Isolation marathon (Part 3).

Meedyah Morsels #235.
-and-
Post 17 away from 3000 posts!

This time, instead of my media file cabinets, we're doing Spectrum streaming!



Star Trek: Insurrection (1998)

See here.

Yep, they had it for free.
Not Nemesis though.
They wanted 4 bucks for Nemesis.
Nope!

I wanted to complete the set, but I missed it by one.

Anyway, I spotted Ensign/Lieutenant Jae!
Worth the whole movie.
IMHO.

It's still a hot mess, but if you can turn your brain off, and just enjoy the tension and action, it's all right.


Fast Color (2018)

Talked about this one three years ago.
Finally seen it.

Take Dark Phoenix, do it 90's indie style on a school lunch money budget, and with a female director, and guess what?
It's better!

Watch this instead of Dark Phoenix, is what I'm saying.
You'll thank me.

I think this is tied for best one of these I saw.
I'll mention when I get to the other good one.


Overlord (2018)

American soldiers fight Nazi zombies in WWII.

It's the dark opposite of Captain America, like "Brightburn", is the evil opposite of Superman.

Sadly, like "Brightburn", it plays out exactly like you think it will.
No surprises.

It shares a sub-genre of WWII based supernatural stuff, along with "Raiders Of The Lost Ark", "The Keep", and the "B-17", chunk of "Heavy Metal".


The Spy Who Dumped Me (2018)

Meg from "Family Guy", and Holtzmann from Ghostbusters are regular chicks who accidentally become spies.

Sounds way better on paper than the actual execution.

I watched it solely because of my Kate McKinnon crush.

Only every third joke lands, and it goes on for way too long.
Someone couldn't bring themselves to "kill their darlings", and thought it was all good, and refused to edit.

Yeah, now that I hear it out loud, that's what haters of "Ghostbusters: Answer The Call", said.
Well, fuck it, that one worked for me, this one didn't.
I didn't hate it though.
Kate still does her best with this hot mess, and she's fun to watch even on her B and C game.
It's watchable, but I wouldn't watch it again.
Nor would I recommend it.
Big "meh".


Child's Play (2019)

Watch Star Trek: TNG's "Descent".
It's the same thing, except with Data instead of Chucky.

In act three, it turns into "Maximum Overdrive".
Watch that instead too.

The only thing special you get here is Mark Hamill doing a pretty good Chucky voice.
It's not worth sitting through this bland retread though.
Watch him in something good.

Oh, and Aubrey Plaza is in this, but she doesn't do much.
Watch her in "Legion", instead.
She's glorious in that.
Especially season 1.


Downsizing (2017)

Terrible.
Worst one of these by far.

The idea from the trailer actually could have been a way better movie.

What we get is a pretentious mess.
It tried to say things about class, and environmentalism, and in-group mentality, and cults, but it never really gets there.
It never really hammers any of those things all the way home.
It pretends it said those things, and pats itself on the back for it, but it didn't earn it.

Nah, it's crap, avoid it like...well, like a coughing Christian.


The Falcon And The Snowman (1985)

I'd seen this before, but I wanted to see it again, and justify the review.

A true story about a guy (The Falcon) who saw the CIA doing crooked shady shit that had nothing to do with security, and screwed them over by selling secrets to the Russkies, and dragged his childhood buddy (The Snowman) into the scheme.
Eventually, they got caught.
I think they're free now.

In theory, treason against fascists is no bad thing.
It's just that the countries that hate our guts are as violent and awful as we are.

So, y'know, don't do it.

America sucks, but Russia sucks harder.

I don't shed any tears for the CIA though.
Fuck them.
Infiltrating unions?
Fuck you.
Nazis.

The Dollop did an episode on The Falcon that goes into more detail than the movie.
A lot of wild crazy stuff got left out that would have been great for the movie, but then it would have been 12 hours long.
Check that out here.

Anyway, this, and "Fast Color", were my favorites.


Swingers (1996)

The moral is, you can get over any breakup if your rebound girl is Heather Graham.
Sorry, spoiler.

