Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Comics that changed my life forever (Part 6).

Fuck it, let's go for broke.

Thor Annual #10 (1982)

Or, as I will now call it, "Raunchy Thor", the sequel to "Raunchy Hulk".

So, just two years after "Raunchy Hulk", my sexuality was starting to bud, and I was noticing certain things giving me a tingle, and then this comes along.

Fuck describing it, let's take a look.

Naked chick.

Naked chick and dude.
Wait, let's zoom in on the upper right panel there....

Okay, the rest could be explained as innocent and incidental, but there's no mistaking this bit.

Naked tentacle orgy before the Japanese made it a genre.
Truly, 80's Marvel was "the house of ideas".

Look, ladies, Chris Hemsworth's ass!

Anyhoo, this was before internet porn, and oogling the Sears catalog underwear section would have raised suspicion, so this is what I had to work with.
Give my 7 year old self a break, folks.

Marvel Two-In-One #100 (1983)

Another one from that magical year of 1983.
Something about 1983 was ground-zero for child warping.

Another one where descriptions won't do it justice.

It's the choking sobs that really drove it the rest of the way under my skin.

Anyway, this happened in an altered timeline, so the "real", Red Skull didn't go out this way.
But, if he did, we now know he'd go out like a bitch.
*Evil smirk*

Green Lantern #162 (1983)

Exploding kid, kids!!

I know, you sick bastards want to see it.
So do I.

Course, nowadays, Neil Degrasse Tyson would be tearing the science apart on that.

Captain America #345 (1988)

"Captain America?!?! What could possibly be fucked up in the book of a whitebread hero like Captain America!?!?".

Oh, just this...

Yep, Cap goes Hugo Danner on some right-winger militant asses, and stomps them into ketchup.

Now, before you totally shit your pants, that's not Steve Rogers Cap, that's his temporary replacement, John Walker.

Still...wouldn't you love to see Chris Evans acting that out anyway?
*Evil grin*

So, that's those.
I think that's all of it.
I'll probably remember more.

And, retro-link!


Diacanu said...

Also, as far as I can tell, Raunchy Thor invented the squirming moaning faces on the chest thing that got ripped off by Freddy 3.
But, Marvel did the Freddy comics, so it's all good.

Diacanu said...

Know what else I love?

Those were all code approved. ;)

B. D. said...

I'm obsessed with 1983, too. But I think that has more to do with anything due to all the cheesy pop music and spandex-aerobic vibes of the whole mainstream culture then. "Mr. Roboto" and Flashdance and what have you. It was also a hugely crucial year for underground college/indie rock and underground metal. But, I guess you weren't talking about that. All you wanted was a Pepsi!! (that's from 1983, too)

Still, though, that Captain America comic was one of the most spectacularly gored-up things I've ever seen from a comic book.

Diacanu said...

Well, yeah, I love all that other 1983 shit too.
Just sayin.

B. D. said...

Good lord, "Interstellar" was FUCKING TERRIBLE. One of the most awkwardly, badly told stories I've ever seen. The critical acclaim is baffling. I liked the "2001"-aping parts but aside from that, there's ZILCH for me to go back to in this movie.

Diacanu said...

Yeah, looks like they just took 2001, Contact, and Gravity, and ran it all through a blender.

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