NLHH:DD: Wikisode- Harry Hembock.

By Paladin.
(With help on the data points by moi)

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Okay, look, this is bugging me...

Madonna can't sing, okay?

She literally can't sing.

The emperor has no clothes.

Okay, when she was fresh-faced back in the 80's she had a strong set
of pipes, and could hit those piercing high notes.

Go ahead, go over to Youtube, listen to "crazy for you", or
"borderline", or "burning up".

Real voice, right?

But then, about the time of "open your heart", you can hear a crack in her voice, the glass-cracking high notes are gone.

Then, by "like a prayer", the high-voiced Madonna is totally gone,
she's compensating with low notes like she's doing an Elvis
impression.

But then, by "justify my love", even that's all gone, she's just
talking, and panting like an obscene phone call.

And when she does "sing", the "songs", are meaningless fluff that any
little bimbo you could kidnap out of a mall parking lot could sing
them.
It's all little snippets, edited to shit, harmonizers pushing her
voice, background singers, synth solos, no actual SONG.

Skip ahead, "die another day", she's totally computerized.

Madonna can't sing.

Her one claim to fame totally died back in 89-90.

She coasted on her tits and twat the rest of the way.

It's all fake, people.

Now, I dunno if she blew out her vocal chords singing too much, too
hard, or from gargling whole bouqets of cock, I don't need to know.

All I know is people bought into a fraud.

And okay, so what, Madonna's all washed up, why complain now?

Cuz it's all gonna happen again.

She's already priming her daughter to be her clone.

It's all gonna happen again.

Don't buy the albums, people, don't buy them!
No matter how much your daughters and granddaughter cry!
Don't do it!

We can stop it this time!
We can stop it!

We can save a generation!

*Eyes well up*

We can do it...we can stop it this time...if only you'd listen...if
only you'd listen....*collapses*

Update-
My friend, Laurie, informs me she was ALWAYS fake!
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Song of the week #14.

My mood today on a glum Maine autumn afternoon.....

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Couple little Harry related updates.

Added the 4th cover to issue 4.

Added history of the Harryverse part 1, and part 2, to "who is Harry Hembock?".

Added the NLHH Dark Designs issues link to "the story so far...". Read More......

Harry Hembock cover #4 by Paladin!

Sweeeeeet!!!

Previous ones...issue 1, issue 2, issue 3.

Wordforge thread on the evolution of the cover.

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History of the Harryverse. (Part 2)

History of the Harryverse.

Reality version...

1977-1980-

As soon as I could hold a crayon the whole thing started.
Earliest character I can remember was "Jellybean Man".

Later on, as a goof, I absorbed him into "the P Team".

I think there was also "Garbage Man", a guy who transformed into a heap of garbage.
....dunno what the point to that power was...

1981-1982-

The random characters continued, Superstar pops up, as well as "the S Team", a team of guys with crappy powers that they're named after that all start with S, followed shortly after by about 5 other crappy lettered teams.

1983-1985-

My playtime down the wood road starts, gets retroactively cartooned, and titled "Galaxy Gaurdian", later forgotten, dug back up, incorporated into the Harryverse.
In hindsight, was the subliminal inspiration for the Harryverse to start with.

The Glob is created as a team-up comic with my then friend, Sean.

His guys were the Laserballs, lead by the Sun Beast.

Blowing up the Sun Beast became an important event for Superstar/Glob, so, I was kinda stuck having to incorporate that into continuity later.

Little queasy using Sean's guys, even if just in retro-flashbacks, but he made a knockoff Superstar, so, it balances, I guess....

All the crappy lettered teams merge into "the P Team", (the P is for power).
P Team absorbs all my old characters back to Jellybean Man.
Any new random character I come up with goes into P Team, it sort of becomes my "Justice League Unlimited", title, and what I work on when I'm not doing Glob strips with Sean.

Near the end of '85, I start coming up with my own transformers, because dammit, they weren't churning out the ideas for stuff like toasters, hair dryers, and pizza ovens like they are now.

I transformer-ize everything I can think of.
I turn out to be pretty good at imagining/drawing the transformations, eventually able to skip right to the converted robot on the first sketch of the character.

When I had enough of these guys gathered up, I figured screw it, Transformers don't deserve them, I'll call 'em "Roboton Defenders", and make my own little continuity around 'em.

1986-

More Roboton, more Glob, less P Team.

1987-1988-

Robotons fizzle out.
P Team just winked out.
The transition to Sweetser.
I pick up Glob and Superstar more or less where they left off.

I evolved Glob into a monster like the Hulk, or Savage Dragon, with claws and fangs.

