Thursday, December 1, 2011

Superhero Flicks, Part 3.5: Miscellaneous DCs (Part 2, TV)

Well, that last one took care of Marvel's snouts & asses, let's go back, and do DC's.

Hmm, DC has a couple lucky spots with these...but there's some horrendous shit in here that cancels it back out...

Well, nothin to do, but roll up my sleeves, and dig in....

Superman and the Molemen

The film-

Yeah, I said in the Batman one about the Superman one I haven't seen this, but, it's sort of a retroactive backdoor pilot to the George Reeves show, so, I'll use this entry to talk about that.
See below.

The history-

Nickelodeon played this, (and the Adam West Batman) for awhile.
I really got a kick out of it.
It captured the comic, George was a sincere Supes, if you showed it to little kids of today, they might still like it.
If the flick was anything like the show, it was probably entertaining.
I hear tell that the storyline had a disguised message of ethnic tolerance, which, was pretty gutsy to do in a flick back in those days.
But, Supes was always on the cutting edge of equality, the radio show had him going after the KKK.
Not a generic version either, the real fuggin' KKK.
Way to go, Superman!


The pilot-

Ssss, you little minx, gawdDAWN!

So, yeah, Wiki can't seem to make up its mind if the Batgirl short film is a pilot, or not, and if it's a sorta-pilot, if it bumps her first Batman episodes up into a full pilot, but, fuck it, she had a pilot.

And I get to post Yvonne Craig in a tight outfit.

The history-

Pretty much see my Adam West Batman review, and add on that I was ogling Batgirl in both of her identities in the later seasons.

Discussion came up in that one in regards to Burt Ward's sleazy tell-all, and um...I gotta think some of it was true, because, he admits Yvonne Craig was the only chick on the show he didn't get to boink, and oh, man, did he ever want her.

If he was straight out bullshitting, wouldn't he just go "tsh, yeah, I totally did her!"?
Yeah, I dunno.

Fuck this *looks at the picture some more*

Wonder Woman (1974)

The pilot-

Gawwwd da-ha-hayumm!!

Haaaave meeercy!!

Ahem, from here....

I called her "Tuts", for some reason.
Massive full on blushing boner crush on Linda Carter, even at two.
Her, n' Dolly Parton.
And Princess Leia, and Lois Lane.
But Tuts and Tits were at the top.

The history-

See above.
III...couldn't tell ya much about the storylines, or nothin...

Fuck this *looks at the picture some more*

It's a's a's Superman!

The special-


The history-

N/A...pretty damned sure I woulda remembered this...

Legends Of The Superheroes

The specials-

Another one of those things floating around in pirate-copy land, like "The Star Wars Holiday Special", and 90's Fantastic Four. you ever turned up your nose to the Adam West Batman, or Superfriends, or even "it's a bird, it's a plane, it's Superman", this thing...this makes 'em all look like fuckin' Shakespeare.

Holy fuckballs!

It's....a variety show...yes...everything was a variety show in the 70's, and all variety shows were awful...except Muppet show, but that was a parody kinda...

Well, check out this snarky deadpan guy's video review if you simply must see footage...

Part 1
Part 2 (dammit, Warners blocked part 2! Grr!)

The history-

1979? Shit, you'd think I woulda remembered this....I don't...probably for the best.


The pilot/series-

For all intents and purposes, this was Superman the show.
Gerard Christopher was older than Dean Cain was when he played SuperMAN.
So, yeah...
A loose sorta-prequel to the Chris Reeve Superman.

The history-

I loved the thing.
I'd probably squirm if I saw it now.
But, who knows?

Anyway, it incorporated a bunch of characters and storylines from the comics,
I recall the most re-occurring villains after Luthor, were Metallo, followed by Mxyzptlk

One of my faves, was where, boy went to a dimension with a fascist Superman who ruled the world, and apparently personally conducted his own executions.
My favorite line, from an evil little boy "burn her, Sovereign! Burn her with the fire from your eyes!".
Yikes, huh?
Yeah, no cutesie show was this.

Sadly, the DVD releases died out at season 1, and don't look to be going anywhere.
Yeah, but you can get a complete series box of "Sex In The City".
You suck, our culture.
You just suck.

Swamp Thing

The pilot/series-

Pretty decent, actually.

Dick Durock who played Swampy in both Swampy films played him through the whole series run.

So, yeah, he's  the Robert Englund/Freddy of Swamp Thing.
He is that role.

Anyway, it seems to have, if not directly adapted the comics, tackled some of the topics, and scenarios, and tonal notes that the books did.
It was pretty edgy.

Durock's suit looks great in this, he looks like the John Totleben era Swampy.

