Superhero Flicks, Part 3.5: Miscellaneous DCs (Part 2, TV)

Well, that last one took care of Marvel's snouts & asses, let's go back, and do DC's.

Hmm, DC has a couple lucky spots with these...but there's some horrendous shit in here that cancels it back out...

Well, nothin to do, but roll up my sleeves, and dig in....


Superman and the Molemen

The film-

Yeah, I said in the Batman one about the Superman one I haven't seen this, but, it's sort of a retroactive backdoor pilot to the George Reeves show, so, I'll use this entry to talk about that.
See below.

The history-

Nickelodeon played this, (and the Adam West Batman) for awhile.
I really got a kick out of it.
It captured the comic, George was a sincere Supes, if you showed it to little kids of today, they might still like it.
If the flick was anything like the show, it was probably entertaining.
I hear tell that the storyline had a disguised message of ethnic tolerance, which, was pretty gutsy to do in a flick back in those days.
But, Supes was always on the cutting edge of equality, the radio show had him going after the KKK.
Not a generic version either, the real fuggin' KKK.
Way to go, Superman!


Batgirl

The pilot-

Ssss, you little minx, gawdDAWN!

So, yeah, Wiki can't seem to make up its mind if the Batgirl short film is a pilot, or not, and if it's a sorta-pilot, if it bumps her first Batman episodes up into a full pilot, but, fuck it, she had a pilot.

And I get to post Yvonne Craig in a tight outfit.

The history-

Pretty much see my Adam West Batman review, and add on that I was ogling Batgirl in both of her identities in the later seasons.

Discussion came up in that one in regards to Burt Ward's sleazy tell-all, and um...I gotta think some of it was true, because, he admits Yvonne Craig was the only chick on the show he didn't get to boink, and oh, man, did he ever want her.

If he was straight out bullshitting, wouldn't he just go "tsh, yeah, I totally did her!"?
Yeah, I dunno.

Fuck this *looks at the picture some more*


Wonder Woman (1974)

The pilot-

Gawwwd da-ha-hayumm!!

Haaaave meeercy!!

Ahem, from here....

Tuts!!
I called her "Tuts", for some reason.
Massive full on blushing boner crush on Linda Carter, even at two.
Her, n' Dolly Parton.
And Princess Leia, and Lois Lane.
But Tuts and Tits were at the top.

The history-

See above.
III...couldn't tell ya much about the storylines, or nothin...

Fuck this *looks at the picture some more*


It's a bird...it's a plane...it's Superman!

The special-

This.




The history-

N/A...pretty damned sure I woulda remembered this...


Legends Of The Superheroes

The specials-

Another one of those things floating around in pirate-copy land, like "The Star Wars Holiday Special", and 90's Fantastic Four.

This...this...wow...if you ever turned up your nose to the Adam West Batman, or Superfriends, or even "it's a bird, it's a plane, it's Superman", this thing...this makes 'em all look like fuckin' Shakespeare.

Holy fuckballs!

It's....a variety show...yes...everything was a variety show in the 70's, and all variety shows were awful...except Muppet show, but that was a parody kinda...

Well, check out this snarky deadpan guy's video review if you simply must see footage...

Part 1
Part 2 (dammit, Warners blocked part 2! Grr!)

The history-

1979? Shit, you'd think I woulda remembered this....I don't...probably for the best.


Superboy

The pilot/series-

For all intents and purposes, this was Superman the show.
Gerard Christopher was older than Dean Cain was when he played SuperMAN.
So, yeah...
A loose sorta-prequel to the Chris Reeve Superman.

The history-

I loved the thing.
I'd probably squirm if I saw it now.
But, who knows?

Anyway, it incorporated a bunch of characters and storylines from the comics,
I recall the most re-occurring villains after Luthor, were Metallo, followed by Mxyzptlk

One of my faves, was where Superma...er, boy went to a dimension with a fascist Superman who ruled the world, and apparently personally conducted his own executions.
My favorite line, from an evil little boy "burn her, Sovereign! Burn her with the fire from your eyes!".
Yikes, huh?
Yeah, no cutesie show was this.

Sadly, the DVD releases died out at season 1, and don't look to be going anywhere.
Yeah, but you can get a complete series box of "Sex In The City".
You suck, our culture.
You just suck.


Swamp Thing

The pilot/series-

Pretty decent, actually.

Dick Durock who played Swampy in both Swampy films played him through the whole series run.

So, yeah, he's  the Robert Englund/Freddy of Swamp Thing.
He is that role.

Anyway, it seems to have, if not directly adapted the comics, tackled some of the topics, and scenarios, and tonal notes that the books did.
It was pretty edgy.

Durock's suit looks great in this, he looks like the John Totleben era Swampy.

The history-

I wish I had kept up with it, the first couple seasons were finding their legs, and I didn't give it time, then, USA made it hard to find, jogging it all over the fucking schedule, but...I'd catch one here or there, at like, 3 AM, and be impressed, and wish I knew more of what was going on with the arcs.
Those later seasons tasted more like Moore era stuff.
Damn, but I wish I'd followed this.


The Flash

The pilot/series

So, the Tim Burton Batman had come out, and the powers that be didn't know how else to make another hit like that, but to blatantly rip off its formula.

So, they got another guy in a rubber suit, another retro-40's-ish cityscape, they got Danny Elfman to rip off his own Batman theme, and they seemingly picked a character with a dartboard, and it was Flash.

But, y'know what?
It worked, I liked it.
It was the best genuinely super superhero show that had been on in a loooong goddamned time.

It probably would look corny now, but back then, it really was something.
Things, it seemed, were looking up.

The history-

The above covers it.


Lois & Clark: 
The New Adventures Of Superman

The pilot/series-

Didn't get into it.

It was touted as "Moonlighting with tights".
Well, I loathed Moonlighting back in the day.

And, having grown up with Margot Kidder, Teri Hatcher just didn't have the right Lois vibe to me.

So, avoided it like poison.

...then, I accidentally caught some later episodes, and saw they delved into the comic mythos, even the John Byrne era stuff pretty heavily, and I regretted my choice, but it was too late.

But..then, I'd see Teri Hatcher in Rent-A-Center commercials, or in ads for "Desperate housewives", and be like..."naw, I made the right call, I just cant stand her".

I go back and forth on that.
You commenters can go ahead, and tell me if I missed anything golden or not.

The history-

See above.


Smallville

The pilot/series-

Decent from what little I saw.

The history-

The "Dawson's Creek", vibe turned me away from it for the first couple seasons, then, I felt like I was too far behind, then when the good shit with the proto-Justice League, and Zod, and all that started happening, I was way too far behind, and basically, it was Lois & Clark all over again.


Birds Of Prey

The pilot/series-

Didn't see it, heard it was good.

The history-

They....didn't market this right at all...cuz, it wasn't 'til  it was almost fucking over, that I even learned it was a Batman-verse thing.
Shit!


Aquaman

The pilot-

Apparently, they introduced Aquaman into the Smallville-verse, and made him a badass, and he got his own spinoff, but the pilot didn't take off.
It's available on I-Tunes I think.

Friends have said that while he was cool on Smallville, the pilot blows goats.

The history-

See above.


Wonder Woman (2011)

The pilot-

You'll never see it.
It got canned and shelved before we could even give it a look-see.

C'mooon, DC, you let fucking "Legends Of The Superheroes", on network air, and without shame, how bad could this have really been?
Huh?

The history-

N/A


Phew, damn, that's all of that, up next.....how about...the DC animated films.

(BTW, this retroactively goes between this, and this)