Previous years.
-Year 6 (unobserved)
Crap, I tuned right the fuck out and missed this.
BUT! I can wind the date back I think...
Anyway, yeah, Jade-Shade is done.
Done-ey done-done.
Best thing to come of it was Chokecherry, and I've re-incarnated her in the book I'm working on.
So it lives on that way. Least I got something out of it.
Margaret yelled at me to mainstream publish it.
I didn't think it was good enough.
Hurts me to think about.
Looking back, I don't believe in the whole violent street vigilante thing anymore.
To write about.
Granted, I'll still consume it in the form of Batman and stuff, but....y'know.
Yeah, in hindsight, I had to get this kind of superhero out of my system.
Now I'm working on characters that solve problems with their minds.
I had to figure it out the hard way with mistakes. It sure was a slow dragged out fuckin' mistake.
It takes me forever to learn a thing. Poor Margaret didn't have those stupid years to spare.
That's largely why it hurts me to think about.
Why couldn't my dumb ass figure it out faster?
Granted, American culture worked really, really, REALLY hard to blind me.
Still, why couldn't I see it faster? Why couldn't my crummy brain have a couple more IQ points to push me over the speedbump?
The Trump years. I needed the Trump years, and the updated version of "Mistakes Were Made" to really see it.
Again, learning the hard slow fucking way.
Time and circumstance were against us.
I've said it before, I say it again.
Yoda says failure is our greatest teacher.
Okay then. Wish I could have failed this faster to extract the lesson out.
Wish Margaret were here.
I wish, I wish, I wish, but this is the crummy timeline I'm stuck with.
Have to keep moving forward.
I'm not going to do this anniversary anymore.
It hurts too much.
No comments:
Post a Comment