The history-

I wish I had kept up with it, the first couple seasons were finding their legs, and I didn't give it time, then, USA made it hard to find, jogging it all over the fucking schedule, but...I'd catch one here or there, at like, 3 AM, and be impressed, and wish I knew more of what was going on with the arcs.
Those later seasons tasted more like Moore era stuff.
Damn, but I wish I'd followed this.

The Flash

The pilot/series

So, the Tim Burton Batman had come out, and the powers that be didn't know how else to make another hit like that, but to blatantly rip off its formula.

So, they got another guy in a rubber suit, another retro-40's-ish cityscape, they got Danny Elfman to rip off his own Batman theme, and they seemingly picked a character with a dartboard, and it was Flash.

But, y'know what?
It worked, I liked it.
It was the best genuinely super superhero show that had been on in a loooong goddamned time.

It probably would look corny now, but back then, it really was something.
Things, it seemed, were looking up.

The history-

The above covers it.

Lois & Clark: 
The New Adventures Of Superman

The pilot/series-

Didn't get into it.

It was touted as "Moonlighting with tights".
Well, I loathed Moonlighting back in the day.

And, having grown up with Margot Kidder, Teri Hatcher just didn't have the right Lois vibe to me.

So, avoided it like poison.

...then, I accidentally caught some later episodes, and saw they delved into the comic mythos, even the John Byrne era stuff pretty heavily, and I regretted my choice, but it was too late.

But..then, I'd see Teri Hatcher in Rent-A-Center commercials, or in ads for "Desperate housewives", and be like..."naw, I made the right call, I just cant stand her".

I go back and forth on that.
You commenters can go ahead, and tell me if I missed anything golden or not.

The history-

See above.


The pilot/series-

Decent from what little I saw.

The history-

The "Dawson's Creek", vibe turned me away from it for the first couple seasons, then, I felt like I was too far behind, then when the good shit with the proto-Justice League, and Zod, and all that started happening, I was way too far behind, and basically, it was Lois & Clark all over again.

Birds Of Prey

The pilot/series-

Didn't see it, heard it was good.

The history-

They....didn't market this right at all...cuz, it wasn't 'til  it was almost fucking over, that I even learned it was a Batman-verse thing.


The pilot-

Apparently, they introduced Aquaman into the Smallville-verse, and made him a badass, and he got his own spinoff, but the pilot didn't take off.
It's available on I-Tunes I think.

Friends have said that while he was cool on Smallville, the pilot blows goats.

The history-

See above.

Wonder Woman (2011)

The pilot-

You'll never see it.
It got canned and shelved before we could even give it a look-see.

C'mooon, DC, you let fucking "Legends Of The Superheroes", on network air, and without shame, how bad could this have really been?

The history-


Phew, damn, that's all of that, up about...the DC animated films.

(BTW, this retroactively goes between this, and this)


hyla2 said...

Ahh, Yvonne Craig . . .

(hands clasp to bosom, eyes roll toward the clouds, feet flutter like butterfly wings, hoisting me aloft)

As mentioned in other comment threads, I too grew up on reruns of Batman, although I saw all of mine on local network TV well before the dawn of cabledom.

Yeah, her and Lee Meriwether. Not to knock Eartha Kitt's Catwoman, but no one could go from sly and slinky to full on ears-flattened bellowing bitch queen like Lee. Woe to the henchman that failed that lady.

hyla2 said...

Ohhhh . . . thet hurted.

Just watched that Superman musical clip. Had been unaware. Wishing I still were.

Really excellent example of why capes are bullshit, though. Dude couldn't keep out of the CAPE'S way, never mind the vice-versey, through a half-assed, staged (I just can't bring myself to say coreographed) Three Stooges meet West Side Story brawl.

The wise superhero should employ a cape for the same reason the circus performers the classic tights and outside underpants heroes who stole their look did: For a grand entrance, a little awe inspiring flash, then you pop the thing off and hand it to some lucky sweet thang to hold while you super-whip the piss out of the nogoodniks. (circus folk are well known nogoodnik-piss-whippers)

Even Ric Flair takes the robe off before he gets in the ring, kids.

Diacanu said...

Did you n' the missus watch the rest of sorta-porno Strange?

..conserving keystrokes, freezing my balls off...

Diacanu said...

Re: Cape. Ditto.

Re: Yvonne Craig, Lee Meriwether, ditto.

Googled, and Lee was also the killer hologram chick in the Classic Trek's "that which survives".

hyla2 said...

HEY, there he is. Naw, not yet. We had apt building handymen in here cutting a chunk of rotten not-so-drywall out of our shower ceiling, so it was a little disruptive.

And she's at work right now.

What's with the conserving/freezing? You guys have a power outage?

Diacanu said...

Tiny-ass K-1 stove, and computer nook are at opposite ends of the place.

