Cats and chickens 2- (Clovis edition!).

A new chapter begins!


Prelude.

May 25th, 2020

Good news, we're getting a new cat in a couple weeks (has to be old enough to leave the mom). 
Bad news, the owner is a Republican farmer who thinks the masks "are a joke". 
Worse news, dad's a coward in a the face of redneck peer pressure, and wouldn't put his on. 
Add another 3 week timer to the calendar. 
And another for when we go get the little bugger. 
Fuckin-A.
So fucking tired of this.

When we got him, the family were really sweet and nice.
I think it was a farmhand who was the twat.

Anyhoo, if we're all alive by June 30th, we're good.


Clovis

June 5, 2020

I've got it.
I've got the kitten name. 
Clovis. 
It was the hero cat in "Sleepwalkers". 
Which was written by Stephen King, who's a fellow Mainer, and major anti-Trumper. 
And King predicted Trump in "The Dead Zone". 
It's a cute name, and has an anti-Trump booby trap hidden inside. 
Just what I was looking for. 
I knew it would come to me if I strained my brain enough.

It also ended up being the mailman on "At Home With Amy Sedaris".
I think I'll tell people that's where it's from.
It's quicker and easier.


Clovis comes home (and vanishes!).

June 9th, 2020

Clovis is home! 
They let us bring him home a day early. 
And....leaving his mom, and the long-ass ride home traumatized him, and he's hiding behind the couch. 
We've got a hider. 
Haven't had one of those in awhile. 
I need the flashlight to find him, but as soon as the beam hits him, he runs somewhere else. 
He'll come out when he gets hungry. 
We've got his food and water out. 
He'll have to get curious to come out and find it. 
Just hope he don't poop back there....

And the addendum...

Still hiding. 
He's right in the middle of the back of the couch with a calm look like he's just hanging out. 
I'll let him be in his safe space. 
That'll help him acclimate better than yanking him out like a Disney monster. 
He was literally born in a barn, so he's used to hiding in crannies.

And...

Aw, every now and then he cries. 
He wants his mommy. 
And his doggies, and his chickens. 
Well, we've got chickens, but they don't know him.

And...

Oh, great....I was wrong to leave him alone, now he's vanished, now we're tearing the house apart...

And...

Well, shit, now I'm worrying....

And...

Behind the couch, under the couch, in the corner full of junk, under all the junk, opened every box, looked under every chair, behind the TV, in the bathroom, under the sink, in the kitchen, under the sink, under all the beds, behind my bureau, in the spare bathroom, under my mom's computer desk, in every window behind the curtains, and all through the cellar even though there's no physical way he could have gotten down there, and I looked for little tunnel holes where pipes and wires go through just in case. 
He's hidden really well. 
I wish he'd just fucking cry out. 
One meow could solve all this. 
That's why I'm worried he's squished somewhere.

And..

I got a can of tuna out, and I blew the stink around. 
Come on, you little bugger...

Dead or alive, this is a new one. 
Every cat has been different, but this is really fucking new. 
A goddamned Harry Houdini.


Clovis found!!

June 10th, 2020

Found Clovis! 
Little bugger! 
He slept from 10-3, then started yowling. 
He threw his voice outside like a damned wizard, and me and dad looked for him out there. 
Then, once we were out there, we could hear him in dad's room. 
Then we heard Ma talking to him. 
I ran inside, and there he was in the living room, and he saw me, and bolted like a cheetah. 
I found him behind my bureau. 
I thought it was solid wood all the way down, but there's a little recessed panel I forgot about, and I pulled the bottom drawers out, and there he was. 
Shaking like a fucking tuning fork. 
He doesn't like me, I'm the one that put him in, and took him out of the travel box. 
This is gonna take some adjusting for the poor little guy. 
At least he's alive. 
I can sleep better now. 
Time is it now? 
Jesus, almost 4.

And the addendum...

Every other cat I ever had hid because they were just exploring, and liked getting into cozy places. Clovis was scared shitless, and absolutely did NOT want to be found. 
At all. 
I never had a hider like that. 
When they don't want you to find them, they are ninjas.

And...

He's not scared of me anymore. 
I changed my shirt, and put lots of deodorant on, so I'd look and smell different. 
Worked like a charm. 
He loves me now, even showed his belly. 
The house still overwhelms him though. 
He's on top of the couch taking a nap now. 
I think the worst is over.


Clovis night two.

June 11th, 2020

'Nother interesting night with Clovis. 
Now that he's acclimated, he's a party boy past midnight. 
I had to lock him up in the bathroom. 
I put his food and water in there, and a nice towel for him to sleep on. 
His litter box is already in there as a tradition from the last 2 cats. 
He cried and cried, and I felt like shit. 
BUT, I got up this morning, and dad was playing with him, and there was a pee stain in the box. 
So, he finally drank and peed. 
So we're over that hurdle. 
If we can get him eating and pooping, he'll, y'know, not die. 
Slow learning curve, but we're getting there.

Addendum...

Ope, he just devoured a quarter of the tuna I opened on night 1 to try to lure him out. 
He's got a belly full of grub now. 
He had to starve for 2 days for it to happen, but we're good there now.

And...

Now he's up on my bed. 
Attacking the blankets, pillows, and any sheet wrinkle he can grab. 
And his own tail, natch. 
Hyperactive kitten energy stuff.


Clovis hide-n-seek.

June 11th, 2020

Clovis played hide-n-seek again for 90 minutes. 
He turned up behind the bureau again, after I'd already checked there 3 times. 
I think he really does teleport.


Clovis pooped!

June 12th, 2020

Clovis finally pooped! 
And he's a good burier! 
Wembley & Digby made me do it with the scoop, and watched me with sadistic glee. 
Anyway, now he's all hyper. 
As if he needed an excuse.

Not that I'm fascinated with poop, I just want all his little parts to work.
When our last two little guys got sick, it first started to show up as litter troubles.


Clovis watches Creepshow.

June 14th, 2020.

Clovis isn't bothered by horror. 
I was watching the latest episode of Creepshow the series, and a gore monster rips out of a guy, and another guy squashes it with a candy machine, and Clovis is sitting watching with rapt attention like it was something beautiful like a butterfly through a daffodil field. 
Like "awww, monster guts! Hooray! Tralalaaa!". 
He snuggled up and took a nap in my armpit after that. 
Cats and dogs are impervious to being visually grossed out anyway. 
I think that's entirely a human weakness.


Clovis pic.

June 14th, 2020

Clovis. 
Damn, it's a shitty grainy 20 dollar drugstore camera, but even with that excuse, he really is that pale yellow. 
He's on a pale yellow blanket, and almost disappears. 
I cranked the contrast as high as I dared to to try to get him to pop. 
His eyes are blue if you look at them head on, and orange if you look at them from an angle. 
I'm sure the orange will win when he grows up. 
When he curls all the way up, he looks like a batter fried shrimp.

And, that was week one with our new little fella.