In hindsight, Glob was a shapeshifter, like his form would make a difference....

I think the Superior Seven started to coalesce by then.

1989-

Harry begins as little written stories.
I was supposed to journal about my feelings.
Did Harrys instead.
Fuck the system, man.

Superior Seven truly takes shape.

Shreikh (didn't name them for ages, they were just these neat looking alien monsters) and the Roborg show up in their own little bubble, but I hooked 'em up in Superior Seven continuity later.

'88 & '89 I really pounded out the strips.
Lotta story covered in those.

The end of Sweetser, transitioned to high school, Superior Seven came to a dead stop.

1990-1993-

Started up Harry again as one-off strips in study hall, and it snowballed from there.

Superior-Seven-verse characters popped up along the way, converting it to the Harryverse.

Also, did lots of random filler comedy skit stuff, that got bottled up as "adventures in bad taste". Some of those are up on this blog in the "good old days", section.

1994-

Did a universe reboot to slough off all the messy continuity.

Particularly the Sean-verse stuff.

Heh heh...

1995-1997-

Mostly compiling of stuff into Harry album books.

Retroactively wrote all of the pre-history stuff into continuity, and wove it into one story even if I had to use timewarps to do it.

Retroactively killed off hero teams that fizzled out with elements of their own stories so it could have been plausible.
Y'know, for closure.

With the completion of all that, I was up to 7 volumes of Harryverse junk.

1998-2000-

Retold the whole pre-history deal through the eyes of a new character, Cache Ballard, to compress the story down to about 60 pages, then killed off Cache Ballard.

Incorporated the Cache Ballard stuff into a more concise 2 volume "best of Harry Hembock", compilation.

I use this set as my resource now.

By the millennium, I had transitioned over to internet stuff, wrote a little scene for my own edification of Harry rebooting the timeline again, did a 3rd volume with printed out Heck/Torrent/Krazyfool/NLHH stuff, along with with that as the bookend.
(BTW, threw a Cache Ballard reference into Torrent Too).

Lost track of paper volumes after that.

2001-present-

J-world, TrekBBS, WF, Shmegalamonga.

Harry Hembock: Dark Designs.

Rewrote the outline of the pre-history stuff from '97 as "history of the Harryverse (part 1)".

Wrote this one.

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History of the Harryverse. (Part 1)

History of the Harryverse.

Continuity version...


Event one, to 4 billion years ago-

The event known as The Big Bang occurs.
The universe is born.

Some time in the microscopic fraction of that moment, an energy pattern resembling a neural structure forms, and expands into a massive cloud of living energy.

At about the first actual full second, this "mind", splits via a sort of mitosis, into its "good", and "evil", halves.

These aspects battle each other within the stretched out time of the warp field of the universe's creation.
During this time warp, the first stars are born, the heavier elements are forged, the second generation of stars is born, planets form, the Earth is born, and the first microscopic organic life on Earth is born.

All of this passes as a matter of relative minutes for the two entities.


3.7 billion years ago-

The two entities burst free into normal time, and arrive in what we understand as the universe.

As part of their life cycle, the two entities scatter their version of spermatic material into various galaxies.
These "spores", go on to grow into smaller intelligences, that pose as deities on various planets, including Earth.

Weakened by their battle, and the expulsion of their reproductive matter, the entities seek to replenish themselves on two large stars, and merge with them so successfully, they BECOME their stars.

Over the millenia, the reproduction cycle, now fueled by the absorbed stars repeats, the "good", star giving rise to a race of benevolant hyper-intelligent energy beings, the "evil", star giving rise to a barely sentient species of energy forms more akin to a military weapon system.

The "evil", star would later be labeled by humans with the primitive moniker "the sun beast", and its robot-like minions "laser balls".

The "good", star's energy beings become the manifestation of their home-world's intelligence, so it never takes an identity, much less a name.
These beings resemble sapient starfish made of plasma and light, and get the moniker of simply "stars", from humans when contact is later made.

Subconsciously spurred on by the prior conflict of the original intelligences, the Stars, and the SunBeast/Laserballs learn of each other, and erupt into galactic war.

In the course of this great battle, many Stars and Laserballs are destroyed, and ultimately, the Star homeworld/star is destroyed, the Stars scatter across the universe, and establish colonies across various smaller stars throughout the Milky Way galaxy, including Earth's sun.

The Stars in the sun's core lay low in hibernation for millenia.


Approx 50,000 years BCE-

Members of the originall spawning cycle of the great entities arrive on Earth, read the minds of primitive human beings, and based on their dreams, myths, and superstitious fears/desires, pose as their deities, and begin shaping their civilizations.


