Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Happy Darwin Day again!

Last time, I said Darwin changed the world more than anyone else with a calender holiday.

Well, now I have my calender to look at!

Christmas? Nope.
For one, it's not Jesus' real birthday.
For another, Christ's message still hasn't spread all over the world, and, for yet another, where it has, it hasn't taken hold.
People are still rotten to each other.
Matter of fact, they're pretty much rotten on and around Christmas.
So much for Jesus.

Thanksgiving? Nope.
Fat people get fatter to ostensibly celebrate the one day a bunch of religious wackaloon bigots were nice to the natives before they started killing them, driving them off their land, and burning each other up as witches.
William Burroughs said it best.
Not giving up my stuffing though, just saying.

I love the day, but did it ever really change the world?
Much less, as much as knowing our origins?
Gotta say "no".

Columbus Day? Nope.
See the complaints in the post, he didn't really find America, he's all hype, and even if he did, meh.
Even finding a new continent pales in comparison to unlocking the true story of life on the planet.

Einstein's b-day is coming up in March.
Did Einstein change the world as much?
Oh, he changed it a fucking lot, sure.
But, even if his discoveries eventually lead to actual fucking Starfleet, still not as big as knowing where we came from.

Ditto Alan Turing.

Soldiers, and laborers?
Ehh....you're important, but work and war is kind of the daily grind on this planet.
Even if the wars end up sculpting the face of the map, it's still continent juggling, and see Columbus.

Mothers and fathers?
Yeah, you squirt out all the people, so it all can happen, that's important.
But, is your kid Darwin?
Okay then.

Saints Valentine, and Patrick?
Well, I tend to think saints are...overrated, putting it nicely, but assuming the fanciful tales are true, at BEST...nice guys.
That's it.
Sorry, fellas.

Yeah, we can piffle over Christmas, but Easter is the day I'm actually supposed to buy into the whole "zombie Jesus", thing.
Yeah, no.
But, let's pretend for a minute it's true.
Being the one guy who came all the way back from stone dead is pretty impressive, but...okay, I'm already  used to it by now, what else have you got for me?
See Christmas, it hasn't changed the world as much.

How about election day?
Yeah, that's pretty important.
Who we have in charge indeed shapes history.
If you don't think so, try and imagine the 00's with President Gore.
Still, expand your focus.
Look at the history of Rome.
Democracy kind of comes and goes in sputtering farts on this planet in the bigger picture.
Why, it's as if..society EVOLVES.

President's Day, same drill as election day.
It used to be Washington's birthday, and Lincoln's birthday, and they got mooshed together, because the industrialist scum who own this country wanted one less paid holiday.
Ain't that nice?
Now, Lincoln is pretty fucking important.
Slavery had existed in some form on this planet for millennia.
Nevermind, America's peculiar form of it.
Lincoln said "enough of this shit".
Pretty Earth shaking.
BUT...Darwin emancipates us all from the chains of superstition so...just a liiittle bit bigger.
Okay, a lot.

Groundhog day?
Quaint superstition.
*Hand wave*

Friday the 13th, ditto.

Martin Luther King Day? See Lincoln.

Okay, let's go for fucking broke.
The whole fucking planet!
Most planets we've seen so far, are dead rocks.
Earth is pretty fucking special.
It doesn't seem to care though.
We do.
So, holidays are a human-ocentric thing.
And...did the Earth really "accomplish", life?
Not really.
It won the chemical lottery.
And...if Earth were sentient, would it really be proud of that?
Probably not.
Yeah, Darwin it is.

The only things that I can envision ever competing with the discovery of evolution...Google's birthday, and the discovery of the Higgs.

We'll see in centuries to come.

But for now, happy only real holiday.

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