

Oh, and by "locker room talk" I mean Trump admitting on tape to sexual assault.

Actual locker room talk would be "I'd hit that!" or "the attractiveness of this celebrity causes me to masturbate!".

Worlds apart from sexual assault.

I had a fucker try to trip me up with that little equivalence game.

And this person ostensibly hates Trump.

Bull-fucking-shit.

Every once in awhile you get these "smart" Machiavellian right-wing trolls.

Boy, aren't they just a delight?

"America is a business".

October 19, 2016

If America is a business, and corporations are people, and money is speech, then social programs are speech, and Republicans are trying to violate the first amendment, and need to be shot for treason. 

Or, Citizen's United needs to be repealed, and "America is a business", is bullshit. Whichever.

Cucks 2 (cucks 1 being in dog whistles)

November 4, 2016

The alt-right, and chickenshits who smear alt-right memes around but refuse to identify as alt-right are tossing around the slurs "beta", "cuck", or "beta cuck", and think they're really clever for doing so. 

Let's tackle "cuck", first. 

Obviously, it's short for cuckold. 

There are guys who actually enjoy watching their wives get fucked by other guys, and self-identify as cuckolds. 

Calling them cucks isn't an insult. 

That's their proclivity. 

And calling someone who isn't a cuck a cuck is meaningless. 

Now, the "beta", thing. 

"Alpha", and "beta", are artificial labels as part of an arbitrary scale for an artificial hierarchy made up by anti-intellectual dimwits. 

There's no real science to back this shit up. 

All made up. 

Play pretend. 

Make believe. 

Playground shit. 

It's like saying someone has cooties, and not knowing what cooties are. 

Now, I get what the INTENT of these slurs is. 

There's this idea that there's this thing called "a real man", and that betas, cucks, and beta cucks aren't "real men". 

You know where "real men", came from? 

Hollywood screenwriters and Madison Avenue pimps. 

It's a propaganda vapor. 

You know what makes you a "real", anything? 

Being made of matter. 

This desk is real, my hand is real, this keyboard is real. 

Y'know what makes you a man? 

A dick. 

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Richard Simmons are both men. 

And they're both real. 

As for it having something to do with traditionally "manly", traits, I guarantee you Rhonda Rousey could take any alt-right trolls, and squash them into salsa in front of their mommies.

And she has no dick. 

Yet she's more "real man", than any of those fuckers.  

And there are some pretty butch guys into the cuck scene. 

So, whence "manly"? 

Make-believe. 

Gender identity is a continuum, sexual expression is a continuum, and we've had great people throughout history everywhere along those continuums. 

By thinking "beta cuck", is an insult, that person is telling you they want to go back to a world where people were categorized in little boxes, and never let out of those boxes, to the point of despair and destruction. 

They're telling you they're on the side of subjugation. 

BUT, they're too chickenshit to do the subjugating, they just want to be banner-boys for the subjugationists. 

Which, by their own stated criteria...ironically makes them beta cucks. 

They're also telling you that they fundamentally don't understand how human beings work. 

So, whenever I see some clown toss "beta cuck", into a discussion, all I hear is "I'm a moron, and a piece of shit". 

Makes it easy to not have to listen to that person anymore. 

I put it right up there with "chemtrails", and "toxins", and "illuminati".

And the update...

November 4, 2017

Yeah, I'm not hearing this shit anymore, except from the most ardent and open Nazis, and the trolls that imitate them so closely it hardly makes a difference. 

The rest of the meatheads have fallen silent from shame now that the Tiki Nazis have become a thing, and gotten their hands bloody. 

Now the little game ain't fun no more. 

That's the thing, you play "Lord Of The Flies", eventually, Simon and Piggy really fucking die. 

How that goes, dumbasses.

And the second update...

November 4, 2018

Short version, the alt-right are trash, and their memes are lame. 

I randomly felt like being thorough about it at the time.

And, the whole beta alpha thing was bad science done on wolves in captivity.

I had a chuckle-fuck try to defend the idea as "it's proven science!".

No, buddy.

It's flat Earth.

You're done, son.

You're done.

Dennis Miller: Rudy Fanboy.

November 20, 2020

When Rudy was mayor of New York city, the hippies called him a fascist. 

I remember this, because when Dennis Miller swung to the right after 9/11, he said that he admired Rudy, and that him being called a fascist is what turned him off from the left. 

So Rudy being a fascist was Dennis Miller's villain origin story. 

When you're an SNL fanboy in your teens, the ones that go bad burn into your brain. 

Anyway, after Rudy's melting hair dye speech, Dennis needs a "why do you boo us? We were right!", message from the New York hippie community. 

Perhaps on a statue of liberty post card.

Creationists on the internet.

November 23, 2013

You know what never stops being funny? 

Creationists using the internet. 

If they had their way, we'd still have bones in our noses, and here they are playing with our science-y gizmos, and the contradiction sails right over their heads. 

