Wednesday, April 6, 2011

The blood groove.

So, it's oh...about '87 I guess, I'm at Sweetser, one of my old buddies is there, and he's a Rambo nut, and is reading the novelization for a report, y'know, one where you can pick your own book, and he uses what he's absorbed to strike up a conversation about the Rambo survival knife (man, were those babies a hot item for awhile) and he keeps saying "you wanna know what the blood groove is for?", with a naughty grin, and the damned pussy hippie teacher keeps stopping him, like it was y'know, uber-forbidden, like it was trying to explain sex to a 5 year old.

Like, it happened repeatedly, the kid was really trying to tell me, and the teacher was furious about not letting him get it out.
It was almost like one of those "Loony Tunes", episodes where the premise escalates until it's run into the ground.
20 minutes this goes on.


And I never got the answer.

Drove me up a fucking wall.

And, it's one of those memories you forget for years, it floats back, and you're never near a library with "Rambo", the novel stocked, some more years go by, it comes back, you're not near a booted computer, you forget again...

Well, it finally came back to me with the fucking computer booted, so, here it is.

From here...


Releasing the Body Suction

Basically, this theory postulates that the blood groove is present to
facilitate withdrawing the knife from a person/animal. In this
scenario, it is said that the animal's muscles contract around the
knife blade, and that this causes a vacuum, which makes the knife
difficult to withdraw. But on a knife with a blood groove, blood runs
through the blood groove and breaks the suction, so the knife can be
withdrawn with less difficulty.

One problem is that there's no evidence that this suction ever really
happens. Also, over and over again people report that there is no
difference whatsoever in the difficulty of withdrawing a knife with a
blood groove vs. one without. This is one theory that has been tested
and found wanting.

Yes, I realize you may have heard this myth from your deadly knife
instructor, or read it in a book somewhere. But the experts agree
that it is false. If your knife can cut its way in, it can just as
easily cut its way out, with or without a blood groove.

So, that's what it was.
Wound suction.
And it's not even true.

Really, Andy?
You couldn't let Adam get that out?
That's what was so awful?
Yoouu friggin' dummy!
You dumb, wimpy, hippie douche.
Oh, oh, that was so horrible!
*Eye roll*

Well, hahaa! I know now!
Thank you, Google!

And I'm telling everyone!
Especially kids!

Lessee, I was 12 then...

Okay, adults, share this with a 12 year old you know, 12 year olds, share this with all your friends.

Hey, 12 year olds, the blood groove on fancy huntin' knives was thought to release wound suction when you killed a person or animal!

But it's not true!
It's only for decorative purposes.

Now, go slap your hippie teacher in the chops for what they think is no reason.
Especially if the goofy fuck is named Andy-something, and answers to it instead of "teacher", or Mr. Something.

There, all your dopey PC thought suppression work is down the tubes, Andy.

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