3,000-800 years BCE-

The Egyptian and Roman civilizations coalesce, rise, and ultimately come in contact.

Along the way, their respective deities pass to human beings not only science and maths, but the secrets of manipulation of quantum fields, to produce various matter conversion effects, and enhancement of chemical reactions.
This particular science becomes superstitiously known as "magic", and/or "alchemy", and its practioners known as "wizards", "magicians", and "sorcerers".
These secrets pass covertly throughout the ages, soon becoming drowned out by more conventional sciences.


2,???-800 BCE-

An Egyptian wizard becomes so powerful and wicked, the court sorcerers are forced to combine their resources, and skills, and banish him to a parrallel netherworld.

This wizard is later reintegrated out in deep space by the teleporter system of an advanced alien race.

The wizard combines his magic with their technolgy, rises up and seizes their ship, then wins space battle after space battle, builds up a fleet of stolen ships, forges various alliances into a patchwork confederation, and becomes the galactic overlord, Vornoroth.

Vornoroth then aims his fleet back towards Earth to extract his revenge.


600 AD-

A magic-tech energy weapon falls through a temporal vortex from the future, merges with an iron rich stone, and becomes the sword Excalibur.

Excalibur chooses Arthur Pendragon, genetically bonds to him, and passes this link down to his descendants.

Arthur's genetic line would give rise many centuries later to one Harry Hembock.


1975-1980 AD-

Members of the Roboton race of transforming robots fall through a temporal vortex from the future, crash land on Earth, and go into hibernation.

Members of the Slarrg confenderation of shapeshifting lizard beings follow the Robotons through the vortex, pose as humans, found Chemomess Industries, use the resources of the company to locate, and reverse-engineer, Roboton tech, aiding in the technological explosion of the late 20th century.

The Blickley family, descended from Vornoroth, and keeper of his mystical secrets, merges their company with Chemomess, and become upper echelon members of its executive board.


1982 AD-

The Star race awakens from its hibernation, and seeing the distressing state of humanity, sends their greatest champion to assist them.

The being, upon arrival, discovers a Superman comic book, and uses matter transformation to take on aspects of the character's appearance, becoming Superstar.
Superstar begins his crimefighting career shortly after.


1983-1984 AD-

Chemomess industries, being irresponsible with human life, causes various ecological accidents which create numerous mutant super beings.

Various of these super beings go on to fight crime, learn of each other, and combine their efforts into the group known as "The P Team".

The Sun Beast learns of Superstar's presence on Earth, sends a contingent of Laserballs to investigate.

Jonathan Parks, a worker at Chemomess, has a lab accident that transforms him into the shapeshifting slime known as "The Glob".

A space police officer, and an evil wizard, Dr. Demonic, fall through a temporal vortex from the future.
The officer uses a stolen (from Dr. Demonic) magic-tech energy sword, goes under the name "Galaxy Gaurdian", fights Dr. Demonic instigated crimes, and henchmen, ultimately, re-opens the vortex, gets flung back in time again to the 1960's, becomes Harry Hembock's father.

Dr. Demonic, sucked up the same vortex, goes forward to the 1990's is killed by Harry Hembock.

The sword goes back to 600 AD, becomes Excalibur.


1985-1986 AD-

Laserballs attack Earth, Glob destroys/devours severall, gains his power of laser vision as a result.

Glob and Superstar join forces, destroy all of the Laserballs on Earth, combine their powers, and (with the aid of the P Team, and the entire Star Race) destroy the Sun Beast, an event which inadvertently, and unkowningly, creates the temporal vortex, a door in time that sucks even itself up, manifesting itself across history as multiple simultaneous time doors, causing various predestination paradoxes.

The Roboton awaken, instantly absorb English as a language, and remodel themselves to disguise as human vehicles and devices.
They're able to discern Slarrgs disguised as humans, and begin eradicating them.
This is percieved by the general populace as the murder of innocent human beings, so their camoflage disguises come in handy.

The Slarrgs within Chemomess engineer a robotic assassin to finish off the Robotons one by one.
It succeeds.

The human military, with aquired Roboton tech of their own, engineer a similar assassin droid who goes rogue, and destoys the base of the P Team, killing all inside.
The original age of heroes ends.

The two assassin droids destroy each other.

Chemomess absorbs the tech of all of the dead robots, Roboton or otherwise, soon unlocks the secrets of cyborgs.


1987-1988 AD-

Glob and Superstar continue their crimefighting careers solo, with occasional teamups.