Introduced the world to Jon Favreau.
No Jon Favreau, no MCU, and no Mandalorian.
He turned out to be really damned important.
From such humble beginnings...

So, yeah, consider this a Happy Hogan prequel.


Rabid (2019)

From the Soska Sisters, who brought us "American Mary", and then a bunch of disappointing crap.

This is better than the crap, but still not up to the heady heights of "American Mary".

A remake of the Cronenberg flick of the same name.

Watch the Cronenberg one, it has a darker and better ending.
The Soska's ending is something out of a bad video game.

Not recommended.


Indecent Proposal (1993)

Hoo boy....I dunno which I hated more, this, or "Downsizing".
It's really fucking close.

You all know the plot by now, Robert Redford wants Demi Moore's pussy for one night for a million dollars.

Look, set aside all the jealousy shit, and hangup shit, and all that crap.

You tell the dude to go fuck himself, not because of some "sanctity of marriage", bullshit, you tell him to go fuck himself because he's a creep, and you don't need creeps in your life.

A guy creepy enough to want your wife to be a prostitute is creepy enough to do anything, and it won't be one night, he'll keep right on creeping and skeeving around.

There's no such thing as golden treasure from the sky, or genie wishes.
There's always a dark price.
There's always fine print.
There's always tricks.

I don't care if you and your partner are swingers that wouldn't be bothered at all.
Go swing with nice people, not power-playing billionaire swine.
I can't believe there was a cultural debate over this.
It's really easy to solve.

Anyway, moral quandary aside, the movie is total shit.


Ferngully: The Last Rainforest (1992)

Yes, I had to see this again cuz of my memory of it in my food saga.

Does it hold up?
Fuck no.

Not nearly enough Tim Curry, too much Robin Williams being cringe-y by bringing his C-game.
And I couldn't give two shits about the stupid romantic protagonists.

Tim Curry's musical number is the only good part at all.
It doesn't last nearly long enough.

And yes, this is totally where "Avatar", ripped off absolutely everything.

I'll still take it over "Indecent Proposal", or "Downsizing".
In a fucking heartbeat.
Which isn't saying much.


Swimming With Sharks (1994)

Watch Frank Whaley in "Career Opportunities", instead.

Watch Kevin Spacey in nothing, because he's a pedophile.

Spacey is the Boss, Whaley is the underling, the boss verbally abuses the underling, the underling snaps and gets revenge, the tables turn again, and hi-jinks ensue.

Look, the Kevin Spacey character and the Frank Whaley character are BOTH assholes.
The movie tries to set up the false dichotomy of choosing the cynical rotten philosophy of Spacey, or the naivete of Whaley, then strong-arms you over to Spacey's side with elaborate contrivances.

If you get a Spacey boss, tough it out, or quit.
Preferably quit.
"Getting ahead", is just a shorter version of "keeping up with the Joneses", and that's a death trap.
It's like Redford and his pimp money.
It's booby-trapped.
Just avoid the whole mess.

If Whaley wanted to be involved with movies, he should have been a writer, director, or an actor.
Necktie executive shit is not how you get near that stuff.

This was clearly written by a liberal who got turned cynical, and didn't have the mind-power to climb out of the pit of despair.

That's what conservatism is.
Embracing wickedness and cruelty through despair.
It's the decay of virtue.
Ain't nothing "tough", about it.

Nope, I hate this movie.
Still not as much as "Indecent Proposal", or "Downsizing".
But it's on the list.


So..."Fast Color", and "Falcon And The Snowman", were my favorites.
"Downsizing", "Indecent Proposal", and "Swimming With Sharks", were my least favorite.
The rest floated in the middle "meh", area of the scale.


And, that's everything in Spectrum's database that I wanted to see at all.

Next up, back to the file cabinets, and I think probably Troma.
See you next time for those.


Previously with isolation marathon-

• Isolation marathon (Part 1).
• Isolation marathon (Part 2).

Previously with MM-

...but the plague had other plans, Part 9. (MM #234)