Ironically, got a blanket cape on trying to keep warm.

hyla2 said...

Ayuh. Good ol' Decembah in Maine.

hyla2 said...

Speaking of chilling . . . A DC superhero variety show special?

How did I not hear about THAT!?

(unless I blocked it out)

Diacanu said...

We must have blocked it.
I would have been 4, and I loved superheroes, I would have watched it.

hyla2 said...

Maybe, but then I didn't even know about the Batman/Green Hornet meet up until I was in high school.

Or about Green Hornet for that matter. Some '60's TV made it onto the local stations in Waterville, some didn't, I guess.

I just summoned the courage to start watching that link you posted . . . That thing looks AWESOME! I mean, STUPID, but . . . AWESOME! Geez, now I want to see the whole stupid show!

Diacanu said...

Well, it's there on the Youtube sidebar of that vid....

hyla2 said...

Yeeeah . . . But after hearing the rest of that guy's review, I think I'd rather not.

I'm sure it'd be, like, cripplingly hilarious for five minutes or so, but then it gets real old, real fast.

Like Pootie Tang.

Diacanu said...

It's a bitch the copyright cops blocked part two.
There, you get to see the heroes get roasted with bad clean jokes.
One of the roasters is "Ghetto Man".
That's...really something that has to be seen to be appreciated.

hyla2 said...

And, oh snap, what's that I see sharing yon sidebar . . . that Justice League show that never made it!

The one with Charles Emerson Winchester III as Martian Manhunter! HA! Aw, gee . . . how did that fail, huh?

hyla2 said...

'Ghetto' . . . 'Man . . .

Yeah, saw him in the clips before dude-guy's narration started. Huh.

Let's hear it for family entertainment!

Diacanu said...

*Watches some of it*

I gotta say, DC seems to fail harder than Marvel.

Marvel's made some crap, but even some of the crap is watchable.

hyla2 said...

Yeah, I watched a wee bit of one clip . . . with the sound off.

I ain't THAT brave.

*tee-hee* Didja see Manhunter's gut? *tee-hee*

My understanding was they were trying to capture the sitcom/soap with superheroes feel of the JLI comics.

Diacanu said...

Yeah, did you see the little cut-away interviews like the confessionals on "Real World"?

hyla2 said...


Aw, now I gotta go watch the fuggers for real . . .

But maybe later.

And drunk.

Diacanu said...

Shit like that might be cute in a Pixar movie or something.

Assraping the DC universe, not so much...

hyla2 said...

Yes. I agree.

Pixar can make anything cute. Even assraping.

. . .

Or was that not your point?

Diacanu said...

Aw, dammit, now you got me picturing Megamind riding Elastigirl from behind.

See what you've done?
Are you proud of yourself?

hyla2 said...

. . .


Diacanu said...

...well...okay then...mission accomplished.

hyla2 said...


Great job, heroes! Now back to the Hall of Justice for a round of ice cold Fantas!


Diacanu said...

Curse you all, and your dayglo tights!

hyla2 said...

I assume you just recovered from the agony of reliving the Fanta ads in your mind.

Try this one on for size:

Tim Curry, as Pennywise, reciting 'Wanta Fanta, don't you wanna' like the 'you'll die . . . if you try' bit.

You're welcome.


Diacanu said...

*Pounds on sides of head like it's on fire*

Diacanu said...

*Pictures it coming on as an ad after "Bill dodge Auto Group!", at the theater*

(Somehow feels better)

Diacanu said...

So, we're burning December now, guess no Thanksgiving sequel at TGND eh?

hyla2 said...

Ahh . . . SO glad I could pass that on to someone else . . .

hyla2 said...

Thanksgiving sequel?

Whatchu talkin bout?

. . .

I mean, I DID have a follow up planned, I just wasn't sure I'd mentioned it . . .

Diacanu said...

..thought I was the one who suggested it...

hyla2 said...


Refresh the memory, if it was something specific.

The idea I was going with was to show off our Thanksgiving feast spread with some handy pics I took, then be all smug and snotty about it. But then I was all . . . mehhh, too much?

Diacanu said...

Too much???

I was expecting pre and post devouring, stripping the bird down to bones, making the sandwiches and soup, giving the cats the giblets, compulsive pointing at everything up to dipping a finger into the soup, then, a bandaged hand, stuff like that.

hyla2 said...

Hmm . . . Well, alas, most of that has occurred, sans photo records . . . BUT, I do still have a few shots of the pre-devour spread . . .

I could probably bullshit the rest.

Aw, hell. Why not!

Well, now I know what I'm doing with my morning . . . ;)

Diacanu said...


Well, I'm starting to go blurry, laters.

hyla2 said...

To tomorrow!


Blog Archive