Glob goes under the alternate egos of "Monster G.I.", and later, "Lieutenant Parks", when aboard the orbital fast food franchise the "U.S.S. Burger Boy".


1989 AD-

Harry Hembock undergoes his superhero origin, begins his crimefighting career as Harry Hembock: Hurt Hero.

Glob, Superstar, Marvin The Metamorph (a shapeshifting mutli-tool turned sentient), Robo-BoBo (a cyborg), Street Fight Pumpkin (a mutated human vegetable hybrid skilled in martial arts), George Ginespurn (an inventor), and The Twinkie (a twinkie mutated with every form of radiation, toxic waste, DNA manipulation, cybernetics, etc, with a ridiculously long trend-comics name too long to print here), form the team "The Superior Seven".

The Roborg, and the Shreikh, arrive from the future via the temporal vortex, begin immediatly battling each other, causing mass devastation.

The Superior Seven ally themselves with the Roborg, gain massive tech upgrades from them, aid in the decimation of the Shreikh.

The evil scientist, Brian Robber, becomes the official villain of Glob, Superior Seven, allies with the Shriekh.

The Shriekh with Brian Robber's help, wipe out the Roborg.

The Superior Seven wittle the Shriekh down to a small handfull that go into hiding.

Brian Robber constructs a power nullifier gun that can kill all super powered beings, wipes out all of the Superior Seven but Glob and Superstar, Glob kills Brian Robber, loses his powers, reverts to Jonathan Parks.

Superstar, distraught at the loss of his comrades, retreats into outer space.

Jonathan Parks, distraught at the loss of his powers, and fame, commits suicide.

Second age of heroes ends.

1990-1993 AD-

Harry Hembock rises up into a respected superhero, asborbs the tech of the Superior Seven, meets up with several allies, including Spruce, Dr. Spray, etc, creates Hembug, Omneron.

Harry and friends finish off the Shriekh, kill Dr. Demonic, Vornoroth, Nick Blickley, and others.

Harry destroys Chemomess, burns it down, becomes a fugitive.

Harry rediscovers his father's base, equipment, continues his legacy.

Harry saves enough people/shit to be pardoned.


21?? AD-

Mankind expands out into space, space police formed.

An order of Blickley/Vornoroth descended/inspired mystics forms an order lead by the future Dr. Demonic.

A temporal vortex sucks up Dr. Demonic, and a hapless space police officer sent to arrest him.


22?? AD-

Chemomess's original work in cybernetics has been continued by various other corporate entities, and pays off, humanity becomes relentlessly cyborg, culminating into total prosthesis.

Technological and magical humans schism.

28?? AD-

Prosthetic mankind become the Roboton.

The magical humans transfrom themselves to the point they forget their humanity, become the Slarrg, start a war with the Roboton.

Several Roboton, Slarrg, fall through a temporal vortex to the past.

3??? AD-

Roboton evolve into the the nano-biological Roborg.

Several Roborg fall back in time through the temporal vortex.

35?? AD-

Several Roborg cross breed with Slarrg, resultant crossbreed evolves into the Shreikh, several Shreikh fall back in time through the temporal vortex, initiate war with the Roborg, fall back in time again to the 20th century along with some of the Roborg.

4??? AD to the end of time-

Shreikh technolgy catches back up to the level of Roborg, Shriekh evolve back up to a cybernetic humanity.

Cybernetic humanity uses ultimately perfected teleport/conversion technology to transfrom themselves to humanoid Stars.

NuStars merge into a Reverse-Sun-Beast, merge with the temporal vortex, create a counter time warp, create the Big Crunch, merge with the Big Crunch, set off the next Big Bang, fuse the timeline into a loop.

NuStar-humanity-entity passes through the Big Bang, is split into the two entities again.

It all starts over with the past as the blueprint.


1994 AD-

Harry Hembock becomes aware of the cyclical nature of the universe, doesn't like its implications, creates a singletron bomb, creates his own open universe, shrinks down into it via a jury-rigged teleport.


Second timeline-

1989-1994 AD

Most of the same events surrounding Harry Hembock occur, but without the temporal goobledygook, and useless crappy ancillary characters.


1996-1997 AD

Harry has a few more sporadic episodes, defeats an evil version of himself, mostly retires.


1998-2000-

Thin sprinkle of sporadic episodes, retroactive "lost episodes", rushing through commentary on the closing years of 1990's pop culture.

Harry, displeased with how the 1990's turned out, uses a rigged teleporter to go back, create yet a third timeline.


Third Timeline-

2001-2010-

The "Nobody Loves Harry Hembock", universe.


2011 and beyond-

Harry merges with the second timeline, gets back many of its plot elements.

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