Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Alas, WMTW: News 8.


Hey, Maineuhs, y'know channel 8?


Yeah, it's gone.


Yep, Time Warner Cable doesn't wanna carry it anymore.
Apparently, they had a little spat.
Over what, I can only guess....
..so I will.

Time Warner probably came too fast, and Channel 8 was bitchy about having to finish itself off with the vibrator, and then, once in bitch mode, every other unresolved beef trickled in, from food, to bathroom habits, to bills, to in-laws, and Time Warner finally got sick of the shit, grabbed its wallet, and hat, walked out the door, and didn't look back.

So, what does this mean for us, the consumers?

Well, let's see....no more shitty sitcoms....no more shitty Barbara Walters....and...no more...*eyes bug in realization*....no more DR. PHIL!!!!!!

(Opera noises)
OOOHH-HOOOOO-OO-OOO-OO-OOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

*Starts flying like Peter Pan*

AAAUUUAAUAAUUAAAUUOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

*Swoosh!!*

OOOOAAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAAAAOOOOO!!!!!!!

*Swoosh!*

*Starts glowing orange, hugs self, spins around a couple times*

YYOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

*Points at the ceiling, and smashes through it like Superman*

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