Sunday, October 27, 2013

Masters Of Horror! (Alfred Hitchcock)

"*Gasp!* you wouldn't DARE trim ALFRED HITCHCOCK!".

Yeah, well, just you watch me.
I think I kept all the golden nuggets....

Rope (1948)

About two college age kids who kill their friend for the thrill of it, and hide him in a trunk, then a dinner party comes over, and they have to constantly keep people from discovering the body.

Jimmy Stewart is their prep-school housemaster who susses them out.

Really good for such a simple plot.
Whole thing stays in one apartment, and is all taking...and I wish more movies today were like this.

What's the big movie right now?
Fuggin' "Gravity"?
There you go.

Strangers On A Train (1951)

Thanks to the damned Simpsons parody, I keep thinking this one is actually called "Criss Cross".

Okay, so you know how I said in the "Delores Claiborne", review how real human behavior creeps me out more?

All the Hitchcock ones are like that.
Tune out the fancy score, and the technicolor, and imagine if some fucking nut on the train really did offer to kill your wife, and then didn't take "no", for an answer.
Holy shit!
Ideas like that will work forever.
That's why Hitch was the master.

Not a master, the master.

He's the emperor that rules over all these other guys n' gals.
S'why I went for that poster graphic there over several other choices.

Dial M For Murder (1959)

Ray Milland blackmails a criminal to kill his cheating wife.
Everything twists and turns from there into a rat maze.
Love it.
Watch it.

Rear Window (1954)

Jimmy Stewart has a broken leg, and wiles away his time spying on the neighbors with binoculars, then sees a murder, and no one believes him.

Fucking awesome.

If cable plays it, I watch it.
Never gets old.

The Trouble With Harry (1955)

A dark comedy.

A guy who everyone hates drops dead, and everyone thinks they killed him, and they try to hide him from the cops in various ways.
Hilarious as it sounds.

Fuck "Weekend At Bernies".

Yeah, I know these descriptions are short sometimes, but I don't wanna ruin the flick for ya.
All the gravy is in the picture, y'know?

Vertigo (1958)

Considered by many to be Hitchcock's all time masterpiece.

Ohhh...I dunno about that.
I mean, it's really, really, REALLY good, but..."Rear Window", and "North By Northwest", are right up there too.

I can't even describe it without spoiling the plot elements.
Um...Jimmy Stewart has a fear of heights, I can tell you that much.
Just watch it.
If you have the Turner stations, you should have fucking seen it by now.

North By Northwest (1959)

You know what?
I'm gonna go out on a limb, and fucking say it.

Better than the whole damned James Bond franchise.

Yep, putting my foot down, and standing by that.
Argue me out of it.
Go on, try.

Psycho (1960)

See here.

Hitchcock invented the slasher.

Oh, sure, lots of other movies had stabby killers, but Hitch brought the pieces together into what would become the formula.

The Birds (1963)

And, Hitch invented the "man vs. nature", sub-genre of horror.
For better, or worse.

Next time you grumble to yourself about the latest "Sharktopus", sequel, know that you have "The Birds", to thank.

But, also know, the pale imitators aren't fit to kiss the boots of one single frame of this one.

Marnie (1964)

Hey, speaking of James Bond, there he is now!

Another one with twists and turns I can't lay out without spoiling the whole thing.

Okay...Marnie is a crook, Connery is on to her...and things get weird from there.
Maybe even that's too much.

Watch it, it's great.

Torn Curtain (1966)

Famous for the scene where Paul Newman and Carolyn Conwell have to kill a guy by choking him, stabbing him, and finally gassing him.
The bastard won't die.
The knife even breaks off in him.
It's pretty fucked up.
You won't know whether to squirm, or laugh.

Frenzy (1972)

So, it was the 70's now, and this was the first Hitchcock film with nudity.

About a murdering rapist who kills his victims by strangling them with his necktie.
As he kills/fucks them, he grits his teeth, and growls "LOVELY!!! LOVELYYY!!!".

That catchphrase will stay with you.
Watch with a date.

Not one of his masterpieces, but pretty creepy.

Family Plot (1976)

And, here's his last one.

Wow, I was 1 year old.
That's weird to ponder.
That a Hitchcock came out while I existed.

Anyway, this is another dark comedy, and I can't comment on it, because I haven't seen it, but the consensus seems to be "not one of his all time greats, but underrated".

More or less.

Onto my watch list it goes....

Tomorrow, Edgar Allan Poe.

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