For similar reasons, I laugh at free-market fundamentalist conservatives being on the net.

Internet grew out of fucking DARPA. 

The tycoons of the day never would have ponied up for the infrastructure of the early 'net. They were short-sighted dinosaurs, just like the oil barons, and American auto manufacturers are today. 

But I gotta hear "ohhh, if your product is good, companies will line right up to fund it. 

If it fails, it must not have been any good". 

Who needs television with this shit?

And let's not forget the auto makers lined right up for their socialist bailouts from Obama.

Not a goddamned one was corporate-fundie enough to go "I'd rather DIE than take a handout from Uncle Sam like a welfare queen!!".

Because it not about some high-falutin' principle, it's about "gravy for me, and not for thee".

Incels/MGTOW/red pill.

November 24, 2020

So here's the thing I find hilarious about incels, red pill-ers, and MGTOWs. 

There ARE women that fit their stereotype of shallowness and greed, but that shit isn't caused by the X chromosome, it's caused by fucking CAPITALISM! 

Yet they INSIST on being fucking conservatives! 

They ALMOST figure it out! 

Almost! 

It's like watching a guy through a night vision camera being locked in a dark room with the key to get out, and he keeps picking up the key, fumbling for the keyhole, putting the key in upside down, and dropping it, and fumbling for the key for an hour. 

Then he finds the key again, and does it again. 

He just will NOT put the key in the right way. 

He won't even THINK of it! 

I see video after video of these idiots, and that's what they all are!

Housing the homeless...TO DEATH!!

December 22, 2020

Something just occurred to me. 

Republicans hate homeless people, and they love to get people they don't like killed...so you would think they would put homeless people in evacuated houses in Love Canal or Times Beach.

Y'know give 'em some dioxin or radiation. 

Nope. 

They hate homeless people so much, they won't even house them to fucking KILL them! 

That's how dedicated they are to this whole "class and property" kink. 

It supersedes even their impulses for psychopathy. 

That's some really bonkers pathology going on in their little gobbets of think-meat.

Sedition fuckers.

January 7, 2021

You can't get any of the fuckers who approve of the sedition-fest to grasp basic moral math.

For example, if it's evil to saw your own granny's head off, then it's evil to saw Nancy Pelosi's head off. 

Villain behavior doesn't become good just because it's someone you dislike. 

Shit, even Santorum on CNN gets this one!! 

Y'know what Superman never did? 

Decapitate old ladies. 

Apparently Trump supporters see that as a DEFICIT in the Superman canon.

But the warning signal they couldn't do basic moral math was at the other Superman analogy with religious tests.

Hillary haters? Kill yourselves.

January 10, 2021

Something else I never fucking want to hear ever again. 

"The Dems fielded the worst candidate ever", meaning Hillary Clinton. 

Hillary wouldn't have gotten a cop killed, poop smeared on the capital, and us this >< close to losing democracy. 

So, y'know, STFU up now. 

Hang your head, fall into a depression that takes 10 years of therapy to fix, and shut. 

The fuck. 

Up. 

If anyone's still friends with people who unfriended me over the 2016 election, please pass this along. 

And if you're in their physical vicinity, slap them until their face makes the Rudolph's nose noise.

Biggest Rush fan I ever knew.

February 20, 2021

 

Biggest Rush Limbaugh fan I ever knew? 

A self-hating gay guy who was my mail-room supervisor at Hanover Insurance. 

He was a Lindsey Graham level toadie to his immediate superior. 

And both of those idiots were whole-hog into the nothing-burger of Whitewater. 

Had to listen to that shit from them at least half an hour a day. 

If I didn't know Rush sucked before, that would have done it. 

Oh, and self-hating-gay-guy was also a Madonna fanboy. 

I used to think even then "Jesus, pick a lane, buddy".

"You're not being a gentleman"

March 7, 2018

I remember sometime in the 90's, NBC had one of their news magazine shows go down to Argentina to find one of those old death camp Nazis, and they did find him, and got all up in his face, and he said something like "you're not being a gentleman", to the reporter. 

That's always stuck in my head. 

"You're not being a gentleman". 

From a guy that turned babies into hamburger. 

Fuck off, pal. 

I hold that image in my head when I'm fighting a Trumpster, and score a brutal shot, and they go all into flustered librarian mode. 

Makes the guilt they were hoping for dry right up. 

I pass it on to you. 

Enjoy.

And the update...

March 7, 2021

Trumpsters did this so much, it's called "pearl clutching" now. 

It was so pervasive, we finally had to name it.

Anti-trans White Knights.

March 14, 2021

Hey, remember how all these concerned White Knights scared of transwomen athletes injuring cis-women also loved women so much, they gave a shit about all the women who were harassed and molested by Trump? 

Yeah, me neither.

And Sara's comment...

Well, Trump has committed a lot more sexual offenses than the grand total of all the trans women who have ever entered a women's locker room. 

You can see how the reality-averse would find it confusing.

And that's those!